Momentary Marriage(105)
Oh, how his voice had plagued her these past forty-eight hours. She’d lain awake in the night, the soft velvet of his words rubbing at her till she thought she’d go crazy. The battle waged inside her—to give in to her dreams and her longings or to resist. To be a sadder version of Chloe or to cling to the independent life she’d created for herself.
The whole dilemma left her frustrated and cranky, unable to concentrate on anything but the muddle inside her.
Kelsey threw down her pencil and walked around to her small, grimy window. Her first weeks with Jared had been the happiest, most secure of her life. He’d been passionate and tender by turns. Responsible and consistent in every way.
She hated him for that, for making her want what she couldn’t have. He’d done it deliberately, she kept reminding herself. Knowing how she felt about relationships and losing her heart, he’d consciously set out to bring her to this brink of lunacy—all for his own purposes.
Snatching up her suit jacket, Kelsey left her office. She had to see him. Had to tell him just how horribly he’d ruined her life.
Leaving her building two minutes later, she hailed a cab. The ride to Jared’s building seemed to take forever. In her head, she tried to practice what she’d say to him, but the words seemed jumbled and inadequate. She kept coming back to “I love you, you bastard. Keep the hell away from me!”
Never had traffic seemed so slow. Now that she’d decided to act, she felt consumed by urgency.
She scooted forward on the seat, for once praying that her cab driver would speed from intersection to intersection.
Long minutes later, they pulled up outside Jared’s office building. Kelsey threw some money at the driver and got out of the cab.
The elevator ride to his floor seemed an eternity.
She got out when the car stopped, turning automatically toward his office. Heart pounding, fingers gripped around her purse strap, she walked quickly down the hall.
This was all his fault. All his fault. If it weren’t for Jared, she’d still be the old Kelsey. Still be safe and inviolate. Not concerned with her resentment against her father, not swamped with longings she couldn’t control.
Sweeping into the reception area, Kelsey didn’t pause at the receptionist’s desk.
“Mrs. Barrett?” the woman said, startled. “He’s on the—“
Her trembling legs carried her past the woman, stopping in the open doorway of Jared’s office.
He sat behind his desk, sunlight from the corner windows, casting his face in shadow. The phone to his ear, he appeared to be doodling aimlessly on a scratch pad in front of him, his long fingers driving the pencil over the paper in slashing, restless movements.
“Good. Go ahead and sign the agreement. We need to settle this, so our people—“ Jared broke off as he lifted his head, his gaze suddenly fixed on her.
Standing there trembling with fury and despair, she held his look, the tumbling sensation in her stomach making her dizzy.
“I’ve got to go,” he said abruptly into the phone before lowering the receiver to its cradle. “Kelsey.”
He got up and came around the desk, his gaze intent on her, the expression on his face hovering between hope and caution.
“I hate you,” she blurted out, the muscles in her body vibrating with the intensity of a lifetime of fear.
“I…know,” he said, compassion and regret in the words.
She took several hasty steps into the room, turning to face him across the space in front of his desk. “You’ve ruined everything. Deliberately tried to make this happen.”
There was no denial in his eyes as he somberly met her angry glare.
He turned, going to the door and shutting it before facing her.
“I…wanted you. All of you, not just your body or your company for the night,” he said as if trying to explain his transgressions.
“No matter how I felt about it?” she gasped out. “Even if I didn’t want to fall in love?”
Jared was silent for a long moment. “I guess I never thought that loving someone could be a bad thing.”
“Well, it is a bad thing,” she shot back instantly. “My mother has—“
“Your mother,” he interrupted in a deliberate voice, “is a troubled woman. Emotionally unstable and completely disinterested in a long-term relationship.”
“That’s not true!” gasped Kelsey. “All her adult life, she’s tried to find the right man—“
“The right man for the next wedding,” Jared said, leaning back against his huge desk. “I’ve noticed something about Chloe that has apparently escaped yours and Amy’s attention.”