One Regret(10)

On our final night in Utah, I forced William to stay downstairs with the rest of the family. His family might hate me, but they loved him. And I suspected that deep down, William loved them, too.

I backed into the far corner of the room, nursing my glass of wine and watching the Connors behave in a semi-functional manner. Bill and Bob were watching a football game on television. Tina was buried in her phone like always. William was crouched on the floor, playing a made-up game with his niece and nephew. The game involved both monster trucks and Barbies, and as I watched William tickle his niece, I felt a little weak in the knees. If I hadn’t already admitted it to myself, that would’ve been the moment that I realized I was madly in love with William Connor.

“It’s not fair, is it?” Cessily snuck up on me, waving a full bottle of wine. I held out my glass for a refill.

“What’s not fair?”

“Him.” She nodded at William. “He’s smart. Funny. Runs a ridiculously successful company. And even though he’s my little brother, I have to admit he’s handsome. On top of all that, he’s probably the best guy I know.”

I took down half of my wine glass. “Tell me about it.”

Cessily smiled. “You’re in love.”

I glared at her, but her smile was contagious. “I didn’t stand a chance against the charming William Connor.”

Cessily looked at William, then at her mother. Jean had been sitting quietly in a chair near the window, watching her grandchildren. At least, that’s what I had thought. But now that I looked closer, I saw that she was actually watching William.

“I know Jean has been terrible to you, and there’s no excuse for that. But she’s more damaged than anyone knows.” Cessily took a swig out of the wine bottle. “What happened with Chris, it nearly destroyed our family. We were all a mess, but our mother lost her son. Her little boy.”

She looked at me earnestly. “To make it so much worse, she still had Will. This exact duplicate of the boy she lost. A painful reminder every day of what had been taken from her. For the first couple of years, she would sometimes call him Christopher. It would just slip out of her mouth. It traumatized Will, but it nearly killed Jean.”

“That’s horrible. I hadn’t thought about it that way.” Poor William. For the last 25 years he had been living with the shadow of his dead brother hanging over him. I even began to feel sorry for Jean.

“I catch her watching him,” Cessily said. “Even now, it’s like she can still see Chris sitting there next to Will.”

William sensed that he had an audience and he glanced up, a perfect smile on his face. I smiled back, wishing we were alone so that I could take him in my arms and work to erase those years of pain. I suddenly felt that I was being watched as well, and when I looked at Jean, she wasn’t glaring at me. She caught my eye and very slightly nodded her head. For Jean, it was the equivalent of a giant bear hug.

I crouched next to William and he ran a tender hand over my cheek. “What’s with the grin?” he said.

“I think your mother is warming up to me.” He raised an eyebrow at that. “Plus, you look adorable holding that Barbie.”

William actually blushed. “I’m getting in touch with my feminine side.”

“Uncle Will. Stop talking and put this dress on Barbie.” William’s niece, Callie, thrust a pink dress into her uncle’s handle. William frowned and stared blankly.

“What’s wrong? Were you hoping for something strapless instead?” I couldn’t help but tease him.

William lowered his voice and leaned close. “I’m really only good at the undressing part,” he said with a wink. “This isn’t exactly playing to my strengths.”

“Men.” I shook my head at his niece and took both Barbie and the dress. “They are so helpless sometimes.”

Callie giggled and rolled her eyes at him. “You’re helpless, Uncle Will,” she agreed.

After the kids had gone to bed and the adults were done playing nice, William cornered me in the kitchen and made me pay for my teasing. “You turned Callie against me,” he said with exaggerated seriousness. “That really hurt.”

“I had no idea you were so sensitive.” I feigned remorse. “I promise to never tease you for playing with Barbies again.”

“I think you are missing the point here,” he said.

“Just be glad our relationship is a secret at work. Otherwise I would totally have taken a picture and sent it to everyone at Gravity.” I smiled sweetly.

“Oh, is that how we’re going to play this?” William’s smile was pure evil. “I’m pretty sure I could have taken some incriminating photos of you as well.”