The Arrangement Anthology 1(131)

Emma nods. “What are the major things that consume your time?”

“Work and school.”

“I understand that can be difficult. Where do you work?”

Crap. I straighten a little bit more and lie. “At a steakhouse.”

“Stop,” Dr. Pratz interrupts and steps between us. He turns to Emma. “Do you feel like you’re making progress?”

Emma squirms in her seat. “Yes, I think so.”

“Avery, since we only have a few minutes here, throw her a bone. Resume.” He steps back and the clock is ticking again.

Throw her a bone? How the hell do I do that? I try to think of something that she can run with that won’t make everyone get a glimpse into my mind. I chose something that seems harmless. “My friends are stressing me out. One is really stressing me out. He keeps saying he’ll change, but he doesn’t.” How’s that for a bone? I won’t say it’s Sean, but that should give her enough to work with for a few moments.

Dr. Pratz nods at me, pleased. Good.

Emma presses her lips together. Her forehead is creased with worry. “Ah, so it sounds like you don’t think that people can change?”

“People don’t change.”

“So you completely disregard change theory? You don’t believe a person can change when they set their mind to it?”

“No, and change theory is just that—a theory. People don’t change. Name one person who truly changed.” Emma opens her mouth, but says nothing. I prod her. “Come on. Anyone.”

“Stop.” Dr. Pratz says. He stands and steps between us. He says to Emma, “She commandeered the conversation. It’s your job to control it. Steer it back so that the questions follow the path you want to take or God knows where you’ll end up. Resume.”

Emma swallows hard. “Why does this friend need to change?”

Because he’s twisted and wants to make me cower in fear before he has sex with me. “To get over his past.”

“Did something traumatic happen to him?” I nod. “I understand. So tell me, how do you think a person gets over something traumatic from their past?” I falter. The smug look on my face drops. She sees it and dives in. “Did something happen to you? Do you feel like you can’t change? Do you feel trapped?”

My heart is pounding and a cold sweat breaks out on my forehead. I try not to show it, but it’s like everyone can sense she found something. I stare at her like I want to pound her head in when we’re in the parking lot later. I try to keep my voice light and my face expressionless, but it’s impossible. I’m too bitter, too resentful because of what happened. “Yes.”

“Did it change you?”

I nod. We learned that if a person decides that they want to change, that they can. Something has to change inside their mind before the change is complete. But that’s not what happened to me. I didn’t decide to become this way. I woke up one day and the change was forced on me. I glance at Dr. Pratz, hoping he’ll stop her, but he doesn’t. Emma asks, “Is that why you think people can’t change, because you can’t change back?”

Something twitches and it’s like she touched a match to my mind. The entire class is utterly still, watching me. I stare at her. Changing by choice is not possible. If it was, I wouldn’t be like this.

“People don’t change.” I manage. My throat is too tight, my voice is too strained.

“Do you want to change your life? Is it possible that you’re the one who has the problems accepting change and not your friend?”

I stiffen. I forget that I’m in front of a classroom filled with people for a second. My emotions are too raw. “No, it’s because some changes just don’t happen. Some changes can’t happen. Some people are too stuck, too broken. They can’t be fixed, so it doesn’t matter what you ask or how you frame it because the end result is always—”

Dr. Pratz cuts me off, “Time.” I realize that Emma got to me. I’m not even sure how she did it, but she did. Allowing people to pick at mental sore spots is insane. None of those places have healed. I feel stupid.

Dr. Pratz continues, “Emma, very good, but you should never go through someone’s mind randomly pressing buttons to see what happens. When you encounter a sore spot like the one you just found, it could be anything from a day-old ego bruise, to a decades-old abuse scar. If you press a button that’s still raw, it turns into a landmine. You’ll lose control of the session and your client.

“That’s enough for today. Class dismissed.” Dr. Pratz turns to Emma and me, “Please grab your things and follow me back to the counseling center.”