Say You Want Me(78)

“I do love her!” I yell. “I love her so much I let her have what she wanted. I killed myself in the process! So, fuck you, Presley! You don’t know what the hell I’ve been going through!” I let it out and sink onto the bed and grip my head. “You have no idea!”

“No?” she asks with an edge to her voice. “I lost everything once! I found my husband hanging from a beam in my bathroom while my two kids were downstairs. I’ve dealt with losing someone. Don’t you dare tell me I don’t have an idea.”

It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t have the loss at her own hands. I did. That’s the part that no one else can ever tell me how I should feel about. I watched her lose that baby. I was driving the car. I was the one who should’ve gotten her out sooner.

Letting her go is the least I can do for her.

“Were you responsible for that?” I push back. “Because I was.”

She shakes her head. “Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware that you can control what deer do? I didn’t know you were the goddamn animal whisperer! All this time I thought that you were a regular guy. My bad.” Presley snorts. “Or maybe you are actually related to the God of weather? It must be your fault then since you’re magical. My God, must you really be this stupid?”

“It was my fucking fault!” I yell.

“No. None of that was your fault. The only thing that is your fault, is what you did after. You drove her away. You broke her heart so that you could go on actin’ like a jackass! Well, good job there, you sure accomplished your goal.”

My stomach drops as the truth hits me in the face. She’s right. I didn’t lose Angie. I made her go. I did whatever I could to make her leave me. But if she’d stayed here, would it have been what she really wanted?

She once said she didn’t want to marry me out of obligation. I didn’t want her to stay for the same reason.

“It’s for the best.” I try to assure myself.

She snorts as she shakes her head. “You know what? You’re right. You don’t deserve her.”

“I know.”

Presley’s jaw drops open. “You really believe that? You think because of some accident that you don’t deserve happiness?”

“I believe a man does what’s best for a woman he loves. I think she loved me because she thought she had to. I would’ve married her, Pres. I wanted to. And then she made a few comments about when she was going back home.”

She sinks onto the bed next to me, runs her hands over her face, and then slaps the back of my head. “You’re so dense.”

“How would I have known any different? How would we know if what we had was real? She didn’t even know.”

“The same way that you’ll know what to do if you want to fix this.” She pats my thigh. “And I don’t even know if you can. You really screwed up. You’ve broken someone who’s never let anyone have that ability. Getting back in . . .” Presley gets to her feet, moves toward the door, and then stops. “Listen, I’ve done and said stupid shit when I was in pain. I’m not judging you. I’m just going to tell you that a measure of a man is how he handles himself after he’s hurt the one he loves. If you’re the man that I know you to be, then you’re going to have to stop your self-sacrificing bullshit and love her with no reservations. Don’t hold back, Wyatt. We’re not guaranteed a damn thing in life. If you find someone you love, hold on to that person, because it could be gone the next day. I think you and I know a thing or two about that.”

Presley walks out the door, leaving me to think about what she said.

I didn’t want to hear it. I knew—I thought I knew—what she wanted. The last thing I wanted to do was hold Angie back. Losing our daughter was the loophole she needed. So I did what I always do . . . I convinced myself that if I loved her, I had to let her go. How could I have been so blind?

Now I don’t know if I can ever get her back.

I fucked up.

Bad.





Angie

“WHAT DO YOU THINK?” ERIN asks again. It’s been a rough two weeks since I came back to Philly, but Erin is happy to have me back. She’s been in my ear every day about looking at new properties. I figured there was no point in holding off, so today she’s dragging me around to check out new locations.

“It’s fine.”

Erin steps in front of me. “You’ve said that about every single place. One of them was a dump.”

“Because whatever you pick is fine, Er.”

My heart isn’t in anything. It’s back in Bell Buckle being trampled.