Out of Nowhere(10)

Today is her birthday. She would’ve been sixty. When I left the shop, Pop was already drunk, and Sam gave me a look that meant he knew what today is and we should let him be.

Even though I just got out of the shower, I’m already feeling sweaty and anxious, so I grab a beer to calm my nerves and cool me off.

In the second after the doorbell rings but before I pull the door open, this absurd image flashes through my head: Rafael standing there in a tuxedo, with a corsage in a plastic clamshell and a limo waiting in the background. Something is seriously wrong with me. Get it together, asshole.

Rafael is not wearing a tux. He’s wearing jeans that fit him perfectly, navy-and-gray New Balance classics, and a tight black T-shirt. With his hair pulled back, his prominent cheekbones make him look even more severe.

He sticks out a hand and at first I fumble, thinking he wants to shake, but he’s passing me a carton of Turkey Hill Cookies ’n Cream and I can’t help but smile at how much better than a corsage that is.

“Oh, awesome, thanks. C’mon in.”

As I close the door, though, there’s the disconcerting sound of a thump from behind me. I hit the bedroom door with Rafael right on my heel. Then from the closet comes a quiet mewling, and I relax. Beneath a newly fallen pile of towels, old shoes, and baseball caps is Shelby, scrabbling while wrapped up in a flannel shirt. Cradling the ice cream like a football in the crook of my arm, I pluck the kitten out of the mess and give it a pat on the head. When it launches itself off my chest to land on Rafael’s crossed arms, he looks startled, but quickly recovers, petting the cat until it purrs like a real Mustang.

“What’s your name?” he asks the cat. Why do people do that?

“I named it Shelby. You know, because of the stripe.”

Rafael’s raised eyebrows and blank look suggest he’s not familiar with the Shelby Mustang.

“It? Is it a boy or a girl?” he asks.

I shrug. Rafael clicks his tongue at the cat and flips it on its back in his hand.

“Girl,” he announces. Shelby rolls over and kneads Rafael’s chest with a deep purr. “She do that to you?”

“Huh?”

Rafael runs a warm finger down my forearm.

“Oh yeah. It—uh, she—just showed up the other night. Can’t let her go back out there yet. Too little.”

Rafael trails after me, Shelby still in his arms, as I stick the ice cream in the freezer, order pizza, and grab another beer.

“Want one?”

“No thanks.”

“Or I have whiskey if you want.”

“No, I don’t drink. Water would be good, though.”

Wow, I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t drink.

We sit on the couch with our drinks, Shelby now permanently attached to Rafael. He runs a finger over the kitten’s back, making her wriggle closer to him.

“She likes you more than me,” I joke.

“Maybe she doesn’t want to get attached if you’re not planning to let her stay.”

I laugh. “Yeah, she’s reading my mind. I wish. Then maybe she’d stop unrolling all the toilet paper.”

But Rafael isn’t smiling. “Animals can sense peace or anxiety, dedication or disinterest. They’re incredibly attuned to people’s moods. They pick up things we’re not even aware we’re transmitting.”

“Transmitting? Man, you make it sound like a radio or something.”

“I think it kind of is like a radio. The way our feelings and thoughts are expressed without words. It’s not mind reading. If you pay attention, you get better at it. Animals do it automatically because they don’t have the option of verbal communication.” He looks strangely comfortable on my couch, talking about animal radios and shit. I’m never that relaxed on my own damn couch.

“You, for example,” he says, and I tense. “Not hard to read. You’re anxious about what I want to talk to you about but you think you owe me something because I saved your ass the other day.” His version of a smile is just small enough to move his mouth to neutral.

“I would’ve been fine,” I say automatically. “Um, so what do you want to talk to me about?”

He sits up a bit straighter, slowly, so he doesn’t dislodge Shelby.

“I work with an organization in North Philly that does programming for youth in the neighborhood. Giving them activities and a safe space so they stay off the streets. We have after-school programs, sports, art and music programs, mentorship and counseling. And on Saturdays we have drop-in hours all day, but we try to also schedule some special programs. Workshops on things the kids might be interested in, performances, demonstrations, that kind of thing.”