Second(28)

He arches a brow and lifts his arm up, silently telling me to come and sit next to him. I press my body against his, his arms coming around me. “What are you in the mood for?”

“This is good,” I say, burying my face in his chest.

He chuckles, kisses the top of my head, and says, “To watch, Sabina. Tell me what you want to watch or I’ll end up putting on a horror and I know you don’t like those.”

I lift my head. “It’s not that I don’t like them, I just have bad dreams afterwards. And I prefer to avoid that.”

“You won’t have bad dreams while I’m here,” he says, sounding confident.

“You can’t know that.”

“Want to make a bet?” he says, kissing just below my ear. “We’ll watch a scary movie you’ve been wanting to see, but have been too scared to. You sleep with me tonight, just sleep, and I bet you that you don’t have any bad dreams.”

“And if I do?” I ask, the idea of getting to hug him all night extremely appealing. Also, because it’s a bet, we don’t have to question or overthink why I’m staying with him. It works wonders for my denial.

“Then you get whatever you want.”

I blink. “What do you mean, whatever I want?”

“Whatever you want from me, I’ll give it to you. If you ask me something, I’ll do it for you. If you want something, I’ll get it for you.”

“I’m not going to ask you to buy me anything,” I say, lifting my chin, even though that damn Givenchy bag has been calling my name for a while now but I haven’t wanted to break the bank for it.

“Well then, the ball’s in your court.”

“And if you win?” I ask, wondering what he wants out of this.

“Then you have to sleep with me every night until I leave.”

Until he leaves.

I don’t even want to think about that right now; I refuse to.

“Deal,” I say, offering him my hand. We shake on it, and then I choose the movie. Tara told me it was good, but I’ve been too scared to watch it. I guess tonight I’ll be battling more fears than one.

Watching a scary movie, and potentially letting another man in.





Chapter Fourteen

We watch the movie, and in Dean’s arms it’s actually not so bad. When it’s over, I brush my teeth, wash my face, then meet him in my bedroom after he’s done the same. We both stand at the bed, looking at each other. Are we really going to do this? Spending the night in the same bed, in each other’s arms, seems like crossing a whole new line. It’s almost as if my subconscious has decided for me that I’m all in, and now the rest of me just has to catch up. Dean lifts the sheets, flashes me a wolfish grin, and nods to the bed. “Ladies first.”

My lip twitches as I sit on the bed, then lie back. He does the same, stretching his arm out for me to lay my head on. I get in position, then look up at him. “I can’t believe we’re spending the night together.”

“Do you not want to?” he asks, his free hand running down the side of my stomach. “I can think of many pros.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I know we shouldn’t. So it’s kind of like what I want, my own feelings against my morals, do you know what I mean? I’m at war with myself, and the selfish part of me is winning.” I take a deep breath and press a kiss onto his cheek, which is starting to get prickly with stubble. “I think there’s always been something between us, Dean. I just pegged it as friendship, because that’s all it could ever be. I never even thought about it, but looking back… that connection has always been there. And to be honest, it makes me feel like a fucking terrible person to admit that out loud, because I was married to Ben. It’s like I’m shitting all over his memory or something. So yes, I want to be here with you right now more than anything, but I feel guilty over it, too.”

And there it is.

The honest truth, and saying it out loud makes it so damn real.

“You’re not a terrible person,” he says, sounding angry. “If anyone is in the wrong, it’s me, not you. He was my cousin, Sabina. But like I said before, he’s not here, and when he was, we didn’t do anything wrong. No lines were crossed. We have a chance to be happy now, should we not take it?” He pushes my hair off my face, cupping my cheek with his hand. “I’m not going to push you into anything. If you don’t want this then say so, and I’ll leave, no questions asked. I don’t want you to feel guilty, Sabina. I don’t want you to think of us as a bad thing, because it’s not. I wish you could see it how I see it.”