Silent No More(71)

I want the fucking bastard to die.

I’ve never wished someone dead before. Not even when he raped me ten years ago. Back then, he stole my virginity, but now he’s stolen my life.

Isn’t that rich. Now that Nick is gone, I realize I love him and just how much. My heart feels broken. Nick wanted to rip it out of my chest; well, he succeeded in doing just that three nights ago. Today is no different from Friday night. It may be even worse. It’s Monday morning and I should be at work. Instead, I’m wallowing in my misery.

I’m pulled out of my thoughts when my doorbell rings. Niko is sitting next to me curled up on the couch. I have no idea where Charmin is. Nick didn’t take the dogs when he stormed out of my house. I’m sure he wasn’t thinking clearly and perhaps this is him coming back for his dogs. This thought really saddens me. Over the last four weeks, I’ve not only fallen in love with Nick, but I love his two dogs too.

I throw the blanket off me and finally get up. I haven’t moved since I sat down last night and cried myself to sleep. I’ve cried myself to sleep every night since he left. I didn’t know heartbreak could hurt so much. I guess that’s why they say losing love is like having your heart ripped out of your chest and broken into millions of pieces. There isn’t enough glue in the world that could put it back together the same way it was.

I walk over the door and unlock it. It’s not Nick and I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. It’s his mother, Elaina Lewis. There is something about the expression she is giving me. I don’t think she hates me, but I think it’s the look I would give someone if I felt sorry for them. I don’t need anyone’s pity. I need Nick back.

“Hi,” I say as I step back, opening the door wide so she can step through the front door. She does and sets her purse on the floor next to the door. I guess she isn’t staying long. Perhaps Nick sent his mom for his dogs, but I highly doubt it. She doesn’t look like much of a dog person. I didn’t realize it before, but his mom looks perfect. Her attire is pressed and pristine. Her makeup is flawless and her hair is perfectly in place without a stray one flying out.

“I probably should have called you, but I wasn’t certain you would be answering any calls. You look like you had a rough night.” That’s putting it mildly. It’s been a rough few days.

I walk back over to the couch and sit back in the same corner I was in before she arrived. Niko had since gotten off the couch and probably went outside through the doggy door Nick had installed to use his outdoor potty. Man, it must be a great life to be a dog. Eat, sleep, and shit on grass. They don’t have to worry about falling in love and having it ripped away from you.

“You don’t look like you want to rip me apart so why are you here?” I ask. She might as well get to the point so I can go back to the depressing misery that is my life.

“You thought I would be mad at you?” she says as she takes a seat and grabs my left hand into both of hers. Yeah, she definitely feels sorry for me.

“Why wouldn’t you be? Either you know your husband’s side of the story, or Nick told you. Either way, it’s still your husband’s version.” Why couldn’t I just have told him? Would he have believed me?

“I should have come to see you before now, but I didn’t want to face the truth.” What does that mean? Did Judge Lewis tell her before yesterday? Is she the reason he told Nick? I doubt it. He wanted to hurt me, and he knew taking Nick from me would be the worst thing he could do. He told me I would pay and I’m certainly doing that.

“What do you mean?” I ask her while pulling my hand away. I’d rather not be touched right now. She sighs deeply before responding.

“The day you came to my house, I saw your eyes when you heard James’ voice. It was a look of pure fear. I knew in that moment he had done something horrible to you.” She pauses for a brief moment, casting her eyes down before continuing. “He forced you, didn’t he?”

Shocked, I snap my eyes to hers as she’s looking back up. Oh my God, she knows. I don’t know how, but she does. Someone else knows what he did to me. Someone else knows he raped me. I can’t stop the tears from falling. I’m crying before it registers in my head. Elaina grabs me, pulling me into an embrace. I sob uncontrollably on someone I barely know.

“I’m so sorry, honey. No one should have to go through something that traumatic alone.” She is holding me by the back of my head and rubbing my back with her free hand. I sob in her arms for at least five minutes, maybe longer. I have this overwhelming feeling of relief, yet I’m terrified at the same time, if that makes any sense?