Raging Heart On_ Friends to Lovers Romance(59)
“If you truly love someone, the only thing that matters is making them happy.”
“That’s a one-sided love, Buttercup. Selfish in nature.”
“How can it be selfish to give everything you have to someone else?”
“Because in a love like that, you lose yourself,” I tell her, and when a tear unexpectedly falls from the corner of her eye, my thumb automatically swipes it up. “Hey now, what are the tears for?”
“It’s just sad, the way things are… for Cyan, I mean.”
“There’s just times when you have to accept that you can’t make someone else happy, that two of you don’t mesh,” I tell her, pushing these thoughts aside. It’s time to shift the focus from Cyan and Alice and back to the woman who’s slowly invading my heart. “How about we get back to carving our names on the tree?” I ask her, pulling my pocket knife out with a grin.
“You really want to put our names on the tree?” she asks like she doesn’t believe me.
“Absolutely.”
“But you’ve never—”
“I don’t think you get this yet, Kayla, even though it feels like I keep saying it. This thing between you and me has gone beyond the child you want. Hell, it’s gone beyond the deal in general. I’ll say it as many times as you want until you understand this is real. You and me are real, Kayla. I’m playing for keeps here.”
I watch as she takes it in. Her eyes are so expressive, I can see as each word I said hits her.
“Those are strong words,” she whispers.
“I’m prepared to back them up. Starting with putting my name on the tree for the first time,” I tell her, already turning to find a spot.
“Gray and CC added their names on here,” Kayla says, moving her hand over their names.
“Definitely. Gray said they did it on their wedding day. I’ll let you in on a secret.”
“What’s that?”
“Gray told me this is where the twins were conceived. I made him promise not to name one of them Oak or Leaf, though.”
“You boys talk about things like that more than old women,” Kayla chastises with a smile.
“Whatever. I’m just pointing out that the ground is obviously fertile. Maybe we should give it a try. Especially since we destroyed the bed last night.”
“Oh no. That’s not going to happen. With our luck, your entire family is lurking in the woods.”
“Kayla—”
“With cameras,” she adds.
I’d argue with her, but I can’t be completely positive she’s not right, so I let it go and instead concentrate on carving our initials in the tree.
“What do you think?” I ask her when I finish. She doesn’t look at me. She just stares at our initials and the heart that links them. “Your turn,” I urge her when she doesn’t make a move.
“I don’t need to,” she whispers, her fingers tracing over the roughly-hewn heart.
“It’s tradition, Buttercup. We can’t break it,” I answer, feeling a little foolish.
In answer, she takes my hand and pulls me to the side of the tree. I crouch down beside her as she pushes leaves and things away. There, carved in the old Oak right at the base of the tree, are three words that rock me to the core.
Kayla loves White.
CHAPTER 39
WHITE
“Kayla?” I ask, my voice sounding pitifully weak. Honest to God, there are few times in a man’s life that crushes his soul, robbing him of the ability to use words, thoughts, or even make a simple movement. Hell, the ability to function is completely gone now. It’s never happened to me before. Gray said the day CC told him she was having twins, he felt like this. Stupid-ass me thought he was exaggerating.
He wasn’t. If anything, he was understating everything, because I’m frozen solid where I’m standing.
“All those hours you accused me of daydreaming about Green…” she whispers, shaking her head.
“Kayla,” I squeak out again.
“It was never Green. Not since the night my best friend took me to the dance so I wouldn’t have to go alone. Not since that night when I discovered how it felt to be in your arms.”
Fuck. I’ve been a blind bastard.
“Sweetheart,” I whisper.
“White, don’t make—”
“Why didn’t you tell me, Kayla? In all this time, why didn’t you let me know you felt more for me?”
“Because, White. You were too important to risk losing.”
If I didn’t feel stupid before, I definitely do now. There’s this tightness in my heart and it feels like the room is spinning. Kayla loved me. She loved me years ago and I was too fucking stupid to realize it. I almost threw away the best thing in my life, and didn’t even know it. She almost married another man because I was so stupid.