Sea of Love(41)

“Were you okay back there? I thought I picked up on something…” Dane let the sentence hang in the air between them.

Lacy wrapped her arm in his and rested her head against his shoulder. “I had a talk with Danica tonight. She brought up some stuff that’s probably way too early to be thinking about, but now I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“What kind of stuff?” Dane asked.

“Like what happens when this trip is over.” Lacy looked up at him.

Dane stopped walking and faced her. Her eyes were wide and worried as they searched his. He held on to her, probably too tight, but the thought of losing her again rattled his nerves.

“I’ve been thinking about that, too,” he admitted. “I don’t know if it’s too early to think about it or not, but it’s where my mind traveled…” He shrugged. “Hell, Lacy, seeing you with Rob’s kids made me think all sorts of things that are probably wrong to think about so soon.”

“Yeah? Like what?” she asked.

Kids, marriage, growing old together. He didn’t want to scare her off, but he wanted her to know how immense his feelings had grown.

“The same kind of thing. What’s next. Kids.”

Lacy touched his chest and smiled. “Kids? Really?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I was watching you with Katie and Charlie, and for the first time ever, my mind put me and children together in the same sentence, led by you.”

“I love kids.” Lacy’s eyes lit up. “Gosh, you’re thinking even further ahead than I am.”

Dane pulled her close and kissed her lightly on the lips. “I don’t know what it is between us, but I can see us together when we’re old and gray. What I can’t imagine is a life without you by my side.”

“Me either,” Lacy said. “It’s the in between I can’t figure out.”

“I’m not sure what the answer is. I know you love your job. Hell, you came here to save your career.”

“I came here to be with you,” Lacy said.

“I’m just a bonus to your fluffy little vacation on the Cape. Oh, and a path to a promotion,” he teased.

“You’ve got me all figured out. So, Mr. Braden, what happens after the fluffy little vacation is over?”

I wish I knew.

They walked hand in hand. The sounds of crashing waves filled the gap in their conversation.

“We’ll have to make better travel plans,” he said. “See each other at least once each month.”

“Once a month?” Lacy shot a worried look at him.

“Lace, I travel all the time. You know that. I want to be with you every second, but short of you quitting and traveling with me…”

She turned away.

He’d been afraid to even approach the subject because she’d been adamant about how much she loved her job, but now, he couldn’t not ask.

“Would you consider that? Coming with me? I’d like nothing more than to have you by my side every second—I know you can’t be on the boat while I tag, but every other second.”

Lacy’s arm stiffened. She bit her lower lip, and when she turned to face Dane, it was sadness that he saw, clear and present, in her heavenly eyes.

“It’s okay, Lacy. We’ll figure something out,” he assured her, though he had absolutely no idea how they ever could.

“Can we see each other more often? Once every two or three weeks? I can come to you once each month and you can come to me.”

Her pleading tone pulled at his heart. “We can try, but realistically, going to Maui or even Florida for a weekend can be exhausting if you’re doing it all the time, just like flying from those places to Massachusetts would be.”

“Do you want to see me more often?” she asked.

Dane dropped to one knee and held her hand in his.

“Dane?” Lacy’s other hand flew to her mouth.

“Lacy Snow, I want you by my side every second of every day. I know you promised not to fall in love with me, so will you friend me?” He smiled, then added, “Will you friend-with-benefits me? Forever?”

Lacy laughed. “What does that mean? Like on Facebook?”

Dane stood again and brushed off his slacks. “Come with me. You don’t ever have to admit to falling in love with me. Just live with me. Be with me. Be my friend-who-can’t-be-in-love-with-me forever.” He was sure they both were way past the friendship pact, but he was afraid a real marriage proposal might scare her off. Still, hope soared through his chest as he thought about the possibilities. “We’d wake up together every day, Lace. Spend our free time knocking around villages or reading, or whatever. I don’t care what we do. I just want you there with me. What do you say?”

Her smile faded, taking Dane’s hope with it.





DANE’S FRIENDSHIP PROPOSAL stole the wind out of Lacy’s lungs. Was he serious? Give up her job and travel with him? What would she do all day? She couldn’t go on the boat with him when he was working. What about all the years she’d worked her ass off for World Geographic? That meant something to her. It meant a hell of a lot to her. She looked at Dane’s hopeful eyes, the way his chest heaved up and down with each excited breath. God, she wanted to jump into his arms and say, Yes! Yes! I’ll be your friend-who-can’t-be-in-love-with-you forever! But how could she do that?

“I never expected a friend forever proposal,” she said.

“I didn’t expect to give you one,” he admitted. Dane touched her cheek. “A pact is a pact,” he teased.

“Like blood sisters when you cut your palm and mix your blood with your best friend’s,” Lacy joked, but inside she wasn’t laughing. She didn’t know how to navigate their relationship into the future, even though she wanted to do exactly that. “Dane, would you give up your career for me?”

“Come on, Lace. I built an entire foundation from nothing,” he explained.

She nodded. “I know.”

“Think of the life we’d have together. We could go anywhere,” he said.

“As long as there are sharks,” she pointed out.

“Okay, you have a point, but, Lace, the alternative is being together part-time,” he said.

“What if something happened to you? What if I gave up everything and, I don’t know, you get eaten by a shark or something?” Lacy realized the viability of her question, and she clenched her jaw to keep the new worry from taking over.

“Lacy, that’s not going to happen. I told you, my job is less risky than driving down the street.”

“But what if?” she asked. “Then I’d have given up everything, and I’d have no home, no stability. No job.” No Dane. OhGodohGodohGod.

He stepped closer, resting his forehead against hers, just as he’d done after they’d made love. His whisper was a caress to her tumbling heart as it careened out of control toward the edge of a cliff she desperately wanted to avoid.

“I’m careful, Lace. I won’t let anything happen. Rob wouldn’t let anything happen to me.”

She didn’t want to think about it anymore. Sheila had been clear about what a part-time relationship did to a family. Then again, Rob and Sheila were working things out, so maybe there was hope. Lacy wondered if she could—or should—give up her job. She needed time to think, but her mind was running in circles.

“Don’t worry, Lace. We’ll figure this out together. I know how important your job is to you, and I know how much Fred respects your abilities. I don’t want to jeopardize your happiness or your career. But honestly, I don’t want to lose you, either. We’ll figure it out.” He kissed her forehead. “Let’s go back to the cottage and fall asleep in each other’s arms. No sex, no deep discussions. Let’s just be close.”

Lacy felt like they were trapped in a bubble of unanswered questions with a future that didn’t seem attainable just outside. If only we could find the answers and pop the bubble so we could grasp our future and hold on tight.





Chapter Twenty-Five


DESPITE THE UNANSWERED questions that spun in her mind and her heart unraveling a little more with each passing minute, when they’d arrived back at the cottage, Lacy had fallen asleep in Dane’s arms just as he’d suggested, and surprisingly, she’d slept right through the night.

Dane awoke in a full sweat. He shot straight up in bed, and Lacy followed.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. She watched his eyes dart around the room.

“Just a bad dream. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said.

“Want to talk about it?” she asked.

He climbed from the bed and grabbed a towel from the bathroom. “It was my mom. She was right there with me, like she was in all the pictures at my dad’s house. She was pushing me from behind.” He washed his face and came back to the bedroom. “God, I haven’t dreamed of her in years.”

“Maybe you’re really missing her right now because you were thinking about our future and having kids,” Lacy said.

He smiled and touched her cheek. “Maybe.”

“You’d better get ready. The alarm should go off in five minutes. I want to get ready early, too. I’m going to stop by that toy store in town and pick up a few things for Katie and Charlie before I meet them.” She touched his side as she walked into the bathroom. “I’m really looking forward to spending the day with them. I think it’ll be fun. What’s the plan after you’re done? Do you want to call me?”