Midnight Sun(99)

with even a whispered conversation.
The movie began, lightening the darkness just a bit. Bella glanced up at me. She noted the rigid way I
held my body-just like hers-and smiled. Her lips parted slightly, and her eyes seemed full of warm
invitations.
Or perhaps I was seeing what I wanted to see.
I smiled back; her breathing caught with a low gasp and she looked quickly away.
That made it worse. I didn't know her thoughts, but I was suddenly positive that I had been right before,
and that she wanted me to touch her. She felt this dangerous desire just as I did.
Between her body and mine, the electricity hummed.
She didn't move all through the hour, holding her stiff, controlled pose as I held mine. Occasionally she
would peek at me again, and the humming current would jolt through me with a sudden shock.
The hour passed-slowly, and yet not slowly enough. This was so new, I could have sat like this with her
for days, just to experience the feeling fully.
I had a dozen different arguments with myself while the minutes passed, rationality struggling with
desire as I tried to justify touching her.
Finally, Mr. Banner turned the lights on again.
In the bright fluorescent light, the atmosphere of the room returned to normal. Bella sighed and
stretched, flexing her fingers in front of her. It must have been uncomfortable for her to hold that
position for so long. It was easier for me-stillness came naturally.
I chuckled at the relieved expression on her face. "Well, that was interesting."
"Umm," she murmured, clearly understanding what I referred to, but making no comment. What I
wouldn't give to hear what she was thinking right now.
I sighed. No amount of wishing was going to help with that. "Shall we?" I asked, standing.
She made a face and got unsteadily to her feet, her hands splayed out as if she were afraid she was
going to fall.
I could offer her my hand. Or I could place that hand underneath her elbow-just lightly-and steady her.
Surely that wouldn't be such a horrible infraction...
No mistakes.
She was very quiet as we walked toward the gym. The crease was in evidence between her eyes, a sign
that she was deep in thought. I, too, was thinking deeply.
One touch of her skin wouldn't hurt her, my selfish side contended.
I could easily moderate the pressure of my hand. It wasn't exactly difficult, as long as I was firmly in
control of myself. My tactile sense was better developed than a human's; I could juggle a dozen crystal
goblets without breaking any of them; I could stroke a soap bubble without popping it. As long as I was
firmly in control...
Bella was like a soap bubble-fragile and ephemeral. Temporary.
How long would I be able to justify my presence in her life? How much time did I have? Would I have
another chance like this chance, like this moment, like this second?
She would not always be within my arm's reach...
Bella turned to face me at the gym's door, and her eyes widened at the expression on my face. She
didn't speak. I looked at myself in the reflection of her eyes and saw the conflict raging in my own. I
watched my face change as my better side lost the argument.
My hand lifted without a conscious command for it to do so. As gently as if she were made of the
thinnest glass, as if she were fragile as a bubble, my fingers stroked the warm skin that covered her
cheekbone. It heated under my touch, and I could feel the pulse of blood speed beneath her transparent
skin.
Enough, I ordered, though my hand was aching to shape itself to the side of her face. Enough .
It was difficult to pull my hand back, to stop myself from moving closer to her than I already was. A
thousand different possibilities ran through my mind in an instant-a thousand different ways to touch
her. The tip of my finger tracing the shape of her lips. My palm cupping under her chin. Pulling the clip
from her hair and letting it spill out across my hand. My arms winding around her waist, holding her
against the length of my body.
Enough.
I forced myself to turn, to move away from her. My body moved stiffly-unwilling. I let my mind linger#p#分页标题#e#
behind to watch her as I walked swiftly away, almost running from the temptation. I caught Mike
Newton's thoughts-they were the loudest-while he watched Bella walk past him in oblivion, her eyes
unfocused and her cheeks red. He glowered and suddenly my name was mingled with curses in his head;
I couldn't help grinning slightly in response.
My hand was tingling. I flexed it and then curled it into a fist, but it continued to sting painlessly.
No, I hadn't hurt her-but touching her had still been a mistake.
It felt like fire-like the thirsting burn of my throat had spread throughout my entire body.
The next time I was close to her, would I be able to stop myself from touching her again? And if I
touched her once, would I be able to stop at that?
No more mistakes. That was it. Savor the memory, Edward, I told myself grimly, and keep your hands to