Reluctant Wife(29)

Mrs Howard stared at her, then said wearily. ‘My dear child, no. That’s ridiculous, because we know you so well and you’re so sane and sweet and a good girl, you really are. But …’ She broke off.



‘Please tell me,’ Roz whispered.



Mrs Howard turned away and stared out of the window. ‘It’s … she turned back. ‘It is something about you. Something that men find——well, let’s say it wreaks havoc with their peace of mind. It’s a sort of reserve and maturity together with your looks, your lovely body. It’s … not going to be easy for you, Roz, nor perhaps for the man you marry. That’s what Mike’s dad is afraid of. You see, he’s not—entirely unmoved by it himself.’



Roz’s lips parted.



Mrs Howard watched her carefully. ‘Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you, Roz?’ she said after a moment.



‘No … oh!’ Roz’s eyes widened with shock and she went pale.



‘I see that you do,’ Mrs Howard said quietly.



‘But I had no idea! I—oh, please believe me, I …’



‘Roz, Roz,’ Mrs Howard said gently, ‘don’t upset yourself. Of course you had no idea. I don’t want you thinking Mr Howard is something of a monster either. It only proves that he’s a very human, middle-aged man—and sometimes it’s a relief to know he is human,’ she added with a grimace.



‘But …’



‘Unfortunately,’ Mrs Howard continued, ‘it’s been very difficult for him to cope with this, as you can imagine, perhaps. He has a very strong moral streak and likes to take pride in his integrity. What,’ she paused thoughtfully, ‘never ceases to amaze me is how often people like that fall into a terrible trap. On top of which,’ she said drily, ‘men don’t need much encouragement to shift the blame when it comes to women anyway, I’ve found.’



Roz stared at her. ‘I don’t understand,’ she whispered.



‘He blames you, Roz.’



‘You mean …’ Roz’s mouth fell open and her eyes were wide with disbelief and then appalled. ‘But I’ve never …’



‘I know that, Roz.’



‘I feel terrible. I feel … do you really mean he thinks I … encourage men to … to …’ Roz stopped and licked her lips. ‘Has he told you this?’



‘Not in so many words, but I can read him like a book,’ Mrs Howard said sadly. ‘Nor did the fact that Adam Milroy spent the night, or what that other man threatened you with, help.’



‘He didn’t spend the night with me!’ cried Roz.



‘Sorry,’ Mrs Howard closed her eyes briefly. ‘Roz, how can I explain it better‘? It’s … like a defence mechanism Mr Howard is using against you—you can understand that? Oh, Roz, I’m sorry I ever had to tell you this, but circumstances have conspired against us and,’ she sighed and looked considerably older suddenly, ‘while I can’t help but feel indignant about the way men treat us sometimes I … at the moment I’m facing the prospect of a very real rift developing in this family.’ She stared at Roz helplessly.



‘What can we do?’ Roz whispered after an age. ‘I—I don’t seem to be able to think too clearly. I mean, of course I’ll go home, but Mike … and …’ She blinked away some tears, her face white and distraught.



Mrs Howard stared at the tea pot, then visibly gathered herself. ‘l’ll think of something,’ she said but with only a shadow of her normal decisive air. ‘Why don’t you have some breakfast and then change into something smarter—don’t forget Adam Milroy is coming to see you this moming. I must say I’m very curious about that, aren’t you?’



Roz stared.



‘Had you forgotten?’ Mrs Howard asked gently.



‘I … yes. But I don’t feel hungry,’ Roz said distractedly.



Mrs Howard took a dim view of that, however, and chivvied her into having toast and tea at least, then sent her off to get changed, but appeared moments later to help her choose her clothes. They settled, at least Mrs Howard settled, on a blue blouse that matched Roz’s eyes and a full white cotton skirt. Then she suggested that Roz put her hair up and helped her to do it, remarking that it made her look very chic.



Later, over the next days and months, Roz was to wonder if Mrs Howard had had any inkling of what was on Adam’s mind or any idea of what her revelations would do to Roz’s state of mind, and seen a solution to their problems. But on the whole she rejected this thought. The years over which Mike’s mother had treated her almost as a daughter made it difficult to believe … No, it had all been a coincidence, she decided each time.