Something Wild(37)

Unable to bear thinking any further about Martin's misconceptions, Ryan  leaned over and nudged his office door shut. The chips would soon fall,  and he didn't know where, but for now he'd just try to get some work  done and hope for the best. Hell, he didn't even know what the best was  anymore.

Ryan pulled up Penny's system on his computer and started inputting  information, but his heart wasn't in the work. He continued looking at  his clock as though counting down the minutes to the moment of truth.  For Penny. For Martin. For him. He wondered what Penny was doing, if she  was down in the pub yet, and he even considered calling her, but talked  himself out of it when the phone rang.

Could it be her? He grabbed it. "Ryan Pierce."

"Ryan, it's Martin. Can I see you in my office please?" He hung up before Ryan could say anything.

Ryan glanced at the clock again. 8:28. Plenty long enough for Grace to  have told Martin everything. As Ryan pushed back his chair, he heard  "Taps" playing in his head. This was it, the countdown was over. He  imagined reaching over to stop the clock, marking the time of his  demise, but you couldn't do that with a digital, damn it.

He moved down the hallway to Martin's office, the place where all this  had begun, and his chest tightened as he leaned through the open door.

"Come in, Ryan," Martin said, glancing up only slightly before returning  his attention to the stack of message slips in his hand.

Ryan stepped inside and took a seat in one of the leather chairs across  from his boss's desk. His soon-to-be ex-boss, he had a hunch.

Martin lowered the messages to his blotter with a sigh. "I've got a lot  to deal with this morning," he said, "but before I do, I want to speak  with you."

Ryan nodded and kept eye contact with Martin. He could feel his head  being positioned in the guillotine and waited for the proverbial ax to  fall.

"I know what's been going on around here," Martin said.

There it was, cutting through him in one smooth slice. "Grace doesn't  miss much," Martin went on, "and she's filled me in on everything that's  happened while I was away.

"I see," Ryan mumbled.

Martin sighed. "I liked you when I hired you, Ryan. I thought you had a  good head on your shoulders and you struck me as someone who knew what  you wanted. You seemed dedicated to making a place for yourself here at  Schuster Systems."

He paused to take a drink of coffee, and Ryan thought, Come on already. Get it over with.

"And I can see now," Martin went on, "that I made a great decision."

A large smile erupted on Martin's face as Ryan's jaw dropped. "You did?"                       
       
           



       

"Now, don't be modest. Grace told me how hard you've been working.  Staying late some nights, arriving early, coming in on the weekends. And  your progress report on the Two Sisters system is quite impressive.  You've gotten twice as far as I'd anticipated and at this rate, we'll  bring the project in way under budget, which is good, since I gave Penny  a little price break." He winked. "I don't know if she mentioned it or  not, but she and I are  …  close."

Not as close as she and I are, Ryan thought, but he just nodded like a madman and said, "She mentioned it."

"Well, anyway, I just wanted to commend you on the good work you did  while I was away. I'm glad to have such a team player on board. But  hey," he said, grinning and shaking a finger as Ryan got to his feet,  "don't work too hard now. You know what they say about all work and no  play."

Oh yeah, he knew, but no way was he going to enlighten Martin on just  how much play he'd combined with work lately, or just how not dull his  life had been in Martin's absence. "Uh, not to worry," was the only  answer he could muster. "And  …  thanks," he added, backing toward the  door.

Ryan left the corner office dumbfounded. What the hell had just happened  in there? Grace hadn't told Martin about him and Penny? He almost  wanted to go back and ask, just to make sure he hadn't missed something  because it didn't make sense.

As he headed down the hall, he looked up to see Grace herself  approaching, a stack of papers in her hand, likely heading to the  copier. "Grace," he said sharply, stopping her in her tracks and meeting  her eyes. Then he spoke more softly. "Thanks. For what you told Martin.  And  …  for what you didn't tell him."

She didn't quite smile, but gave him a thoughtful look that at least  seemed to say she didn't think he was pond scum. "I only told him the  truth about your work. As for the rest, I figure that's between him and  Penny."

"Well, I appreciate it."

By the time Ryan sat back down behind his own desk, though, his emotions  were shifting. Sure, it was great that Grace hadn't tattled on them,  and nice to know she'd noticed the good things he'd done while Martin  was away, as well, but the same old issues still remained, and still  stood between him and Penny.

And the more Ryan thought about it, the more he realized it had been a  relief of sorts when he'd thought Martin knew the truth. Not that he  wanted to lose his job. Of course he didn't. But  …  he just wanted Penny,  damn it. He didn't want to give her up. Not for anything.

And the more he examined the past few days, the less he bought her  "we're in different places right now" speech. After all, how could he  have misread her need, her emotions, so drastically? Those moments when  everything had stopped and she'd just clung to him said it all, didn't  they? Wasn't it possible that she could be wild and want more than just  that at the same time? He wasn't a hundred percent sure-he wasn't a  hundred percent sure of anything today-yet he simply couldn't believe he  mattered to her so little. Naturally, the confrontation with Grace  yesterday had jarred her, and he could respect her concern over Martin's  feelings, but he just didn't believe she was any happier about being  apart than he was.

There was something he could do about this. The idea had been flirting  around the edges of his mind for days, but it only materialized into  something concrete just now. It was a drastic, crazy sort of notion, and  he didn't even know if it was feasible, if it would work. But when he  thought of spending the rest of his life without his Pretty Penny …  Hell,  what was the point of living if you didn't take some risks every now  and then?

* * *

Penny was cleaning glasses as Patti took inventory of the liquor behind  the bar, when the pub's door opened and Martin walked in. "Hello there,  Penny," he said, his voice filled with the same bold warmth as his  smile.

"H-hi." The word came out strangled. Great start.

She glanced at Patti, who had already put down her pencil. "I'll, uh, do  some work in the office," she said, scurrying away to leave them alone.

Penny's first instinct was to remain behind the bar, maintain that  comfortable distance between them, but she knew that would be cowardly.  So she walked out from behind it and let Martin give her a long, rather  excruciating hug before they sat down at one of the tables.

She looked into his eyes. This is it. This is where I break the poor  man's heart. "Drink?" she asked in an automatic attempt to delay the  inevitable.

He shook his head. "I have coffee upstairs. And I  …  really think we should talk, don't you?"

Yes, she did. So Penny took a deep breath and began, nervously. "I've been  …  worried. Where were you?"                       
       
           



       

"I'm so sorry, Penny," he apologized, as she'd known he would. "As I said in my phone message, time got away from me in Vegas."

"I know," she said, nodding. "You were working, learning, soaking up every bit of your conference."

Yet Martin looked uncertain. "Well, not exactly. At first, that was the case, but then … "

But then? She raised her eyebrows. "What?"

Martin took her hand and let out a sigh. "Penny, I have something to tell you."

Yet Penny couldn't suffer through the slow pace of this conversation a  second longer. She'd been waiting for a week to turn down his proposal,  and she had to do it now. "I have something to tell you, too, Martin,"  she said hurriedly, although she tried very hard to sound sad at the  same time.

"No, wait." He held up one hand. "Let me go first. I need to get this off my chest."

The protest left her stunned.

"While I was in Vegas, Penny, I made a big discovery about myself."

"What's that?"

"I just don't think I'm ready to get married."