Outside the Lines(79)

“Felicity,” Ben says, air leaving his lungs in a whoosh. The umbrella goes slack in his hands when our eyes lock. He slows like he’s shocked to see me, like he’s not expecting to face the reality just yet either. He’s yards away and suddenly I can’t take it.

I run to him, rain rolling down my skin, heels splashing in puddles. He drops the umbrella and pulls me in, lips crushing against mine. He holds onto me like I’m the last woman in the world, like I’m the only one who can keep him together.

And I hold him even tighter.

“Ben,” I whisper, cupping my hands around his face. “What … why…” I stumble over my words. “You’re here.”

“I’m so sorry,” he says.

“No, don’t be. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything I said and I—”

He cuts me off with another kiss. He lifts me up and cradles my head into his face, kissing me as hard as he can. We break apart and move under the awning.

“I tried to call you,” he says, taking both my hands in his.

“My phone,” I start and realize I’m not even sure where it is. In the bridal sweet, I think.

“It’s okay,” he says. “I didn’t expect you to answer.”

I look at his handsome face, tears in my eyes. Was he really here? Did I imagine this, or maybe drink too much and pass out?

“Let’s talk,” Ben says and takes his jacket off, draping it around my shoulders. I pull it closed, scared talking might lead to a final goodbye. “I shouldn’t have left like that and—”

“And I shouldn’t have said those things,” I interrupt. “I’m sorry, Ben. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know,” he says and wraps an arm around me.

“I don’t really think you’re a man whore.”

He chuckles. “Good. And I never got the wrong impression about you. I can’t say I’ve never slept with someone after one date, but I’ve never felt so much passion for anyone before. You’re all I wanted, all I could think about.”

Past tense. Am I overanalyzing again? I close my eyes, pushing back tears. “That’s how I feel about you, and it scared me. Because I didn’t know why you’d feel the same about me. I’m not fancy or put together or on time for anything. I’m just a nerd. I’m not the kind of woman you deserve.”

“I don’t look at you and see a nerd or anything else. I look at you and see Felicity, a beautiful woman who isn’t afraid to let others dictate her life.” He puts his hand on the side of my cheek and tips my head up to him. “I don’t understand why you think you’re nothing special. I’ve never met anyone like you, and I don’t think I ever will again. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want a day to go by that I’m not kissing you, fucking you, waking up next to you and telling you I love you.”

“You really do love me?”

“I do.”

He kisses me, and warmth flows through my entire body. Everything disappears and it’s just us, wind, rain, and storm swirling in the distance.

“Why?” I ask, needing to know.

Ben gives me his famous grin. “Isn’t it obvious?”

I shake my head. “Not to me.”

“You don’t let anything stop you from doing what you love, from being who you are. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met. There’s so much to you, and it’s complex and complicated in the best way possible. And isn’t that what life is about? Coloring outside the lines. Pushing boundaries and testing limits. Not letting anything hold you back. That’s exactly what you are, what you’ve made me do. You are my outside the lines. And I love you.”

Tears prick the corners of my eyes. “I love you too.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you back,” he begins. “I listened to your message, and was going to, then Tuesday my dad fell.”

“Fell?”

“He forgets he needs helps walking and gets up out of his wheelchair. He fell and hit his head on the corner of his nightstand. He was rushed to the hospital, and had to stay at the hospital until Wednesday night. I was there until he got let out, and the cell service in the hospital is horrible. I should have taken a minute to call you, I know. But then too much time passed and I thought I blew my chance.”

“Your dad’s okay?”

“He will be. He’s bruised and sore, and has a few stitches. My mom was—well, still is—a mess though. The whole time I just wanted you there, even though I was pissed. Seeing my parents together, seeing my mom take care of my dad after all these years…it made me think. A lot. I know it’s not easy taking care of him. I know my mom’s life has been reduced to days and nights spend sitting in a chair in a nursing home next to a man who doesn’t always remember her name. She doesn’t have to do it, but she wants to.”