One Regret(9)

As William stormed away from the table, his siblings all exchanged a look. I felt completely out of place among them. Jean left the table only seconds later and Bill begrudgingly went after her.

“I’m sorry, what’s so special about today?” I asked Cessily quietly, hoping the others wouldn’t overhear.

“I assume William told you about our brother, Chris?” Cessily had unshed tears in her eyes. “Today is the 25 year anniversary of the day he disappeared. We decided to meet on this mountain because our family used to vacation here every year. It was one of Chris’ favorite places.”

“Well, shit.” That explained a lot. It explained why William had been so nostalgic and willing to share with me. It explained why his whole family was gathered on a random weekend in January. And it explained why Jean was so angry about my presence. “I so don’t belong here.”

“Oh, Olivia. No. Don’t let Jean get to you.” Cessily squeezed my hand. “William needs you here. You’re the only person in 25 years that he has let into his life. Please don’t go.”

I was conflicted. This was clearly an important weekend for the family, and they didn’t need a stranger poking around, making things awkward. But Cessily seemed so sincere, and William was on the edge. I couldn’t exactly leave him now.

“I’m going to see if he’ll talk to me. Excuse me.” I stopped by the kitchen and grabbed two glasses and bottle of scotch. If ever an occasion called for no ice, this was it.

I checked the first floor and came up empty. William’s bedroom was also deserted, but the door leading out to the deck was cracked open. I found him leaning over the railing, staring down the side of the mountain.

“Don’t jump.” I noticed that his shoulders sagged at the sound of my voice.

“Because you would miss me too much?” His voice sounded impossibly sad.

I set the glasses on the railing and opened the bottle of scotch. “Yes, but also because then I would have to drink alone. And that’s just pathetic.”

I poured two fingers worth into each glass and handed one to William. He laughed as he took the glass and my heart jumped at the sound of his laughter. Seeing him so tortured was misery for me.

“Sorry about the freak out downstairs.” He took a long, slow drink.

“Please. That was nothing.” I leaned against him until he put his arm around me. His body was warm and I was freezing in his t-shirt. I burrowed against him and held him tight. “You forgot to mention the whole anniversary thing to me. That was an unpleasant surprise.”

“Yeah… sorry about that. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you that part.” William pressed his lips to my head, just at the hairline. They grazed lightly over the faded scar that ran all the way to my ear- a gift from Paul.

“It’s okay. We all have scars we try to hide,” I said.

“Indeed.” He trailed kisses along the scar until his lips reached my ear. “I have something else I want to tell you, Livy.”

“I’m listening.” I really hoped he didn’t have another dead sibling. I didn’t think I could handle another revelation that deep.

William went even deeper. “I’m in love with you.”

I literally stopped breathing. The silence was deafening. At least in Chicago when you can’t think of what to say, the city provides a nice soundtrack of traffic and people. At the top of a mountain, the only thing you hear is your inner voice, screaming at you to say something.

“Anyway,” William said, coughing uncomfortably. “I just thought you should know that.”

“I’m glad you told me.” I wanted to smack myself in the forehead.

“We should go back inside.” William’s arm slipped away and I was overwhelmed by the cold. “I’ll start a fire.”

“William, wait!” I stopped him at the door. Suddenly, I heard my friend Lana’s voice, telling me not to have any regrets. The old lady from the airport was back, too, yelling at me not to fuck up this moment. “Me, too.”

His head cocked uncertainly and I reached for him, wrapping my arms around his neck and lifting up on my tiptoes so that my face was level with his. “I’m in love with you, too.”

William exhaled as if he had been holding his breath for days. “Thank Christ,” he said with a relieved smile. “This night was about to get really awkward.”

I laughed and kissed him hard. “Let’s get that fire started.”

We started plenty of fires the next couple of days, both in the fireplace and in the bed. William seemed determined to spend the minimum amount of time with his family. He even convinced me to attempt to ski, but after falling for the fifth time, I called it quits. Just a few minutes after I returned to the house, William showed up. He claimed that the runs were too icy, but eventually confessed that he missed me. We both knew that when we got back to Chicago, we had to resume our real lives. William would go back to being my boss and our relationship would be a secret again.