Perfect Chaos(71)

“All of you.” Deck pounded. It was as if he couldn’t get deep enough.

His eyes were closed now, tightness around his lips as if he was in pain. Then his grip loosened and he let me go. My hands instantly went around him, and I felt the straining of his muscles as he held onto control.

His hand slid between us and he touched me. “Now, babe. Now.”

He flicked his finger over me several more times until my body let go. He put both hands on the mattress on either side of my head, giving him leverage and then he violently pumped into me a few more times before he joined me in the whirlwind of brilliance.

Deck took off the condom, tossing it aside before shifting onto his back, taking me with him so I was laying half on top of him. His arm was around me, the other linking our fingers together and resting on his chest. Both of us were silent for a few minutes, our chests rising and falling with our heavy breathing.

“I love you, Georgie.”

I tilted my head, looked up at him and smiled. It was a real smile, one which lit me up from the inside. “I’ve always loved you.”

A tiny flick of a grin before he said, “I know, baby.”

I tried to smack him in the chest, but his hand locked in mine and he wasn’t letting go. Then he did chuckle and brought me in closer as he hugged me. It wasn’t the hard, cold and unemotional Deck; this was the one who let me in to see a part of himself he hid from others.

And yeah, he probably did know I loved him from the beginning, even that day he broke my world apart. I had a feeling it was going to happen again, except this time, I had him.

I felt it before he even said anything. The way his muscles tensed, how he held me tighter to him, how his heart picked up speed beneath our hands locked together.

What I never expected were the words he spoke next.

“Connor’s alive.”





A ROAR OF emotions exploded all at once as I tried to comprehend what he’d said. I didn’t believe it and yet … Deck never lied.


I couldn’t control my breathing as I started hyperventilating. Deck sat up and brought me with him so I was facing him, straddling his lap. He cupped my chin and forced me to meet his eyes. “Breathe, Georgie. Deep breaths.”

I stared into his calm, steady gaze as he stroked my back and forced me to keep our eyes locked until I was breathing better. “Where is he?” It wasn’t ‘how was it possible’ or ‘why’; all I could think about was having my brother back. When could I see him? Hear his voice. Feel the touch of his hand as he ruffled my hair. I didn’t care how this was possible. Nothing mattered except that he was alive.

“I don’t know,” Deck said.

I scrambled for words, thoughts pounding me in drums of confusion and disbelief. “My parents. I have to call—”

He shook his head. “No, Georgie. They can’t know.” I went to argue, but his hand tightened on my chin and his eyes grew dark. “No.”

“But—”

Deck’s eyes said it all and I felt my stomach plummet. There was nothing good about Connor being alive.

“Oh, God. Deck. No. Please tell me he’s okay.” Tears filled my eyes as I imagined him burned beyond recognition, sitting in a hospital somewhere for the last ten years with no one with him. “You saw him die. You said he was in a vehicle you saw blown up.” I shivered as the questions and urgency to find answers swarmed me. “How did you find out?” Then I realized the timing of Deck telling me and Kai being here. “Kai? Kai knew about Connor? He told you?”

Deck looked a little uneasy as his hands stopped stroking my back. “Yeah, Kai knew. I had a suspicion for a while, but I wasn’t sure until a few weeks ago.”

I froze. “For a while? You’ve known for a while? You’ve known my brother has been alive for a while?” I repeated. I pushed on his chest and tried to climb off his lap, but he was ready for it and flipped me over onto my back so he was on top of me. “Get off me. Get the fuck off me, Deck.”

“No.”

I glared. He glared back.

“Damn it.” Tears filled my eyes. “God damn it, Deck. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You’re questioning me about not telling you shit? You hid shit from me for years. Years, Georgie.”

I clamped my mouth shut. Fuck. He was right, but I was reeling with confusion and so many questions, I wasn’t thinking straight. “I couldn’t,” I said quietly. “Kai said … he’d kill you.”

“And you think a threat like that would matter to me?”

“Damn it, Deck. It matters to me. You’re all I have.”

“That’s not true, Georgie.”