Shelter Me(7)

When I enter the kitchen, I feel like I’m in a testosterone war zone. The tension is so damn thick, a sword wouldn’t be able to slice through it. There’s a major stare down happening between Adam and Luke. When they notice me approach, they turn and look at me.

“Hey, baby,” Luke greets, and the sound is like music to my ears.

Stop it, Shayne. Cool, calm. He hurt you, left you. Think with your brain.

“May I have a word with you for a minute, please?”

His question cuts through my internal pep talk and I turn to Adam.

“It’s okay, Adam. Give us a minute.”

“Are you sure?” he asks, his concern for me breaking through the anger in his voice.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” With that, I turn to Luke and motion for him to step outside so we can talk.





Chapter Three



“How are you?” Luke asks. An effort to break the awkwardness, I’m sure.

I turn toward him and lean my arm against the rail lining the patio.

“I’m doing okay. Listen, Luke, I appreciate you coming here, and I know that you cared very deeply for my aunt, but I don’t want you here. I’d appreciate it if you would just leave.”

The words tumble past my lips, all in fake bravado. I want him gone, can feel the hurt and resentment I have bubbling to the surface. But more than that, I hate the way my body responds to him.

It scares me.

I feel so out of control; my heart and brain battle against what I want versus what I know. He left me. No phone call, no explanation, just a sad letter that crushed me into pieces. Pieces I’ve had to weld back together for my daughter, for myself. If playing the bitch role makes him leave, makes this whole scenario hurt less, then I’ll do it.

“Shayne, there’s so much I have to tell you... so much that you just don’t understand. I need to explain a lot of things to you and you’re going to listen to me,” he says, the tone in his voice turning into a harder, more determined one than before.

Can I actually hear him out? Do I want to? With the tone he’s using, I’m close to just telling him this conversation is over, but there’s still a piece of me that wants to know why he left. I’ve been craving answers for seven years. Seven long, excruciating years. I’d told myself it had to be me. That I just wasn’t it for him, like he was for me. If there is another reason for what he did to me, should I take a chance and listen?

“Please, Shayne.”

The words break me away from my thoughts. This is too much to process, but for the life of me, I can’t find it in myself to deny him. I want… no, need the answers he may finally be able to give me.

“Luke, I will meet with you, but let’s get one thing straight here. You and I have a lot to talk about, and so help me God, you’d better tell me the truth about everything because I deserve to know it.”

“I swear to you, Shayne, I will tell you everything,” he says, the relief in his voice palpable. The softness in his tone sends goose bumps to rise on my arms and my heart skips a beat. He used to use that voice so many times before, but only with me. When he whispered how much he loved me in my ear, when he told me how exquisite I was to him. His tesoro bella.

“How about we meet at Bubba’s, one o’clock, the day after tomorrow?”

“Fine,” I say quickly, knowing how fast my hardened shell is crumbling to pieces. I need to get out of here now before I break down like a blubbering idiot. Luke turns to leave, but before he strides down the stairs, he looks back.

“Oh, and Shayne? I still think of you as my tesoro bella.”

Fuck!

I watch him climb into his vehicle and pull out of the drive, wondering what the hell I just agreed to. I walk back into the house and shut the door. Leaning my head back against it, I let out a deep breath. A moment later, Adam enters the kitchen with a look between irritation and sadness on his face.

“You doing okay?” he asks with concern.

“No, I’m not doing okay. I just agreed to meet him the day after tomorrow for lunch and I just can’t. I’m just… I don’t know what I am. Scared? Maybe. Concerned? Definitely. It’s ridiculous.”

“Come into the living room with me and let’s talk about this.”

Doing as he asks, I follow him into the living room where we both take a seat on the couch.

“Okay. Now, spill.”

“There are so many reasons why I can’t meet with him. When I came home, I never expected him to be here. He was the reason I haven’t been home in years. Now that I have seen him, everything has come rushing back and I’m not sure how to handle it all, all of the emotions, the hurt, and the betrayal. But even with all of that, my heart knows him and it’s not acting accordingly. I just can’t put myself in that position again. I can’t put Lucy in that position. And, when he finds out about her, I have no idea how he is going to react. You know what? No, I’m just going to go upstairs, pack everything up, and go home with you. I need to get back to everything, anyway.”