Never Been Nerdy(66)

In a nest of velvet, a rose gold band sits with a black diamond sitting oh-so-pretty on it, surrounded by little white diamonds.

Totally going to pass out.





Chapter 19





“What?!” I screech, somewhere between a vulture and a seagull. I don’t know what to feel first.

I’m a chemical reaction too big, too strong to stay in one place; I need to run miles and miles, and I also need to stay right where I am, because this is happening.

MacLaine’s going to propose to Sera and I’m so insanely jealous it’s choking me.

Why? I couldn’t even say, but I’m strangled by the green-eyed monster and I’m appalled by myself and everything I’m feeling.

That was supposed to be me. I was supposed to be the one that got married first.

And therein lies the problem. What gives you the right to think that you’re better than anyone else, that you deserve what Hunter and Sera have?

You can’t have both worlds, DiNovro... Scorn love one second, and then get jealous when your best friend gets engaged. The world doesn’t work that way.

“Are you okay?” Hunter asks me in that sexy as fuck voice of his, but I’ve gone deaf and only see his mouth moving before my brain catches up and puts sound to words. I’m totally sure this is what a hot flash feels like, burning from the inside out; I’m completely humiliated about the way I’m feeling and MacLaine has no idea what’s going on.

He even comes closer but looks unsure if I need a reassuring hand on the shoulder or something like it. I don’t want him to touch me, I don’t know what I’ll do if he does, and that scares the shit out of me.

“I’m good. Just surprised. Really surprised.”

Hunter’s eyebrows pole-vault high on his forehead and the way he looks at me makes me wonder if I actually told him to fuck off instead.

“How could you be surprised? Of course I want to marry her.”

I shake my head, all my stupid, shitty, asshole thoughts pummeling their way up my throat so I can give voice to them. This is such utter bullshit. I’m acting like a stupid little kid and I’m twenty five years old!

What the hell?

“I don’t know. I guess I’m in shock. It’s not something Sera’s ever seriously talked about, you know? I was always the one bringing up the conversation when we were younger, planning out our whole lives, living next to each other. Our husbands are supposed to be best friends, our kids growing up like cousins.” I gulp when I see his face. Might as well have electrocuted him, the poor sap looks completely paralyzed by what I’ve said.

“Ah, look, I mean, she just seriously never thought she was going to get married. Ever. Her family did a number on her, and then she internalized it and maybe made it a thousand times worse. To her, marriage wasn’t an option; it didn’t exist for someone like her.”

Oh, shit, shit, shit! He’s going to kill me!

Tell Dean I loved him once. Tell Dean he deserves a better friend than me! That’s my dying wish!

“What?” Hunter asks, the words laced with a slice of danger that has me swallowing hard. I’m legit scared enough that my knees threaten to buckle and I can’t feel my toes, or feet, or the ground beneath me.

“You still don’t know that much about what her family did to her, do you? The verbal abuse? The name-calling? How they made her feel worthless?”

MacLaine’s looking at me like none of this sounds familiar. Well... shit. I may have ruined this for Sera, and if she ever finds out, I’m toast.

“Are you saying she’ll tell me no?”

“I’m just saying this is going to come out of left field for her. She won’t know what’s happened and maybe she’ll freak out. But she loves you,” much against my better judgement, but what the hell do I know, anyway? “and she’ll say yes. Of that, I’m positive.” I nod to add some conviction to my words.

MacLaine grins suddenly and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

Oh, God, pretty sure I saw my life flash before my eyes – and it wasn’t a spectacular movie set, either. Just a lot of days spent at the office, working hard, getting paid, and trying to buy things that give me some minor feeling of pride and happiness. No one to come home to, no one to laugh with all because of this fear I have of being my mother’s daughter.

“So I was thinking about this one. You like it?”

No, not at all. But what the hell am I supposed to say? The ring says Sera Delos and that’s all that matters. Plus, it reminds me of the ring she wore the night they got back together a month and a bit ago.

“Damn, son, someone’s got skills in the memory department.” I nod to the ring. Yeah, Sera’s going to love it and then fangirl all over the place. Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to see it – then again, maybe not.