Shelter Me(10)
“Morning, brat.”
“Morning, Adam.”
I turn around and he holds his arms out to me. I embrace him with everything I have. We stand there for the longest time just holding each other and feeding off of each other’s emotions. When we finally break away, it is time for us to leave for the funeral. We both grab a coffee to go and head out to Adam’s truck.
We arrive at the funeral home before everyone else, grateful to have a private goodbye with Aunt Judy. We walk hand-in-hand and are greeted by Mr. Standish. He directs us to the room where Aunt Judy is.
Slowly, we approach the casket. Seeing her lying there, looking so peaceful but knowing she’s no longer with us, brings us both to tears. Adam places his arm around me and we find our way to our seats as people start to file in and give their condolences.
The funeral begins. Several of my aunt’s dear friends as well as a few coworkers stand and talk about how wonderful she was. A feeling of peace settles over me, knowing how much my aunt was loved by so many people. Once everyone has finished saying their piece, we all file out to our vehicles with our heads down and head to the cemetery where we put my aunt to rest.
As Adam and I go to leave, I see Luke and his older brother, Antonio, standing off to the side. When our eyes lock, I notice a single tear roll down Luke’s face and land on his lips. I force myself to squish the urge to run over and lick the tear from his perfect lips. I scold myself, feeling slightly disgusted that the thought even appeared.
As the funeral is ending and we are about to get into Adam’s truck, Bubba and Jen approach us and ask if we want to come over for a few beers and to meet their daughter, Zoe. We both agree and follow them to their house.
As soon as I step through their door, I take off my heels and the light sweater I have on over my dress and sit in one of the outdoor deck loungers while Jen goes into the house to take care of the babysitter. Adam and Bubba grab us all a beer.
The sun feels so good beating down on my face and shoulders. In spite of the emotional day, I tell myself that I feel at peace. Everyone comes out and Bubba strides up to me, handing me a Corona.
“You really know your way to this girl’s heart, don’t you?”
“You bet I do, baby girl. How you holding up?”
“Actually, better than I thought I would be. I love her so much Bubba. It just hasn’t quite sunk in yet that she is really gone, but I do know she would want all of us to continue on with our lives and be happy. Speaking of being happy, there is something I need to tell you.”
“You’re not leaving already, are you?”
Shaking my head no, I continue on. “Before I left here all those years ago, I found out I was pregnant.”
Bubba doesn’t look even the least bit surprised. Adam, who is right behind me, turns to me with a plea for forgiveness in his eyes.
“Shit, Shayne. I am so sorry I didn’t tell you… I told him and Jen. After I called you and told you about mom, I just needed someone to talk to about everything, and I knew I could trust these two. You know I would never betray your trust, but I knew both you and Lucy were going to be here, and…”
Placing my hand on Adam’s arm, I give him a tight squeeze.
“It’s fine, Adam. Really it is. And I am not mad at you at all. In fact, I’m thankful the two of you have stayed as close as you are and you have someone to talk to.”
Bubba sets his beer down, but before Bubba can respond, Jen comes out of the house carrying a mini version of her husband; light blonde hair and the biggest blue eyes I have ever seen. Zoe extends her arms out to her Daddy and he peppers her face with kisses as she squeals out all kinds of little giggles.
“Shayne, this is my Zoe,” Bubba introduces.
“Oh God, Bubba, she is absolutely adorable. May I hold her?” He hands her off to me and she lets out a little giggle that sounds like a perfect angel. It is the cutest thing I have ever heard and it brings tears to my eyes, reminding me of my own little angel's laughter. Just like that, I know I can’t meet Luke tomorrow... or ever. I have to do everything I can to stay as far away from him as possible before Adam gets back with my very own green-eyed, dark-haired princess who looks just like her Daddy.
After we all have a few beers, Adam and I decide to call it a day and head home. As we are pulling into the driveway, Adam turns to me.
“Today was hard on both of us, but I know mom is at peace and would want both of us to live our lives without regret and heartache. So let’s try to move forward and live the kind of lives she would want us to. She loved you, Shayne. You were her daughter in every way and she would want you to be happy. I know you are having second thoughts about going to talk to Luke tomorrow, and I think you should let those thoughts go.”