Nerd Girl(110)

I nodded in agreement.

“As for my mom and Lauren, I’ll set up something so that you have the chance to meet them.”

“I know your mom knows about us, but does Lauren?”

“Yeah, she does,” he said with a nod. “It’s sort of difficult to hide a broken engagement from your sister.”

I nodded in understanding. The idea of meeting them made me nervous. Lauren, Catherine, and his mom were close. They had a shared history together. I wasn’t sure how receptive they were of me entering Ryan’s life. What if they thought I was a homewrecker?

Ryan saw my uncertainty and tried to reassure me, squeezing me closer to him. “Once they get to know you, they’ll see how happy you’ve made me and come to love you, too,” he said with gentle confidence.

I wasn’t as confident as he was, but I had to trust him for now.

I decided to focus on the positive. He was sharing information about me to his friends! I wasn’t a shameful secret, which is what I think I was actually afraid of. Secrets meant things were temporary. I wanted to know that he was proud to be with me. He basically told me just now that I had nothing to worry about and I felt silly for even thinking I did. I was glad that I had brought it up, though. It had been nibbling at me for quite some time, and I had no idea how much it weighed on me until the weight had been removed.

I climbed onto his lap, straddling him, and held his face between my hands. I kissed him gently and thoroughly. He was already growing hard, so I rubbed myself up against him, causing his breath to hitch. His hands were already inside my camisole, heating and caressing my skin. His thumbs brushed over my already hardened nipples and a moan escaped my lips. He quickly pulled my camisole up over my head and flipped me over onto my back in one single move. My book fell to the floor. He hovered over me and moved his lips downward. I sighed in anticipation.





I worked from home again today. This time, I didn’t even pretend to work, but I did look into the MS procurement and vendor policies. I also looked into what was required to get my own business license. The more and more I thought about it, the idea of becoming a yellow badge temporarily, until I knew what my next career move would be, was looking more and more attractive.

As I read through websites on how to set up my own small business, my phone rang. It was Ryan.

“Miss me already?” I teased him. It wasn’t even noon yet.

“Always,” he said.

“What’s going on?” I asked, pouring myself another cup of coffee.

“Catherine called me this morning.”

My body stilled. I was glad he wasn’t able to see my physical reaction and surprise. “What did she want?” I asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. I held my breath, waiting for him to continue.

“She asked if I could meet her for an early dinner tonight. I didn’t think we had any set plans, so I said yes. Are you okay with that?”

No, I wasn’t, but I didn’t want to sound like a jealous girlfriend. “Did she say why?”

“She just said that she really needed to talk to me about something that was better said in person. She didn’t sound too good. I’m a little worried about her. Since I’m responsible for what she’s going through right now, I feel obligated to see how she’s doing and just make sure she’s okay; that she’s taking care of herself, you know?”

“When you break up with someone, isn’t it easier for them if you don’t put more salt on the wound?” I asked him carefully.

“Yeah, I hear you. But, Julia, she sounded really … off somehow. I feel that I owe her this. I hope you can understand.”

“I do, Ryan. Do what you think you need to do.” I nodded even though he couldn’t see me, trying to convince myself that I was okay with this. I told myself that I was glad he was being so upfront with me. Even though I wasn’t happy about him seeing Catherine again so soon, the last thing I wanted to do was make him regret opening up to me about it.

“I’ll make it an early dinner, so that you and I can still spend a part of the evening together, yeah?” he suggested, trying to sound reassuring.

“Okay, sure. I’ll see you later tonight then.”





I spent a quiet evening alone at home instead of going out while Ryan was gone. I think the last time I spent a Friday night at home was before I had started my new job, which was only a few weeks ago, but it felt like a year. It’s amazing how much my life has changed in such a short period of time.

I was a little tense, knowing that my boyfriend was having dinner with his ex-fiancé. I trusted him, but I wasn’t sure I trusted her. I couldn’t help thinking that there was something more to this dinner than Catherine just having a hard time with the break up. I guess I could’ve called up Anna to hang out, but since I was feeling a bit melancholy, I opted to just take a bubble bath. I poured myself a glass of red wine and took a big first gulp, then laid back and closed my eyes.