TORTURE ME_ The Bandits MC(80)

“I just don’t want you to get hurt!” Gage yelled, his real motive finally becoming clear. “Please! Why is that so bad? I just want to protect you. I just want to keep you safe.”



“You’re about fifteen years too late for that!” Fiona yelled back. “I will never be safe. I will never be protected. I will never be okay, ever again! The best I can do is just help people like me, but you don’t want to let me. You don’t trust me. You don’t think I’m as strong as you are, not really.”



Gage shook his head but didn’t say anything.



“You and Carl are the same, you know,” Fiona murmured, finally meeting Gage’s dark eyes, seeing the heavy guilt that lay within. “You’re both fucking cowards.”



“Jesus,” said Jack, who apparently had been watching and listening for the duration of this altercation.



“No, she’s right. I am,” Gage said to Jack before refocusing his attention on Fiona. “But I care about you. Your safety is all that matters to me now. I was selfish before, trying to get you involved in this shit. Carl was right. It’s not healthy for you. You deserve better than this.”



“I deserve to make my own choices, Gage,” Fiona said, her voice coming out shaky and unsteady as she fought to keep control over the tears that desperately wanted to leak out of her eyes.



“You deserve to live,” Gage whispered, stepping forward so that he could close the space between his body and Fiona’s, reaching down to grab Fiona’s hands for one second before she pulled out of his grasp.



“You said you couldn’t do this without me,” Fiona whispered, staring down at the ground again. “You said it just a few hours ago.”



“I was drunk. I was stupid. You shouldn’t listen to me,” Gage said, reaching forward again to put his hands on Fiona’s shoulders, peeling her off the wall and pressing her into his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”



“Get off me,” Fiona ordered, shoving Gage away from her. “Come on. Let’s go, I guess.” She set off marching down the hall, furiously wiping at her damp eyes with the sleeve of her shirt.



Gage walked closely behind her but didn’t try to touch her again. Fiona wasn’t sure how she felt about that. On one hand, she knew that if he touched her again, she would only shove him away, but at the same time, she had never felt this weak before in her entire life, with one notable exception. She wished she could be comforted. She wished she could be held and protected and safeguarded, but allowing that to happen would be like admitting that she wasn’t strong, that she wasn’t independent, and that he was right about her. All the men in her life were right about her. Nobody believed in her, not really. Nobody thought she could handle facing her past….not even Fiona herself.



She was quiet for the subway ride back to Carl’s hotel, avoiding direct eye contact with Gage. She knew that if she saw his sad, guilty face one more time, she’d feel sympathy for the bastard, and her body was already overflowing with pity for herself, pity for the girls, and pity for Abby. She didn’t have any room leftover to care about Gage’s feelings right now. Even still, she could see him through her peripheral vision, watching him as he seemed to melt into the seat next to her, like all of his muscles were surrendering.



“You didn’t have to come with me, you know,” Fiona said through clenched teeth. “I could take the subway by myself.”



“I just want to make sure you get back safe,” Gage said, but at this point, he sounded defeated, drained of his energy.



“I’m not a child,” Fiona replied, but it was hard to keep the anger in her voice when Gage sounded so deflated.



“I know,” Gage murmured in response. “I know, Fi.”



“And anyway, how do you know that the killer won’t just follow us here? I could be in danger at the hotel, too,” Fiona argued, even though she didn’t really believe the words she was saying. She knew she was being vindictive, arguing with Gage just for the sake of arguing with him, punishing him for making a decision about her fate.



“Carl will protect you,” Gage said.



“How do you know that?” Fiona asked, finally turning in her seat to face Gage. “Really, how do you know? You only met him for like five minutes when he was yelling at you. He could be anyone. You don’t know that he’ll keep me safe.”



“He loves you,” Gage said softly, looking up at Fiona through his long dark eyelashes. “Anyone who loves you will fight to protect you. I know that much.”