Perfect Chaos(75)

He leaned over, picked up my track pants and then passed them to me. I quickly slipped them back on while he walked over to the desk, leaned against it, and crossed his ankles and arms.

I bit my lip. Shit, he looked sexy all satisfied and relaxed. I was also thinking despite the soreness between my legs that I’d like to wrap myself around him again.

“I was checked.”

“What? When?”

“When I left you at my loft after you told me about Robbie.” I spent hours sitting in his hallway waiting for him to come back. Band-Aid. He’d had a Band-Aid on his arm and then he fucked me for the first time. “You pay enough, you can have your results within hours. And Georgie, I’d never fuck you without being checked. You should know that.”

“Oh.” Wow. How could I love him any more than I already did? But I did.

He was standing in front of me and his hand was curled around the nape of my neck. He was gentle as he moved in and kissed the tip of my nose. “I’m not worried if you get pregnant. You’re with me and that isn’t ever changing.” He sighed and I felt his warmth ease my argument. “You don’t want kids, then we won’t.”

“Really? Just like that?”

He nodded. “Just like that.”

“I want to use condoms—for now.”

He nodded. “I’ll buy condoms.” He took my hand and headed for the door. “I’ll take you home. I’d keep you at my place but we’ll have to play our relationship down a bit. I don’t want this organization having a suspicion that I know about you working for Kai.”

I snorted. “Yeah, won’t be much of a play down if I’m suddenly fat and waddling around.”

He stopped dead and pulled me hard up against him. “Jesus. That image … my baby growing inside you … you fat and complaining about your feet.” His kissed me and it was sweet and warm and curled my toes. “I want that with you, Georgie.”

I stared up at this man I’d loved my entire life. I wanted that too, but not now. Not when everything was all fucked up. “Okay.”

He grinned and it was as if I gave him the light to his darkness with one word.

Then we were walking again.





DECK DROPPED ME off at home and for now, I was to do what I normally did and that meant pretending to drink while in public, go to work and flirt. I laughed when Deck said the word flirt as it came out in a ragged growl. I stopped laughing when he scowled, because he really looked in pain saying it and I liked my sweet Deck. There was one rule that came with the flirting—no touching. Not even a hand touch. Then he leaned over, opened my door and told me he loved me.


I watched him drive off, wondering if I’d ever get used to idea we were together. I opened the front door, plopped my bag of sweats and t-shirts on the floor and walked into the kitchen.

I turned on the light and stopped, the air sucking from my lungs. “Tanner. What are you doing here?” He never came here; it was too risky. Well, it had been too risky when Deck didn’t know about me. Did Tanner know that Deck knew? Would Kai have told him? I really didn’t think so.

He sat at the island, beer in hand, eyes glazed and red. He raised the bottle and tilted it slightly. “Ahhh, she finally comes home. Been waiting a while.”

There was a white dusting on the counter that looked like icing sugar, but there was not a chance Tanner was here baking a cake. From the look of him, his legs tapping up and down and his eyes red and a little wild, he was high on cocaine. Shit, he hadn’t touched the stuff since he was a kid. “Kai know you’re here?”

He shook his head and his untidy hair fell haphazardly over his eyes. “Nah … he doesn’t like us being friends. Says I’m too close to you.”

Yeah, that was something Kai would say, now more than ever. I sat on the stool beside him, touched his shoulder and squeezed. I had no idea what was going on with him, but it was bad. “You shouldn’t be here.” Jesus, Vic was looking for Tanner right now. I’d have to call Deck. I didn’t want to because I knew damn well what they’d do to him. But I also knew if Tanner was in the dark just as much as me, then they wouldn’t hurt him.

I was never afraid of Tanner. He’d always been good to me, but I also knew something was off with him and it wasn’t just the drugs. He was freaked out over something.

“That target you were getting info from his hard drive?” Tanner said.

“Lionel.”

He nodded while he stared down at his beer. “Dead.”

“Kai told me.” Actually, it had been Deck.

“I killed him.”

A wave of unease hit me and I swallowed then shifted so my feet were on the floor and not resting on the stool’s foot bar. Something didn’t sit right. Tanner’s hands on the beer were unsteady when he took a pull from it then set it down again. “Maybe I should call—”