The Alpha’s Desire 1(39)

 

 

 

Please, come closer, I asked again with the voice I gave rise to in my head, attempting and failing miserably at taking the desperation from the thought I threw out there.

 

 

 

I’m as close as I dare, came a reply. Still, the streaks of pain, the start of a migraine, threatened all the more with each word I heard from him in my mind.

 

 

 

You wouldn’t hurt me. I’m sure of that now, I offered.

 

 

 

No, I wouldn’t, couldn’t… His thought fell away, shrouded by a dark bout of anger. It seized me, boiled up from deep within to become the tremble of hot rage in the pit of my stomach. My shoulders tensed to the point of pain, as well. I refused to curl up in a ball, though, or even wince, lest he leave.

 

 

 

Before I could think of anything else, I heard, I’m so sorry. I’d protect you at any cost.

 

 

 

Letting the implication of these words settle, I strained to see him. I couldn’t deny his massive size, much bigger than any wolf I’d ever seen before. The muscles that bulged under the dark, peppered fur on his legs, all four of them, mesmerized me. While the hair bristled over his neck, his face, his muzzle stayed slack. He showed no teeth. His eyes, the ones that had yet to look away from mine... in them, I saw sympathy and pain rather than malice.

 

 

 

Beauty failed to describe this animal, beast but protector. Even with the proof in front of my eyes that he’d probably killed, for me, I couldn’t find an ounce of fear. Rather, I yearned, and my skin ached, to curl up with him as I had in my dreams when I’d been a girl. Maybe I’d accounted for the massive size of him, as the dreams happened more when I’d been young. As I’d grown, maybe around sixteen or so, he’d started to appear in reality more than in a dreamscape. I’d figured I’d just outgrown the need to be cradled at the time. In my yearning for womanhood and independence, I’d found comfort in the thought.

 

 

 

Who was I kidding, though... who outgrew the need to be held at night? Certainly not me. Guess it took a certain amount of maturity to see that, at least. With my thoughts running rampant, unbidden and uncontrolled in my frazzled brain, the wolf cocked his head from side to side like a dog would when you talked to them.

 

 

 

Loneliness settled over me like the chill in the night air. I pulled my robe around me tighter. The wolf hung his head. The arch of his back exaggerated the way his tail hung, full and heavy, weighted by his own emotions. How had I once thought him incapable of feelings? I wanted to run my hands through his shiny, soft fur. I wanted to hug him and never let go. I needed a fantasy world rather than a real one for a time. I sighed and the animal shook his head.

 

 

 

He turned then, as if to walk away. Nothing about his stance looked fierce or predatory, aside from sheer size.

 

 

 

No, don’t leave me, I begged.

 

 

 

Never, his answer ripped through my head with a violence that threw my head back, sent my threatening headache to a full-on throb.

 

 

 

Stay where I can see you. I need you. I need to know why you are here, what I’m to learn from it, I let my thoughts ramble.

 

 

 

I’m so sorry, gently whispered through my brain before he leaped away.

 

 

 

“Yeah, seems to be a lot of that going around,” I said to the darkness that remained.

 

 

 

Lex had written those exact words to me just a week ago. Rather than study my animal to learn from his habits what I should do better in life, maybe I should have been doing a study on the word ‘sorry’.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Eight

 

 

 

By the following Friday night, I’d dragged Chloe to the club again. I knew his band started at about eight o’clock, so figuring they’d have to be there earlier to set up, I’d asked her to meet me about an hour earlier. I’d no longer needed to beg. She’d been fully aware of how desperate I’d become to see him again. Poor, sweet thing had called me every night to check in. We hadn’t talked long, as I’d been more of the mind to just get through the week by working and going to bed early.

 

 

 

As I saw her car pull up a few parking spaces away from mine, relief in the form of a gentle persuasion to my tight muscles to take it down a notch crept through me from my head to my toes. Getting out of the car, I even did a small roll of my shoulders to force them down a tad more. My toes curled, emphasizing the fact that I’d stupidly gone with heels tonight, as I waited for her to get out of her car.