Redeeming You(58)

“I don’t care about that. The fans can wait. I have all night.” He pushed her hair behind her ear and she trembled.

“I don’t. I’m tired,” she lied. Tired or not, it didn’t matter when Cam touched her. His slightest touch never failed to send desire spiraling through her.

“Tay,” he pleaded taking her face between his hands, kissing her lips with so much tenderness, her breath hitched. “Tell me why you avoided me all day.”

“I didn’t—”

He held up his hand interrupting her. “The truth, Taylor. I can’t fix what happened unless you communicate.”

“This can’t be fixed,” she whispered in a ragged voice that she hardly recognized as her own. She despised all this emotional bullshit. She wanted to go back to being numb to life, to emotions, to touchy feely stuff. Life was easier that way.

“Of course it can. Don’t doubt it or us.”

“No, it’s not possible,” she reaffirmed, her voice stronger than before.

“Give me a chance.” He traced the side of her face with his guitar calloused fingertips and her body pitched toward him slightly, almost chasing his fingers.

Feeling herself being sucked into him again, she ducked her head covering her face with her hands. This thing with Cam wasn’t going to work. She needed to stop deluding herself into believing otherwise. “Why can’t you just let her go?” she yelled through her shaky hands.

“Who?” Cam pulled her hands away from her face, lacing her fingers through his.

“Bre,” she blurted out, her voice sounding bitter to her own ears. She hated even saying the name because it evoked enough jealousy and insecurity to last her a lifetime. She hated feeling this way. She thought she kicked the old Taylor to the curb the day she walked away out of her childhood home for good, but now that insecure hopeless little girl invaded her body again making her feel weak and pitiable once more. Not an enviable feeling.

“I don’t want Bre.” Cam eyebrows wrinkled in confusion.

Her head snapped up meeting his eye. “I heard you.” She slipped her hands free from his hold. “You. Said. You. Love. Her.” She punctuated every word with a pound of her open palm against his chest while willing her tears to fuck off. This was not the time to cry like a big baby. She was better than that.

“What?” he asked disbelievingly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I would never say that. It isn’t true.”

No. No. No. She couldn’t sit here and listen to him lie. She hated liars. Her mother lied about everything when it suited her. Her relationship with Miles was one big lie from the beginning. Cam could at least give her the respect of being honest with her. “Move,” she said shoving him away from her as hard as she could.

“No. Explain.” He pinned her hands to the top of the desk, blocking her escape with his body.

“I heard your conversation with Alec this morning. Why can’t you let her go? I don’t get it.” She flipped her hair away from her face and tipped her chin up trying to appear strong even though she felt like fading away into oblivion.

Cam looked at the ceiling as he rubbed the nape of his neck. “I let her go a long time ago. I didn’t have a choice.”

“Then move on. She has. She’s with Jax and if you haven’t noticed, she’s never been happier. Everyone can see that except you.” The minute she said it, she knew it was hurtful, but she was hurting too. Didn’t he realize that? He wanted Bre more than anything, including her, and Taylor couldn’t live with that reality, not when she was second, third or fourth best to every other person she had loved in her life. She couldn’t be Cam’s back up plan. She wouldn’t do that to herself…ever.

“I know that,” Cam said softly as Taylor studied his eyes. They hid mountains of pain. “That isn’t the issue.”

“Then I can’t be with you.” She tried to leave again, pushing at his chest.

“Taylor, don’t you dare walk out on me. We’re not finished talking—not even close. I’m not letting you walk out that door until we resolve this misunderstanding because that’s what it is.” He placed his hand on her hips pinning her to the desk. His lips thinned in frustration.

“What’s there to talk about? What do you have to offer me? You’re a man still in love with his ex and obviously that’s not going to change. I’m not willing to accept that.”

“You’re wrong. It’s not like that.”

She released a bitter laugh tilting her head to the side. “Want to explain or is that too much effort for you.”