Obsession, Loving An Alpha Male(20)

“Wait, Josh, oh God I…”

The panic in her voice felt like someone poured cold water all over him. He moved back from her as quick as he could, his eyes wide as he raked them over her. To see the state she was in, red marks traveling down her chest, her breast red and her lips swollen, her shirt torn and… shit.

Josh reached for her wrists and saw how red they were.

“Oh fuck, Summer, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to be… Oh fuck…”

Josh ran his hands over his head and closed his eyes. He started to move toward her, then stopped unable to look her in the eyes.

Summer stared and didn’t move at first, then finally she said, shaking her head, “No, Josh, it’s okay, really. I’m…”

“No God damn it, it’s not okay. After everything you’ve been through, I go and I lose control like that.”

Josh closed his eyes and shook his head. He was completely ashamed of himself. He lost control and ruined the best chance of his life.

Summer shook her head and moved closer to him. She held her shirt over her breasts with one hand and the other went to touch him on his arm, but he moved back from her.

“Listen, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you, God, baby, I’m…” Josh closed his eyes again then moved quickly to the door, unlocked it and left without another word.

He couldn’t get away from her fast enough. To think he’d been trying to get her to trust him, to see that she was safe with him, and he singlehandedly fucked it up in only a matter of minutes. He lost control and became the very person he was trying to save her from.

“Fuck!!!!!!”








After days of contemplating on what to do and telling himself he was no good for her, Josh realized he needed to let her go. She deserved better than he could ever be for her, no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise. The fact that he just received word that he had to travel to D.C for work made things even more clear. He wasn’t sure when he would be back, if at all, so saying goodbye was evident.

He knew he needed to talk to Summer immediately, but he first had to talk himself into believing that not returning was for the best. He knew he would never be the same without her, but at least he could save her from himself. He still decided to make sure her ex would no longer be a factor, but he wouldn’t be the white knight riding in to save her. He would make sure she never found out it was him that freed her.

A clean break was what he needed, so when she called that night to say she was home, he decided to set her free.

“How was work today?” He asked her.

He didn’t know what else to say to her since he really hadn’t been saying much of anything the past few days.

Summer answered softly, “It’s been fine. What about you?”

“It’s fine actually. I’ve found the people I was looking for pertaining to my case, and I’m about to wrap up everything soon. I uh… have to go out of town for work, so before I go I was hoping I could take you to dinner tomorrow night so we could talk. That is, if you’re not working.”

He heard her take a few deep breaths, but when she spoke, he could hear the tremors in her voice.

“Um no, I’m actually off tomorrow and the following night, so I’m free. Well, I do have something to do tomorrow night, but I think we can meet.”

Josh frowned and was about to ask her what she had to do but stopped himself.

He sighed too, however, and said as upbeat as he could, “Sounds good. So is six o’clock, okay?”

“Yes, that’s fine. Do you want to meet or will you pick me up?” she asked.

“I’ll pick you up.”

They said their goodbyes, and as she hung up, he fought the urge to hurl his phone against his living room wall.





Chapter 9


Kenya


For the life of me I can’t understand how I ended up at Finn’s after I hung up with Josh, but there I was. I was nursing a drink that Joy made for me, and I sat in the corner at the bar, watching her work.

I was hoping if I drank a little, I would be able to make sense of what happened in my apartment four days ago and what to expect from Josh tomorrow. I had run that night over and over in my head, and I still hadn’t figured out what happened. At first I thought, oh my God he knows everything. But I quickly down played that. I mean, how could he? If he knew everything, he would have already confronted me about it. No, he freaked out for something else, and since that day I hadn’t seen him to ask why.

Joy finally got a chance to come and talk to me on one of her breaks. She made herself a drink and waited for me to spill my guts.

She already knew that Josh hadn’t been around for the last four days, but I hadn’t told her completely what happened. I just told her he was working a whole lot, and our schedules were conflicting. Now though, I needed her help. I can’t and won’t let Josh go.

No way.

He’s mine.

“So what’s going on with you, chica? You’re never here on your day off,” Joy said, leaning on the bar next to me.

I sighed deeply. “I have a confession to make.”

“Okay,” Joy added, snatching up my glass and taking the rest of my drink down.

She made me another while I spoke.

“Josh hasn’t been ignoring me because of work, something happened.”

Joy’s eyebrows rose, but she didn’t speak. I took another deep breath and told her what happened. I explained everything and in great detail. I was even feeling little hot under the collar while I was giving her the play by play.

Joy stood up slightly and looked at me, “Okay that sounds like everything was going the way it should. Why did you stop him?”

I looked down at my drink and threw it back quickly.

When I slammed the glass down I blurted, “I’m not that experienced with men, and I freaked. I felt like he wouldn’t want me if he found out.” Joy looked at me first, then burst out laughing. “You don’t have to laugh so hard,” I said and rolled my eyes.

When she looked up at me she stopped laughing, but the smirk wasn’t gone.

“I’m sorry, it’s just so like you. Because you haven’t been with a lot of guys you think what, he wouldn’t want you?”

“It’s more to it than that, Joy. I mean…”

Joy shrugged. “Not every girl is experienced with men. And ‘quiet as kept’ sex isn’t that hard to figure out.”

I sighed, frustrated. “It’s more to it than that, Joy.”

Joy looked in my eyes for a minute then shook her head as she said, “I just think you’re over thinking things. Look Sweetness, I’m sure Josh will understand that you aren’t experienced. I know how much you want to please him, but trust me, you’ll figure it out. Just do what you’ve done in the past, and I’m sure…”

“Joy, that’s just it,” I interrupted, placing my hand over hers. “I haven’t done anything in the past. Don’t you get it?” I paused and looked at her. I waited for her to really take in what I was saying to her. When things finally clicked, her eyes went wide. I nodded. “Yeah.”

Joy put her free hand to her mouth for a minute while she just looked at me.

She then shook her head and said, not moving her hands from her mouth so it came out more of a mumble than tangible words. “You’re a virgin?”

I nodded.

She then smiled like I was a freaking fluffy kitten and covered my hand with hers and squeezed.

“Oh my goodness, you are sweet, Sweetness.”

I snatched my hand from hers.

“Fuck you, Joy.”

Joy’s eyes went wide.

“Oh my, you have some teeth about you, too.”

I rolled me eyes. “Can you stop making fun of me and help me? I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure what happened or what I did wrong. I admit I was startled a little bit when he had my hands above my head. But the look in his eyes took away any fear and doubt. I wanted nothing more but to explore with him so I just…I stopped him to tell him I was a… you know…” I looked around conspiratorially first then continued. “But I don’t know, he started freaking out saying he was sorry for hurting me. I didn’t understand at the time, and for the longest I’ve been trying to figure it out but now, as I sit here talking to you, I think I get it.”

Joy nodded. “Yeah, Sweetness, he thought that maybe he was too rough, and it was freaking you out.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I know, but I’ve tried to talk to him. I tried to tell him that night that I rather…” I looked around again to make sure no one was eavesdropping, then I said softly, “I really liked what he was doing, you know. I mean, he had me pinned up against the wall, and he was aggressive and demanding. I was so turned on, Joy… I don’t know if it’s sick or not, but I rather liked how aggressive he was.”

Joy leaned close to me. “Okay, what is the extent of your experience or lack of…? I mean, how far have you gotten? Has a guy fingered you before, or ate you out, or even sucked on your tits …”

I shook my head frantically, then looked around.

I said softly, “Well, yeah, a little... So, okay… So Wayne and I used to go to the same college and remember I had a crush on him right? Well, one night I practically threw myself at him.”