Serenity (Inevitable #5)(112)

       
        

Matthew recoiled in shock, as though someone had just used a taser on him. "Sasha  – my God. Why have you never told me any of this before? Why am I just hearing this now?"

"Why do you think?" she replied faintly. "Because it's obviously traumatic for me to think about, much less talk about. I've pretty much tried to repress the memories for the last twelve years. And the only other person who knows about this is Linda. I've never told my parents what happened, and I never intend to."

He continued to stare at her for long seconds, until he took her completely by surprise as he scooped her up into his arms, and carried her with long, purposeful strides into the master bedroom.

"Matthew, don't," she protested weakly, as he deposited her on the bed.

But he paid her no heed, wrapping her up in his arms instead, and simply holding her for untold minutes.

"How did something so unspeakable happen to you?" he whispered against her curls.

Sasha hesitated, knowing that she could trust Matthew implicitly, more so perhaps than anyone she'd ever met before. But twelve years of keeping this particular secret hidden away, of forcing the memories into the deepest, darkest corners of her mind, made her wary.

"I'd really prefer not to talk about it," she hedged.

"Please. Sasha, I've told you a whole lot of things about myself these past few month, shared things with you that I've never done with anyone else. I'd like to think that sort of trust goes both ways."

She felt a bit ashamed at his gentle rebuke, and sighed in resignation. "All right. But what I'm going to tell you never leaves this room, Matthew. My parents can never, ever find out. Do you promise?"

He entwined his fingers with hers, holding their joined hands against his chest. "With all my heart," he vowed.

"All right." Sasha exhaled sharply, knowing that this would be far from easy. "I've already told you how difficult it was for me to fit in during high school - how I looked and dressed differently from the other girls, the accent I hadn't managed to get rid of, and mostly not being familiar with American customs or trends. I was incredibly shy around most people, but especially boys. So when this one guy asked me out, I was so excited, flattered even. I barely knew him, but he was good looking and popular and had always seemed like a nice boy.

We went out about three times, and each time he got a little more aggressive, a little more demanding physically. It went pretty quickly from just wanting a good-night kiss to petting, and then he started putting the pressure on me to go further. I was still a virgin, of course, and had very little idea about sex. By the fourth date, he lost patience and basically just forced me against my will. He brought me to his home on the pretext of meeting his parents, but the house was empty when we went inside. And there was no one there to hear me scream when he - he raped me." 

"I'll kill him," muttered Matthew in a deadly voice. "I will fucking rip him apart with my bare hands for what he did to you. Tell me his name, Sasha."

"No, Matthew. I'm not going to tell you. Violence has never solved anything, and it certainly wouldn't help in this case. And it was a long time ago, I've managed to get past it and get on with my life. Now, can you please let me go so I can leave?"

"Not yet." He tightened his arms around her, preventing her escape. "What happened after that? You called the police, I take it?"

Sasha gave a short, bitter laugh. "Given that his father was the local chief of police, and his mother some sort of high-priced defense attorney, that wasn't exactly an option. And he took great pleasure in reminding me of those facts while I was running out of his house, warned me that any complaint I made would just get dismissed. It made me wonder if he'd done this to other girls, knowing that his parents would always keep the truth hidden away. I got out of there as fast as I could, made it to a gas station on the main street, and called Linda. I'm not sure she's ever made the drive from Stinson Beach to Mill Valley quite so fast."

"And she agreed with you about not pressing charges?" asked Matthew incredulously.

"Not at first, no. But the more we talked the whole incident over, the more we realized that we needed to keep it quiet. For my sake, more than anything else. I was having a difficult enough time fitting in and making friends at school, and if word had gotten out about the attack I would have been an outcast. Everyone would have taken his side, and the last thing I needed at the time was to be gossiped about and shunned. And then of course there would have been my parents to deal with." Sasha shook her head. "My father wouldn't have bothered with the police. He would have gone after the boy himself, beat him unconscious, and not given a damn about the consequences. The same way I'm sure you feel about the boys who did this to Hayley."