Moonshine(50)

“Probably because right now you have two heads and I couldn’t see your eyes if I wanted to, now shut off the light and let’s go to sleep. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

“I am just gonna go downstairs and sleep on the couch.”

“No, you have to stay here. I don’t want you to go. What if I throw up?”

“Oh no, if you start to throw up I am out of here for real. I don’t even have pajamas.”

“Grab a t-shirt out of my top drawer. You can sleep on the bed and I will sleep beside you on the floor.”

“You don’t have to do that, it’s your bed.”

Honestly my head was spinning so bad that I could care less where I laid it down at. “Its fine; now turn the light off please.”

“Okay,” she turned off the light and I got comfortable on the floor. My mind went straight to Shine the minute my head hit the pillow. All the whiskey I drank still didn’t get her off my mind. I felt like I was in a Willie Nelson song. I needed to pass out or sing the blues. “Thanks for letting me hang out with you and your friends tonight. I had the best time. It was nice to be able to let go of some things and be a teenager for once.”

“You’re welcome. The fact that you even came for a visit at all shocked the hell out of me but I loved it, and I’m really gonna miss you when you leave.” I felt her reach down and grab my hand.

“I will miss you too. I hope you will text me and call me sometimes.”

“I will. You have my number so the same goes for you. You also have to let me know if there is anything you need. By the way, I know you exchanged numbers with Josh tonight. He is a little too old for you.”

I felt her pillow smack me right upside the head, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “I live hours away. You don’t have to worry about anything, besides he’s only two years older than me. I just think it will be nice to have a friend to talk to once in a while, and it really doesn’t hurt that he is gorgeous.”

“Will you shut up? I don’t want to hear that crap.” Her laugh was so sweet and contagious. I hated that she was leaving. “Maybe you can come and visit again over summer break. I really want you to meet my girl, Shine.”

“You have a girlfriend? Where was she at tonight?”

“She isn’t actually my girlfriend, she is my best friend. Hopefully, I can convince her to be my girlfriend real soon. She is away right now. She’s been really sick. When she gets back though, I have big plans for her and maybe we can come and see you.”

“I’d like that Ry. I don’t want to lose you now that I have found you.”

“You won’t lose me. I’ll always be here. You are my sister forever.”

“I love you Ry.”

“I love you too, kiddo.”





26



Moon



Saturday May 25th

Dear Moon,

I know that I haven’t written to you since I have been here and I owe you an explanation. I’m nearing closer to the end of treatment and as my final project I’m supposed to tell the ones that I love my story. You are included in the people that I love. Tomorrow is visitor’s day and I have scheduled a session with my doctor and my parents and I am inviting you to come and be a part of this group. You don’t have to do anything you just have to come and listen. I am asking you to be there for me. After you hear my story, you may not want to speak to me ever again and I understand that but these things have to be said in order for me to completely heal. I want you to be there and I know that you will be. You are always there when I need you. I never even have to ask. So tomorrow at noon, and I know you know where the center is. I have gotten all seventy six of your letters that were never mailed.

I hope that you don’t hate me because I haven’t written you back. I told you a while back that I just needed time. If you still want to be my friend after tomorrow then I’m ready to start over with you. But let’s just take one step at a time. First we have to make it through tomorrow. You are still my best friend forever.





Love,

Shine



I read the letter ten times. She wrote me back; she really wrote me back. My girl wants me to be there and I will be there. This is the best news ever. Hurry up tomorrow!





27



Shine

Today is Sunday and the day I finalize my fate, or at least my fate with Moon. I had nightmares last night when I went to sleep. Each time I would close my eyes I would see Moon staring at me with such hatred. I hadn’t had nightmares since my third week here, and one bad thought sent them right back to me. In order to handle this day, I had to make sure that I took my medication first thing this morning. I hate that I still have to rely on taking it but it helps me, even when I feel like I don’t need it. I only take it once a day now and I am completely off of my sleeping pills. Just taking my body off of those has helped. I don’t feel like my brain is fogged up, or like I am trapped inside of a bubble. The feeling is actually normal.