Refuge(105)
“I did like it,” I admitted. A lot. “But I’m not sure if he did.”
“Uh, his behavior last night would suggest otherwise.”
“Tristan told me people have no control over who they bond with and that males feel it a lot stronger. What if the bond made Nikolas kiss me when he didn’t want to?”
She made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a snort. “I don’t think anything can make that man do something he doesn’t want to do. The bond gets stronger only if the two people have feelings for each other. That much was pretty clear last night. So fess up.”
“I do care about him, but he drives me nuts always telling me what to do.” I rolled onto my back and looked over at her. “This is really freaking me out. I’ve never even been on a real date, and now all of a sudden I have a life mate? I mean, I could have one.”
“Whoa, you’ve never dated anyone?”
“I had coffee with a guy once. Does that count?”
She shrugged. “I guess. But Nikolas was your first kiss?”
“Yes.”
“Excuse me while I hate you for a minute.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, please.”
Jordan smacked her forehead. “Ah, this explains why he almost went nuclear last night.”
“Because of one kiss?”
“Because you’re a virgin. Didn’t Tristan tell you about that?”
My cheeks grew warm. “We didn’t talk about that.”
“Men.” Jordan turned on her side and cradled her head in her hand. “Most people go a long time before they meet a mate, and they don’t exactly live like monks while they wait. From what I’ve heard, a male’s protective instincts can go a bit haywire if their mate is a virgin.”
“Great,” I muttered weakly, wishing the floor would swallow me up.
“Don’t worry. They say the male calms down once you complete the bond.”
“What if I don’t complete the bond?” What I felt for Nikolas, it was definitely stronger than friendship, but was it enough to commit to him forever?
“You can choose not to, but then I’d have to smack some sense into you. This is Nikolas we’re talking about.”
I rubbed my temples. “Can we talk about something else?”
“All right. How about you tell me what you did to that vampire last night?”
I pasted an innocent expression on my face. “What do you mean?”
She gave me a pointed look. “I was there, remember? I saw you take him down, and I heard him scream.”
He screamed?
“And I’m pretty sure I smelled something burning, too.”
“I had a silver knife,” I said weakly.
Jordan shook her head. “Your knife was across the room. Listen, I know you did . . . something, just like you did something to that lamprey demon. You’re different from the rest of us, aren’t you? I mean, look at you. You’re a seventeen-year-old orphan and you’re totally sane. You don’t even act like you have a demon inside you, and the rest of us have to meditate every morning just to control ours. And who the heck owns a pair of hellhounds?”
“You meditate?”
“Don’t try to change the topic. If it wasn’t for your bond with Nikolas I’d wonder if you were actually a Mohiri.”
I should have known Jordan would put it together. I wanted to confide in her, to tell her everything, but something held me back. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her. It wasn’t easy for me to open up to people, especially about this.
“You’re right. I am different. I wish I could tell you how, but I can’t yet. Only a few people know about me, and they think we should keep it between us for now.”
“Tristan and Nikolas, right?” I nodded, and she pursed her lips. “Is that why Nikolas is training you?”
“Yes.” There was no point in denying it.
“Okay.”
Okay? “That’s it? You’re not going to try to figure out what it is?”
Jordan tugged at a loose thread on my sleeve. “If Tristan and Nikolas think you need to keep it a secret then it must be important. I’ll just have to wait until you can tell me.” Her eyes gleamed. “Or until I can figure it out myself.”
“Good luck with that,” I said confidently. No matter how smart she was, she would never in a million years guess this one.
She rolled off the bed. “How about that walk?”
“Sure.”
“Inside or out?”
“Inside.” If Nikolas was out on his motorcycle, there was no chance of me running into him.
It was almost ten o’clock so we didn’t run into many people as we wandered from one wing to the next. In one of the common rooms, Olivia and Mark were snuggling on a couch watching a movie, and they both eyed me curiously when we passed by. I couldn’t hide from everyone forever, but I wasn’t ready for the stares and the questions.