Silent No More(76)

I turn onto the road in the opposite direction to my house. Without thinking, I head to Katelyn and Stacy’s apartment as Poison’s “Every Rose has its Thorn” starts to play through my speakers. I don’t call. I don’t want to take the chance to talk myself out of it. I don’t know if there is enough alcohol that is going to take what I’m feeling away. I stop at a red light and bang my forehead on my steering wheel. God…I can’t even have any alcohol.

I’m not blaming my baby, but damn. Can a girl not get a break? The light turns green and I continue on my way. I wipe the tears from each side of my cheeks with the back of my hand.

When I reach their apartment, I park out front. Katelyn’s car is here so I’m grateful she is home. I’m not sure what I’m going to tell her. I’ve been avoiding my friends' calls for a few days now. Either they know, or they have an idea of what is going on because they haven’t stopped calling me in the last few days.

I run up the stairs two at a time. I can’t get to her door fast enough. I knock harder than I intend and wait. She doesn’t take long to answer.

“Shannon, oh my God. Honey, what’s wrong?” She takes one look at my blotchy red face and pulls me into a warm embrace. I rest my head on her shoulder. It’s the comfort I’ve needed for a week. I regret not coming before now. I’ve been keeping my friends out, and it’s not fair to them or me. I still have people who care about me, even if it’s not the one person I really want right now.

“I should probably go, Katie,” Shane says as he’s getting off the couch. Katie? Since when does she go by Katie? In the moment, I regretted not coming, now I regret being here. I pick my head off her shoulder and she releases me. I had stopped crying before I got out of my car.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” I tell him. Katelyn intercedes before he can respond.

“Shannon, you didn’t, but even if you did, it wouldn’t matter. You are my friend. Go sit on the couch and I’ll bring you a glass of wine,” she tells me. God…how do I explain I can’t drink?

“Baby, I’ll call you later,” I hear her tell Shane as he’s walking out of the door. Once the door is closed, she turns to head into the kitchen.

“No wine,” I yell from the living room.

“Honey, I think you need it,” she yells back. Hell…here I go.

“I’m pregnant,” I confess. There is silence for a split second, and then there’s the sound of glass hitting the floor and breaking. Well…she wasn’t expecting that.

“WHAT?” She comes running back into the living room. Her eyes are wide and she’s in shock. Maybe I should have broken the news to her differently. “Oh! My! Fucking! God!” She says each word like they are each a sentence of their own.

“Yeah,” I reply as she takes a seat next to me. She takes my left hand, entwining it in hers, and squeezes.

“Does he know yet?” she asks.

“No.” Then I proceed to tell her the events I witnessed in his office. By the time I’m finished, I’m crying again. I just want all of this to stop. My heart aches so much. How do I make it stop hurting?

“That’s…odd,” she tells me. “Shane told me that Nicholas has been a mess, and he’s never seen him act the way he has for the past few days.” I have no idea what that means, but I don’t ask her. She releases me and stands up. “I’m going to get you a glass of water. Stay put.”

“And some aspirin, please,” I say as I rub my fingers across my forehead, above my eyebrows where the same migraine still lingers. The intensity is increasing. I want to lay down and forget about today. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the sight of Nick having sex with someone else out of my brain. Katelyn returns a few minutes later placing two pills into the palm of my hand.

“It’s Tylenol. I remember when my sister was pregnant that’s all she could take,” she tells me with a shrug. I pop the pills into my mouth and reach for the tall glass of water she brought me. I swallow a gulp and then hand her the glass back.

“So what happened? Shane swears he doesn’t know, and you haven’t been taking anyone’s calls.” She takes a seat on the other end of the couch. She sits facing me with a leg tucked under her butt.

Fuck.

What do I tell her? Obviously not the truth, but I opt for a semi-truth.

“I used to work for Nick’s father,” I murmur. She crunches her eyes together. “Back in high school,” I clarify. I reach for my glass of water and take a long sip using the time to sort out exactly what I want to tell her.