Never Been Nerdy(82)
Dean stares through me and I’ve never felt so alone, so useless. His eyes get brighter almost, and for that split second our gazes meet and it’s like he can see through every single cell I have, every secret, every thought.
“What makes you think I’m going to let you hurt me like that again? Because I’m going to make our time together so epic, so awesome, it’s going to be the best time of your life. I promise you that.”
“People change, Dean!” I yell, panicked. My breath comes in hard and fast and this is so important, more important than work, more important than my family, then what happened to my parents. He needs to understand.
“People change and then they realize they want different things, they want different people ten, fifteen, twenty years from now. I don’t want to do that to my kids; fuck, I don’t even know if I want kids!”
Dean smirks. “That’s okay. Kids are a huge responsibility. I mean, the boys take up so much of my time, and having a human kid is super hard. I’d rather you lavish your attention on me a hundred percent of the time.”
My mouth pops open, and I just stare at him. “What aren’t you understanding? I’m going to hurt you, just like last time.”
“I think the reaction I would get now from women and me being only in my Star Wars boxers would be entirely different from back then. Of course, there’s only one person I want looking at my Star Wars boxers and she just happens to be sitting right next to me.”
“You’re making me angry.”
“Bruce Banner kind of angry?”
“I understood that reference.”
He smirks, and rubs his mouth with his hand. “Then you know that what you just said is also a reference.”
“You lost me.”
“Awesome. Let’s watch Galaxy Quest.”
I push at his big body, settled on my couch. Potter makes a sleepy sigh noise in my lap and I’m careful to keep my weight even on the couch so I don’t give him a heart attack mid-sleep.
“You have to leave. Potter can stay.”
“Oh, I see how it is, keeping the dog over me. I’m offended. Truly. I might have to go on a quest to win your love, slay a dragon. Do you know of any dragons around town?”
I’m shaking my head, just keep doing it until maybe this will all make sense.
“We’re already doing couple-shit. So eat up, and gimme your remote so we can get this flick started.”
“What if I don’t want to watch Galaxy Quest?”
“Then I’d have to ask you what else you have in mind.”
I narrow my eyes at him, trying to puzzle all this out. What is going on here?
“Are you trying to be sexy?”
“Is it working?” he grins.
“Not completely. You’re trying too hard.”
Dean nods like this makes sense. “So you like me cute and cuddly and just being little ol’ me?”
“Yeah, I mean… maybe…”
Dean grins and moves in to give me a kiss on the cheek. I move my face faster than the speed of light and get our mouths connected for a glorious few moments, feel the heat pool in my lower belly, my panties suddenly too abrasive against my most sensitive skin.
Dean groans, a deep rumbling sound coming out of him, almost like a cat’s purr. He somehow leans in closer, pushing me back against the armrest, moving forward, over me – just where I need him to be.
Until a panicked Yorkie yelp crash-lands the whole thing and we’re both two feet apart now, breathing hard enough like we’ve just been saved from death by drowning.
“I’m sorry,” he says, and I notice he’s blushing. I eye the way his back and arm fill out the fabric of his t-shirt, the plain white cotton a beautiful complement to his skin. I wonder how many bench-presses he can do by using me instead of the barbell. I’m betting at least a hundred.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I started it.”
Dean’s body tenses up, like he’s waiting for the gunshot to get him to start the race. “Potter, come here. C’mon boy, come over here,” Dean coaxes with a soft voice.
Potter curls up in a tighter ball and promptly closes his eyes and falls asleep in my lap.
“You’ve been dog-blocked.”
“I wish this was easier with you. I wish you’d just believe me.”
I swallow, and keep my attention on the TV.
Tim Allen comes on screen with an absurd mullet haircut, and I try to listen to the words, the dialogue, try to completely forget that a Viking is sitting next to me, and he’s asking me the one thing that I cannot give him – my heart.
He doesn’t know I don’t have one.
***
“Katie,” Dean whispers, nudging me awake.