Out of Nowhere(119)
“Colin,” he says, his voice shaky. I nod at him and he grabs my shoulder. DeShawn had a lot of trouble over the last few months. A bunch of family issues arose, and his uncle was concerned about his mental health and turned to Rafe for some support. Since DeShawn is eighteen, Rafe felt okay being involved, and they’d ended up talking a lot about DeShawn’s future, and what he hoped for if he got into MIT. Rafe’s pride in DeShawn is radiating from him. He’s practically glowing.
He pulls me to him and buries his face in my neck. My arms come around him automatically and I hold him tight. Then he tilts my chin up gently and kisses me. Just a light brush of our lips, but his thumb strokes my cheekbone and he’s looking into my eyes like he doesn’t see anything else at all.
And suddenly it goes dead quiet except for the pulsing backbeat from the stereo.
“Um….”
“Uh….”
“So….”
The kids who already knew about Rafe and me are grinning. The others are staring at us and looking around at each other.
“Oh. My. God. I totally called it!”
“Dude, me too—I knew it!”
“Um, yeah, we all knew it.”
“But—”
“And—”
Then it’s just more clapping and squealing and the kids are bouncing around us. Someone has thrown their arms around us in an excited hug. Someone has turned the music up and the kids are dancing. Someone has thrown glitter up in the air and it’s falling down on us like rain.
Through the backbeat and the nail polish and the goddamned glitter, Rafe puts his hands on my shoulders and my eyes find his. He holds me there, at arm’s length, like we’re kids at a middle school dance. But his smile is as warm as I’ve ever seen it. His dark hair falls around his face and his skin glows against the collar of his white T-shirt and he’s looking at me like I’m the only thing in the world.
“Hey,” I say, “Rafe. Move in with me.”
Rafe freezes for a moment, then relaxes. “I basically already live there,” he says over the music, his eyes dancing. I roll mine and look at him expectantly. He pulls me into a hug and I press my nose into his neck, breathing him in.
“So? What do you say?”
His laugh is pure joy. “Do we have nail polish remover at home?”
Afterword
DECARCERATION REFERS to the process of ending mass incarceration in the United States, acknowledging the entrenched political, historical, and social systems that produced it, addressing the damage it has done to our communities, and investing resources in alternatives.
If you’re interested in learning more about decarceration, prison education and literacy programs, or queer youth programs like those mentioned in Out of Nowhere, here are some places to start:
Check out Michelle Alexander’s book, The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness (www.goodreads.com/book/show/6792458-the-new-jim-crow).
Decarcerate PA (www.decarceratepa.info) is a grassroots campaign working to end mass incarceration in Pennsylvania.
In the Philadelphia area? Books Through Bars (booksthroughbars.org) distributes free books and educational materials to prisoners. You can volunteer and donate books or money. Not near Philadelphia? Find a similar program near you at Prison Book Program (prisonbookprogram.org).
The Attic Youth Center (www.atticyouthcenter.org) is an independent LGBTQ+ youth center in Philadelphia. Visit their website for more information and to donate, or you can find a community center in your area at www.lgbtcenters.org/Centers/find-a-center.aspx.