Perfect Chaos(76)

He jerked up so fast, his barstool toppled over. “No.”

I jumped to my feet and took a step back. He looked at me, eyes wide and dancing from side to side, the whites lined with red. “What’s going on with you, Tanner? Why would you kill Lionel?”

“I finished your job for you.”

“Tanner, my job was to get his hard drive, not kill him.”

His breathing was ragged and he tapped his fingers insistently on his thigh. He was high as a kite and whatever he was scared of was making it worse. “They’re going to kill me. I’m next, you know.”

“Tanner.” I kept my voice soft and calm while giving a half-smile. “No one is going to kill you.” But an oil stain of dread started spreading in my stomach and I knew I had to call Deck ASAP. Tanner must know about the organization. But why would they come after him? Why now? Had they asked him to kill Lionel? “Let’s go sit down and I’ll make you something to eat.” And call Deck.

I led him into the living room and urged him to sit on the couch. I turned to go in the other room and make the phone call when he grabbed my arm. I looked down at his hand then up at his eyes, fear pounding through me. “Sweets, let me go. I’ll be back in a sec.”

His eyes hardened. “You’re calling him. Aren’t you?”

“No, I swear. I won’t call Kai.” His fingers tightened and I gritted my teeth. “Are you trying to break my arm, because you’re well on your way.” I yanked. He pulled—hard—and I fell into him.

“Deck. You’ve been with him since the hospital.” His hand went into my hair at the back of my neck. I tried to push away, but he curled his hand in the blue-tipped strands and yanked. “I smell him on you. Now, you’re fucking him? After all these years?”

What the hell was this? “Tanner, let me up.” His grip tightened and I didn’t think he really knew how hard with the drugs pumping through him. “Jesus, ease up.”

Instead of easing up, however, he pulled me closer and then his mouth slammed onto mine so hard our teeth hit. It was a sloppy, bruising kiss and my stomach churned, tasting the beer on his breath. My shoving him in the chest did nothing, and the hold he still had on my arm was so tight it felt as if he’d melded my skin and muscles to my bone.

His tongue pushed past my tight lips and he groaned. I bit down as hard as I could and Tanner vaulted back screaming, blood dripping from his mouth. I reacted, using the heel of my hand to jab him hard in the throat.

His eyes widened as he let me go, holding his throat and gasping for breath. I scrambled off his lap and fell to my knees. I got up and made it two-feet before I felt his weight crash into me and we both went sprawling to the hardwood floor. I kicked out for his kneecap and hit his shin, then I punched for this throat again, but he jerked back, ready for it. Tanner had been trained, too; he knew what I was going for and he also knew how to get the power position.

Tanner punched me so hard in the side of the face my vision blurred, and I froze for a second trying to get my bearings. He straddled me, his hands going for my throat and squeezing. My instinct was to react, but I relaxed in his hold, hoping he’d ease up so I could breathe.

He did and I wildly sucked in gasps of air.

“I’m the one who’s been there for you—not him. I know your secrets. I know what Robbie did to you.”

“Tanner. What the fuck are you doing?” I held onto his wrists. “Tanner, damn it. Don’t do this. We’re friends.” Well, not anymore. Kai was getting an earful about this shit.

He slammed my head into the floor and I hadn’t expected it, not that it would’ve made a difference. The jolt of pain shot down my spine right to my toes. He leaned in close and I gagged as his breath hit my face. “I watched you drool over that piece of shit for years. He’s nothing. He doesn’t even know who you are. I do. Me. He doesn’t deserve you. I do. I’ve watched out for you. I’m the one who made sure Robbie didn’t go too far. I’m the one who protected you. I’m there for you when you purge. Not him.”

Bile rose in my throat as his words echoed in my head over and over again. He’d made sure Robbie didn’t go too far? He was fuckin’ fourteen. “What the hell are you talking about?”

I lay limp beneath him, shock stalling my fight as I stared up at him. He killed Lionel. He had known about Robbie hurting me?

A slow smile emerged and my fear shot to another level. “It wasn’t easy for me either, knowing Robbie was cutting you and just standing on the sidelines—watching. But it had to be done. They needed you broken.”