Second(14)

She expels a deep sigh, silently telling me how difficult she thinks I am. “Do you want to do something or just hang out here?”

I glance at my watch. “We could catch dinner and a movie if you want? My shout. Dean said he’ll need a couple of hours.”

“Sounds good,” she says, smiling. “Work’s been killing me, and I’ve been so worried about you. I can’t remember the last time I did anything fun.”

Tara’s an English teacher. I don’t know how she does it, especially with teaching high school, but she’s good at her job. Sometimes when the kids are mean to her, I feel like rocking up to the school and threatening them. Some of the boys make comments to her too, because she’s a babe and they’re sixteen and douchebags. But she handles everything with her usual gentle grace, and I don’t think there’s anyone who would make a better teacher than her.

“Besides messing my house up trying to make me eat?” I tease, playfully nudging her with my elbow.

“Priorities, Bina,” she says, huffing. “And it wasn’t that messy. What movie should we see?”

“I don’t know, I’ll check online and see what’s on tonight.”

She beams, her beautiful smile hitting me right in the gut. “Excellent. Let me go and get dressed, I can’t leave the house like this.” She motions to her shorts and singlet top, then stands and heads to her bedroom.

I think about how happy she is just to spend some quality time with me.

The simple joys of friendship, that’s something to push forward for.





Chapter Seven

I walk into my house and glance around. It looks exactly the same, but it feels different.

“Dean?” I call out, walking through the lounge room. When I can’t find him, I open my bedroom door but don’t enter. I just stand there for a few moments, unable to move. I turn the light on, and at first everything looks the same. But then I step into the room and see that his shoes aren’t in their corner. Everything that belonged to him is gone. I open the wardrobe, and his side is empty except for the few items that I decided to keep. Everything else is gone, like it never existed. Like he never lived here. I sit down on the bed, struggling to breathe. I calm myself, take deep breaths, and tell myself that this needed to happen. And it did. But it’s not easy. It feels so final.

He’s really gone.

And I need to accept it.

“Hey,” Dean says in a soft voice. “I wanted to be here before you got home.”

When I don’t say anything, he continues, “I went to drop the boxes off at Kate’s.”

I bet she was happy about that.

I nod, but keep my gaze on my hands.

“Are you okay, Sabina? Do you want to be alone?”

I raise my face and look at him. “Thanks for doing this for me. I know I wouldn’t have been able to.”

“Come here,” he says, opening his arms to me. I stand and lay my cheek on his chest, falling into his embrace. I don’t cry this time, I just feel… a little broken inside. I feel lost. I’m trying, I really am, but I think that time is the only thing that’s going to help me through this.

“Everything hurts,” I say.

“I know,” he whispers, running his hand down my back in comforting circles. “You’re doing so well. One step at a time. Get some sleep, and everything will look better in the morning, I promise. We’re going to get out of the house, get your mind off everything. I have something planned for you.”

The last thing I want to do right now is leave the house, but I nod. Tomorrow is a new day, and as I’ve learnt, distraction is key. I breathe in the scent of Dean’s cologne on his white t-shirt and close my eyes.

Finally, I lift my head and glance up at him, our eyes connecting. “Did you have dinner?”

He nods. “Kate made sure I ate something.”

“Good,” I say, forcing a small smile. It probably came out as more of a grimace, but I tried. “I think I’m going to go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning?”

“Okay,” he says, then lowers his head to kiss my forehead. “If you need me, I’m right here. Anytime, Sabina. If you want to talk in the middle of the night, anything.”

“I know,” I say, stepping away from him.

He leaves my room, closing the door behind him, and I slide into bed under my covers, burying my face in my pillow.

Tears don’t come, but sleep doesn’t either.



*****



I wake up to music.

Barefoot, I walk into the living room where Dean is playing guitar and softly singing. The music is beautiful. I sit down on the couch opposite him, not wanting him to stop in my presence, but lucky for me he continues to play and sing about unrequited love. The song is hauntingly beautiful. He lifts his gaze from his guitar to me and smiles, and I know right then and there why half the women in the world are in love with him.