Something Wild(31)

Snatching up the package from the machine's bin, then grabbing a soft  drink, he made his way back toward his office. Damn, he thought, that'd  been bad timing last night. He rolled his eyes, remembering what he'd  done. Nice, Ryan, real nice. Slather the girl in hot fudge, make love to  her like there's no tomorrow, then toss her out of your life. He didn't  think he'd ever done anything so cold, although it hadn't seemed that  way at the time. He'd kept thinking sensible, sensible, sensible, but  today, it just seemed cold.

This was all Martin's fault. He wanted to believe that as he caught sight of the man's name on the office door down the hall.

But no. This was all Ryan's fault. For needing Schuster Systems so  badly. For screwing up all his other chances. No one was to blame but  him.

It would serve him right if Penny forgot all about turning down Martin's  proposal and married him anyway. Of course, she'd said there was  nothing real between her and Martin, but what if she'd exaggerated,  merely been swept up in passion? What if there was something between  them? And what if it appeared a hell of a lot better to her right now  than Ryan did? After all, look at all Martin could offer her. For one  thing, stability. Then there was financial security and a lasting  commitment.

Ryan let out a cynical laugh as he settled behind his desk. Ironic that  stability was the one thing he craved-he wanted a job that would last, a  life that felt comfortable and dependable-yet it remained the one thing  he couldn't even begin to offer Penny.

Nonetheless, the idea gave him pause, halting him in mid-keystroke. Was that what he wanted? To offer her stability?

The very notion gave him that familiar feeling he got whenever she was  around, for the first time since she'd walked out his door last night.  He'd thought he was taking control of the situation by putting distance  between them, but suddenly he feared he'd let her get even further out  of his grasp. At least when they'd been together, he'd known that part  of his life was good and secure.                       
       
           



       

He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair, realizing he'd  never felt quite so secure in his life as he had with Penny. She was  always so honest, so sweet, so affectionate. He'd never had to worry  that she'd suddenly leave him, because she always wanted him to stay.  He'd never had to fear that she wanted him to change, wanted anything to  change, because he'd seen in her eyes and felt in her touch that she  liked him just as he was. She didn't care about his past or even if he  had a questionable future. She just liked him. More than liked him. He  had seen that and couldn't deny it. She cared for him  …  and, damn it, he  cared for her, too.

He  …  loved her.

What else could make his heart hurt so bad right now? What else could  have him risking his career over a touch, a kiss, an embrace?

It was true. He was in love with Penny Halloran.

And he'd pretty much thrown her out of his life.

* * *

Penny had waited all day on Saturday to hear from Martin. When afternoon  had ebbed into evening, she'd called him at home  …  and gotten yet  another recorded message. "You've reached Martin Schuster of Schuster  Systems. I'm not available to take your call, but if you leave your name  and number, I'll get back to you. Or you can try reaching me at my  office … " She'd hung up in total frustration. What on earth was going on  here? Where was he?

Now it was Sunday afternoon and she was nearly out of her head.

"Let's go shopping," Patti said, standing in Penny's foyer.

"Shopping?" Penny had just filled her sister in on the latest turn of  events, including that she still hadn't talked to Martin and that her  love life was in shambles. "I'm hardly in the mood for shopping."

"Oh, come on. A little shopatherapy always does a girl good. We'll buy  you something new to wear, something sexy, something to reflect the new  you."

Penny only sighed. "I'm hardly in the mood to be sexy. After all, I don't have anyone to be sexy with anymore."

Patti raked a dismissing hand down through the air. "Details, details."  She grabbed Penny's wrist in one hand and scooped up Penny's purse in  the other. "Come on. I'll drive."

After Patti dragged her from the house, Penny dug in her purse for her  keys. As she locked the door, though, she glanced down to see Ryan's  spare condo key still hanging from the ring, which only added to her  depression.

"I'm so sorry you have to go through this," her sister said, apparently realizing just how deep Penny's despair ran.

"There's no one to blame but myself. This is what I get," she told Patti  as they started down the front walk, "for not making sure Martin knew  how I felt before moving on. I deserve this."

"No, you deserve Ryan. Although I'm considering kicking his butt right now."

Penny shook her head as they approached Patti's car. "He's just trying to save his job. You can't blame the guy for that."

"Yes, I can. Some things are more important."

"I never asked him for promises," she said, peering at her sister over  the roof of the car just before they got inside. "I never asked him for  anything more than a good time, fun, sex." She stopped then, turning to  gape at her sister in pure horror. "Oh God, I'm a good-time girl! I have  indiscriminate sex with strangers! I treat sex like it's nothing!"

Patti tilted her head. "Did it feel like that, Pen? Did it feel like nothing?"

Penny thought all the way back to her first meeting with Ryan in the  limo, and then to everything after. "Never," she said quietly. And then  she admitted one more thing to her sister. "I'm in love with him."

"Ah." Patti cast her a consoling glance, after which she started the car  and pulled away from the curb. "Well, then, rest assured, you're not a  good-time girl. Your only crime is falling in love with a guy who isn't  ready to give it back."

"And just what am I supposed to do about that?"

Patti shrugged. "Picking up a cute miniskirt couldn't hurt."

* * *

On Monday morning, Ryan kept his office door wide open, listening. It  would happen any minute now-the elevator would ding, the doors would  slide open, and Martin's voice would echo through the hallways of  Schuster Systems. He would greet Grace, make small talk about his  conference, catch up on important messages, then shuffle past Ryan's  closet, maybe pausing for a hello. Ryan's heart rose to his throat each  time he heard the elevator stop on his floor.

When Martin hadn't arrived by nine, Ryan thought he must be sleeping in.  But when he still hadn't shown up by ten, Ryan started getting antsy.

He needed Martin to show up. He needed to get his life back to normal.  He needed to know Penny had talked to him, to somehow find out what  she'd said and how it had gone.                       
       
           



       

Half an hour later, the office remained quiet, everyone working at their  various tasks, but still no Martin. Was Ryan the only one to notice his  absence? Did everyone else know where Martin was and had just neglected  to tell him?

Clicking the save icon on his computer screen, Ryan made his way to the  lobby. Grace looked up from opening the mail when he stopped at her  desk. "Yes?"

"I was just wondering about Martin. Isn't he due back today? I haven't seen him."

"He's not back in town yet."

Ryan felt his blood pressure begin to spike. "He's not back? Why not? Do you have any idea?"

Grace gave him the same look one might cast upon a suspected mental ward escapee. "Don't get upset, Ryan. He'll be back."

Don't get upset? Don't get upset?

But he had to keep his emotions under control. They were showing way too  much and Grace clearly thought he was going insane. And the fact was,  he was starting to feel a little crazy upon realizing he'd just spent a  weekend apart from Penny for apparently no reason at all.

"I just  …  need to talk to him about some projects," he said, working to keep his voice even. "I was anxious for his return."

"Well, he called just a little while ago."

"What did he say?"

Grace turned her attention back to the mail. "He couldn't talk long, but  wanted to tell me he'd been delayed. He said he'd call again tomorrow  to let me know when he'd be home."

"Well  …  what do you think is keeping him?"

Grace lifted her gaze once more, clearly getting frustrated. "Could be a  lot of things. Most likely, some business opportunity came up that  couldn't wait."

Ryan nodded and tried to act as if that was a good enough answer, but no  matter what was holding Martin in Vegas, Ryan was starting to think it  damned irresponsible of him. He had a business to run. Messages were  piling up. And for God's sake, he'd asked a woman to marry him who was  waiting to give him an answer! What kind of a man was this?