Moonshine(52)

“It was the day of my car accident, the day I lost everything. That day I had rode to school with Moon, so someone else was going to have to pick me up after practice was over. At first, I thought it would be my Mom, but she had to work so Moon arranged for his mom to come and get me. I went to cheer practice just like I planned only I was late for practice because Moon kissed my cheek in the hall and I stood there like an idiot blushing for fifteen minutes.” I glanced over at him and he was smiling. I continued. “Because I was late, Melody made me stay after and run laps. Which was fine, she would have made anyone else do the same thing. I may have called her a bitch too. I don’t remember. If I didn’t, I am sure that I wanted too.” I got the death glare from Mom and a smirk from Dad.

I went back to the locker room and took my shower. I wasn’t going to, but I got a text from Lisa saying that she was running late. I figured that I had plenty of time. Once I got out of the shower I was standing there in my towel.” I started fidgeting more and I guess Johnny noticed because he took my hand and held it with his, interlacing our fingers. He rubbed the back of my hand with his other hand. It was helping. “I’m sorry.” I said trying to regain control. “I was standing there in my towel when I heard a noise. I thought it was Lisa so I called out to her. It wasn’t Lisa it was David, Moon’s dad. I guess Lisa called him to pick me up because she was running so late.” I took another deep breath hoping I could get through this. The tears started overflowing from my eyes again and I could no longer look at Moon for fear that I would see the hate that haunted my nightmares.

“He staggered into the locker room by where I was standing. He was obviously drunk because I could smell the whiskey on him. He said he had just left a bar and I asked if he would go outside to the car and wait while I got changed. I was going to call Moon to tell him that his dad was there drunk, but he wouldn’t leave the locker room. He grabbed my wrist and held it real tight. I told him that he was hurting me, but it didn’t faze him. He just gripped me tighter.” I heard a slight gasp from Johnny and realized he had just put two and two together. I continued. “He told me I was beautiful and that he knew why Moon loved me so much. He kept getting closer so I tried pushing him away. I told him that my parents would worry.” My breath was become shallower. I wasn’t sure if I could finish, but I knew I had to.

“He yanked the towel from me, and I begged for him to please stop.” I let go of Johnny’s hand and leaned forward to where my head was almost between my knees. I needed air. Johnny rubbed my back as I cried. The words were strangled, but I kept going. “He grabbed my other wrist and slammed my head back into the concrete wall. I cried out as loud as I could for someone, anyone, but he smacked me hard across the face and told me to shut the fuck up. He told me to quit fighting him. I begged him with every breath to stop, but it didn’t work.” I could see out of the corner of my eyes that Moon was antsy in his seat. Was he going to believe me? I couldn’t look at his face. “He had both of my hands above my head and the other hands moved between my legs.” I stopped speaking because of my mother’s cries. It was hard to hear her. When I looked up I saw that Dad was crying too and there was nothing I could do about it. I put my head back down and cried some more. After a few minutes I continued trying to finish this nightmare. “I screamed help again, but this time he hit my face with his fist. He hit me over and over. It felt like my bones were breaking with every punch. Then he raped me and every time he entered my body he would say things that still haunt me today. He told me that Ryker wouldn’t want me anymore. He said that he wouldn’t want a slut.” I wiped my face and nose with the back of my hand.

“When it was over he forced me into the car and told me not to say a word to anybody. He scared me enough that I don’t know if I ever would, but I knew somehow I would have to figure out how to explain my face. I was positive that my nose was broken.

When we were in the car he was driving so fast. At one point, we were doing eighty and it was just a little old country road. When we hit the curve he lost control. I don’t remember a whole lot of what happened after that, but I remember knowing he was dead the moment I saw him. It was obvious, and then I puked my guts up right there in my lap. Anything after that was fuzzy until I woke up in the hospital.

That is the reason that I ran Moon off when I woke up. It was those eyes. They scared me because they were just like David’s and I was afraid. It was one of the hardest things for me to overcome, but those eyes are different now. I can see the good in Moon’s eyes now. I just couldn’t cope with the accident and the rape. It was too much for me. Then I started having these attacks which the doctor said was normal, but they never went away. The medicine just made me a ghost of myself and took away the pain. I thought since they took away the pain so easily that I could take it away for good. They made me float away to another world where I could live without fear and I wanted to be there forever. I needed to run away, so that’s what I did. I tried to kill myself and remove all the pain. Thanks to Moon I didn’t die. I lived and I got a second chance at life.” My body shook with my cries. “That day I lost my innocence, my best friend, and my mind. It has been a long hard road to overcome, but I have made it. I won’t ever be hurt like that again because I am stronger today then I have ever been.” I took Johnny’s hand back. “I am a survivor. I have each one of you to thank for that.” I made it through. I kept my head down at my lap. Slowly, I removed each of my boots and put them on the floor. I tucked my legs up tightly under me and waited for someone else to speak. I had said my peace and my heart felt less heavy because of it. Never would I be able to get back what David took from me, but I was alive today to talk about it and I was a much stronger person because of it.