Reluctant Wife(32)
‘Roz,’ he said abruptly, ‘let me tell you what could be achieved if we got married. You’d have no problems with your grandfather’s debts. You’d be able to keep ‘Nimmitabel…’
‘No!’ she broke in incredulously. ‘Is that what all this is about?’
‘You could say, in part,’ he replied drily, but there was a mocking look in his dark eyes as he added, ‘But I can always get her when she comes up for sale. Being very rich does have its, advantages.’
He waited and watched, and Roz wondered why she should feel guilty about what she’d said.
Adam went on when she could only stare at him confusedly, ‘There’d be other advantages for you: you’d have security and a home—you mentioned that you’d like to have lots of children, and so, I find now, would I. Some, anyway!’ He grinned, then sobered. ‘And you’d also have a husband with your best interests at heart, and that I give you my word on, Roz. I may be an elderly cynic, but my word has always been my bond.’
‘I… ‘she began helplessly.
‘So far as the horse goes,’ he said, ‘I can’t deny my interest in her, what I’d like best is for you to be able to keep her. Perhaps’ he shrugged. ‘I’m superstitious, but the two of you seem to go together—and before I live to regret saying that, if I didn’t find you … desirable l wouldn’t be asking you to marry me if you came with six Nimmitabels.’
Roz blushed vividly.
‘Perhaps you don’t realise how lovely you are, Roz,’ Adam told her quietly. ‘Or how much I’d be gaining. A wife, admittedly young but with, I think, the intelligence and wisdom and grace to allow it to work. Someone I respect enough to want to have as the mother of my children—and before you ask me how I can know that I think its probably because I’ve met you and known you when the chips are really down for you. That’s generally a good test of character, and you, my dear, have come through with flying colours in my estimation.’
Roz opened her mouth, then closed it again. For the life of her she couldn’t stop herself from thinking of the alternatives, of the damage she had so unwittingly wrought among the Howards, of Mrs Howard’s pale, grim face and how she had been so kind over the years. Of Mike and how, until now, he had always got along so well with his father, of the curious fact that while she knew she was quite innocent she couldn’t help feeling tainted by Mrs Howard’s revelations.
‘I…’ She stopped and bit her lip, glancing at Adam to see that he watching her almost idly. As if he’d stated his case and was prepared for the outcome to go either way. And she thought suddenly how clean-cut and safe it sounded, with none of the dark secrets and pitfalls that apparently existed between men and women, as she had discovered this morning and found so shameful and frightening…
She thought of having to part with the foal, her home, she thought of Mike again and finally of Adam Milroy himself who had told her he respected her—also desired her, yes, she mused, but not in a way that made her feel degraded.
‘I…’ She looked up at last and he was still watching her carefully. ‘All right. Yes. Thank you every much.’
Adam, said nothing, just held out his hand to her and she hesitated, then went back to the bench and sat down beside him. He put his arm around her shoulders because she’d started to shake and, was horrified to find tears rolling down her cheeks that she couldn’t control.
But he didn’t seem to mind, in fact he pulled her head down gently on to his shoulder and stroked her hair, as she cried with reaction to so much, disastrous, horrifying couple of weeks in her life, a momentous step in her life.
Things moved then with a speed that took Roz’s breath away.
She hadn’t even seen Mike to explain, and felt cowardly but almost certain she would be unable to anyway. And Adam had broken the news to Mrs Howard there and then.
To her credit Mrs Howard had looked stunned and had started to say, ‘Roz, if anything I said this morning …’
But Roz had gone up to her and put her arms around her as Adam had frowned and looked from one to the other of them probingly, and she’d said very quietly, ‘I trust Adam——if I didn’t I wouldn’t be doing this, and I don’t think I am the right one for Mike, otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this either. Perhaps you could …help him to understand for me, please, and thank you for everything.’
‘Oh, Roz!’ Mrs Howard had appeared to do battle with herself, but finally she said, ‘If you’re very sure?’