Nerd Girl(109)

“So, do you and Will talk about stuff other than work?” I asked, continuing to play with his hair. “Are you guys friends?”

“Yeah, Will and I are good friends.” He didn’t seem to think anything of my question. He looked as content as a cat sitting on a windowsill.

“When you say ‘good friends,’ does that mean you socialize with him outside of work?”

“Yes.” Ryan turned his head to look up at me, now eyeing me curiously. “We go out for drinks every once in a while. I’ve taken him and his wife out on the boat before. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious,” I said. I wondered if Catherine had gone out with them on the boat.

“I can tell there’s something else behind your question, Julia. You’re being so coy about it, but you don’t have to be. Just ask me. What is it you want to know?” he asked me with an amused grin.

I started to play with the folded corner of my book. I had a habit of folding corners for bookmarks. “Well, I’m curious … if you and Will are as good of friends as you say, have you told him about us?” I met Ryan’s eyes, but before he could respond, I continued, “I mean … does he qualify as one of those people who we can’t tell about our relationship? I’ve never met him, but if he’s a good friend of yours, shouldn’t I have the right to meet him on some future social occasion? Or vice versa, he probably would want to know about me, right? Did he know about Catherine and you? He probably did; you guys were together for a really long time. I guess I’m just confused about how and who I or we can discuss our relationship with. I mean, of course I wouldn’t say anything to someone like Mia or Kyle, but maybe after I find another job, would you be okay if I were to discretely tell some of my good friends at MS about us?”

All of this came out in an endless ramble. I wasn’t even sure I had made any sense, but as soon as I asked the first question, it was like a dam broke and everything from my brain came rushing out of my mouth.

Surprisingly, Ryan didn’t flinch, nor did he look irritated. He looked perplexed and thoughtful. He sat up and leaned against the headboard. “It sounds like you’ve been thinking about this a lot,” he said softly.

I let out a deep breath. I guess I hadn’t realized I was holding it all inside of me. “I don’t know how I fit into your life, Ryan.” I paused, but decided it was best to come clean. “You and Catherine disclosed your relationship to a small circle of people at MS. I guess I need to know what our small circle is, both at work and outside of it. If this was just a fling, I would be discrete and keep it to ourselves, but everything we’ve experienced together these last few weeks leads me to believe that we’re both in it for the long haul. Not talking about you, about us, to my friends sort of cheapens our relationship. And as for your family, to be honest with you, I feel very inadequate. They’ve known and loved Catherine almost your whole life. I don’t want to be too presumptuous here, but how do I even become a part of that inner circle when I feel like I’ve come and crashed the party?”

Ryan wrapped one arm over my shoulder and pulled me in close to him. I breathed in his fresh-out-of-the-shower scent. Despite all the questions still floating unanswered in my head, I couldn’t help relaxing into his arms. “I’m sorry, Julia. I guess I hadn’t really thought about all of this stuff yet.” He gave me an apologetic smile. “Men, right?”

I returned his smile with a wry one.

“You know,” he said, looking at me from under his eyelashes. “I did tell Will about you.”

“Really?” I asked incredulously. I hadn’t expected to hear that.

“Yeah, really.” The corners of his lips turned up slowly. “You’re important to me. I love you. You’re all I think about. Sitting there with Will, all I wanted to do was run home to be with you.” He chuckled at my surprised expression.

“What did you tell him about me?”

“He was surprised to hear that Catherine and I broke up. I didn’t get into all the details with him, but I told him only the truth. Catherine and I were better suited as friends. And … that I fell in love.”

My heart fluttered and his comment made me smile. I’m sure the conversation was more extensive than that, but I decided to let it go. I heard what I needed to hear.

“We’ll all go out sometime. I’d love for you to meet Will and Michelle.”

“Okay, I’d like that. That would be fun,” I said, much happier now.

“I do think that some discretion is still warranted right now. I think it would be smart for us keep it on the down low for anyone in our two organizations, at least until things settle down.”