Moonshine(53)

I still hadn’t looked at Moon, when the doctor began to speak. “Does anybody have anything to say?”

With all the will power in my body I looked at him. His eyes were red and the tears streamed down his cheeks. “I’m gonna be sick,” were his words. He stood up and walked out of the room. No other words were spoken; they didn’t have to be. His heart was broken just like I knew it would be and he walked out leaving me broken too. Sitting there sobbing into my hands I wondered if I did the right thing, if my choices were worth the heartbreak.

“He just needs time, Baby.” My Dad consoled me and I went with open arms. Rubbing my head and holding me tight, he tried to say things to make it better. “Right now, shock is what he is feeling. Just like the rest of us, it’s hard to hear. We feel useless. Like me, I feel like a worthless Dad for not knowing and for not being there when you needed me the most. I would kill that man if he were still alive.”

“Oh Daddy, it’s not like that. You didn’t know. No one could help me, I was too broken.” We cried together. Mom took Johnny’s place on the couch and cried too. She never stopped. She couldn’t even speak she was such a mess. Johnny and the doctor left us alone to work out our feelings together.

“We are all hurting right now. I am sure that once Moon comes to terms with things, he will be back. Time will heal his wounds. Just like this time here at the facility has healed yours.” Dad spoke to me softly.

“Did you see his face? He may never forgive me.”

“Why would he need to forgive you, Honey? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I lied. I never told him the truth. I kept this secret from him. He was my best friend and I betrayed his trust, and what if he doesn’t believe me. What if he thinks I am lying?”

“He knows you’re not lying. He knows. Don’t you worry about that. His dad is dead and he has to come to terms with this. He loves you and just like us, when you love someone it’s hard to hear that they suffered. Not to mention it was at the hands of his father, the man that deep down in his chest he loves even though he was mean and cruel and never the father that he needed. Just be patient with him. He will come around.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“You are such a brave girl. I am sorry that you had to go through this. I don’t want to forget to tell you so I am telling you now. I am proud of you. I am proud that you had the strength to get through this, and I am indebted forever to Ryker for saving my baby’s life.”

I waited there in Doctor Greene’s office hoping that Moon would come back and see me, but he never did. Despite what I already knew, I still hoped he would walk back through the doors, but it never happened. Hopefully he hadn’t walked out of my life for good. My heart wasn’t prepared for that kind of devastating blow.





27

AND A HALF



Moon

I stood there in front of my dad’s grave, waiting for an explanation that would never come. The words father and husband that were written on his headstone did not deserve to be there. It should have read self-righteous son of a bitch who cheats on his wife and rapes innocent young girls for pleasure. “You sick son of a bitch. How could you do this?’ I kicked the stone as hard as I could in hopes that it would shatter into a million pieces like my heart. “When I picture her lying there screaming for you stop and someone to help her, God it makes me crazy. If you were here right now I would kill you with my bare hands. I would take away your life like you took hers.” I screamed at the ground with everything I had.

“It’s not fair that you got away with this. It’s not fair that you didn’t have to suffer the way that she did.” I fell to my knees at the foot of his grave. “There was a time in my life that I loved you; a time when I looked up to you, but right now on this hallow ground I hate you. I can forgive you for being a horrible Dad because I have a wonderful Mother who makes up for it, but I will never forgive you for taking the innocence away from Shine. My girl,” I screamed. “She’s mine and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for what you did. I hope you asked for forgiveness before you died because you are gonna need it. Burn in hell you bastard.”

I punched the ground as hard as I could and walked away leaving his memory behind.





28



Shine

“I can’t believe that you are leaving me already. I don’t want you to go.” My pouty lip that I had been using all day was not working. He couldn’t stay no matter how bad I wanted him too. It was only two more weeks without him, but that was two weeks too long.