Sea of Love(45)

“I’m sorry, Sheila. I’m so sorry,” Lacy said, and they fell into each other’s arms and held on tight. “What can I do? Who should I call? We can stay with the kids for as long as you need us to.”

“I called my parents. They’re on their way. I know Dane’s gonna feel guilty, and the doctor said he saved Rob’s life. Please tell him thank you for me. Please tell him that I don’t blame him. I know Dane, and he’ll blame himself.” Sheila took Rob’s hand in hers again.

“I will.”

“What did you tell the kids?” Sheila asked.

“Nothing. I didn’t know what you wanted me to tell them. They’re so sweet, and they are very worried. Do you want me to sit with Rob while you go see them?” Lacy asked.

“Should I? I don’t want to leave him.” Sheila looked from Rob to Lacy and back again.

Her eyes widened, and Lacy knew she wanted her to give her the answer. “I don’t know. I’m not a mom, but I think they’d want to know you’re okay and hear something about their dad.”

“What if it upsets them more, and then I have to leave them again?” she asked.

“I wish I had the answers.” Lacy reached for her arm, just to reassure her that she wasn’t alone in all of this. “I can tell them whatever you want if you’d rather.”

“No, I should do it. Will you stay with Rob? I want him to know someone’s here with him.” Sheila stood and moved toward the door. “I’ll only be a few minutes.”

“Of course.”

As she sat alone in the room with Rob, the machine beeped in a constant eerie cadence—a gruesome reminder of Rob’s condition. Lacy crossed to the other side of the bed and noticed the bandages covering the left side of his face. A nine-foot shark whacked his head. She reached for her thigh and wondered if his cheek looked the same beneath the bandage. A flash of pain ran through her leg as she remembered being grazed by the shark.

She thought of the pride she’d seen in his eyes when he looked at Charlie and the love she’d seen for Sheila and Katie. He had been so vital last night. Now his skin had lost its sheen. It looked pasty, like it had lost all of its elasticity. How can that happen overnight? Anger stirred deep in her belly. A shark whacked his head.

This was a choice. Nobody forced him to dive. He chose this lifestyle. Dane chose this lifestyle. For all these years, Rob has done what he loves doing, and to hell with what it does to the people who love him. She could replace Rob with Dane. To hell with what it does to the people who love him. Her hands began to shake. Would you give up your career for me? Why hadn’t she seen his answer for what it was? Come on, Lace. He’d said it like she was asking a silly question. It wasn’t a silly question. And now. Now? She looked at Rob and felt a thread of longing for the man he had been the day before.

Sheila returned to the room, and Lacy’s whole body was shaking.

“I feel a little better having talked to the kids,” Sheila said. “My parents should be here in half an hour. Did he move at all?”

Lacy barely registered her words. Tears tumbled down her cheeks. She felt sick to her stomach.

“Lacy?” Sheila said.

Lacy didn’t respond. She couldn’t. What if it had been Dane? What if it was Dane tomorrow or next year?

“Lacy? Honey, are you okay? Should I get the nurse?”

She felt Sheila’s arm around her shoulder, she heard her voice, but she couldn’t process the words she was saying.

“What are you gonna do?” The words came out as a whisper, without thought, without inflection. Flat and dry.

“I’m gonna stay right here until Rob wakes up. And if he doesn’t wake up, I’m gonna sit here some more. I can’t lose him, Lacy. I have to believe he’s gonna be okay.” Sheila touched her arm. “Honey, are you okay?”

Lacy managed a nod.

“Dane said Rob told him he was quitting, and he’d offered Rob a job driving the boat and helping in other ways, not diving, not tagging. I think Dane’s still in shock. He’s having a really hard time.”

Lacy shook her head.

“Lacy?”

“Huh?” she said.

Sheila looked at Rob, then back at Lacy. “Lacy, why don’t you go be with Dane? He needs you.”





Chapter Twenty-Nine


AFTER SHEILA’S PARENTS took the kids home with them to Connecticut and Sheila assured Dane and Lacy that she’d be okay staying with Rob, Lacy drove Dane back to the marina in silence. When they arrived at Treat’s boat, Lacy followed Dane down to the cabin, clutching her keys and unable to think past the accident. She couldn’t get the image of Rob out of her mind, and Sheila’s words pummeled her mind over and over until she felt like they were coming from her own lips. For all these years Rob has done what he loves doing, and to hell with what it does to the people who love him.

“Lacy, we should talk,” Dane’s eyes were full of sadness, but the rest of his face was emotionless. His mouth hung slightly open, and there were tension lines across his forehead. He looked as though he was still in shock.

Lacy was unable to concentrate or even think past the new worry that had taken over her mind.

He sank onto a cushioned bench. He didn’t reach for her hand; he didn’t pull her close. He didn’t look into her eyes the way he always had. Dane folded his hands in his lap.

“My job is risky,” he said.

“It is,” she said robotically.

“When I held Rob’s lifeless body in my arms…” Tears sprang from his eyes. “Jesus, I was sure I’d lost him.”

Seeing Dane cry tugged tears from her eyes, too.

Dane stared at the floor. “He might not wake up. Sheila and the kids might lose him tonight. Lacy, he quit before we dove. He was giving up diving, and now…now he might never wake up again.”

“Yes.” Lacy’s mind was impotent. She couldn’t form a coherent thought. She felt reality staring her in the face. Dane could have been the one who was hit. Their conversation came rushing back to her. What if something happened to you? What if I gave up everything and, I don’t know, you get eaten by a shark or something? He’d answered her so easily, like the risks associated with his job weren’t real. Lacy, that’s not going to happen. She held on to the wall for stability.

“I can’t do it to you, Lacy. I can’t ask you to be with me knowing the reality of what could happen,” Dane said. “I can’t live knowing that you could end up in the same place that Sheila is right now.” His voice was cold and hard.

“I know.” Fresh tears sprang from her eyes. She clenched her keys so hard they cut into her skin.

Dane shook his head. “I promised not to fall in love with you.” He raised cold eyes to her, and when he spoke, his words came out hot and mean. “I lied. I love you, Lacy. But I love you too much to let you be with me.”

“I understand.” Lacy couldn’t feel her face. Her lips were numb.

“You should go. It’s too hard to see you, knowing we shouldn’t be together.” Dane looked away then, his hands fisted by his sides, his teeth gritted. “Leave, Lace. Please leave. You deserve a life with a man who will come home every night in one piece. Alive. Please, just go.”

Her legs were controlled by someone other than herself. They had to be. They were moving up the stairs. No! Go back! And then she was running. Running faster than she’d run in years. She was in the car, driving. She didn’t remember any of the turns or stopping at red lights. How did I get here? She stood on the porch of the cottage. She unlocked the cottage door. The cottage that Dane rented me. She didn’t remember turning on the bath or soaking until her fingers and toes had pruned. She didn’t remember hearing the phone ring and ignoring it—multiple times.

When Lacy opened her eyes as the morning sun streamed through the curtains, she couldn’t remember ever feeling so lost. She buried her head beneath the pillow and closed her eyes again. Maybe she could stay here forever, in this nowhere land, this gray state of half awake and half asleep. Maybe if she tried hard enough, she really could disappear. No, she couldn’t do that. Rob’s unconscious. Sheila needs me. She had to get to the hospital. She tried to move from bed, but her body wouldn’t respond to her command. When had she become so exhausted? Dane. Dane will come. No matter what I need, he’ll come for me. She collapsed back against the mattress with the weight of a dead man. Dane wouldn’t answer her pleas. Dane was gone. They were done. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to be whisked away into another day of blissful sleep.





DANE SHOT UP in bed. His eyes darted around the cabin, his pulse racing. Goddamn dream. He looked at the empty space beside him, where Lacy should have been. The evening before came back in bits and pieces. Rob. Oh God, Rob. The next thought brought Lacy, and reality hit him like a brick in the face. He’d sent her away. He’d had to protect her. I did the right thing. His chest burned. If I did the right thing, why do I feel like someone turned my body inside out and kicked me to the curb? He wanted to stay in his cabin and never face the world again. He wanted to go someplace far away, where he could disappear and wallow in his despair.