Midnight Sun(21)

interested in her exchange with me. This annoyed me quite a bit more than was acceptable, so I stopped
listening to him.
I put a CD of violent music into the stereo, and then turned it up until it drowned out other voices. I had
to concentrate on the music very hard to keep myself from drifting back to Mike Newton's thoughts, to
spy on the unsuspecting girl...
I cheated a few times, as the hour drew to a close. Not spying, I tried to convince myself. I was just
preparing. I wanted to know exactly when she would leave the gym, when she would be in the parking
lot. I didn't want her to take me by surprise.
As the students started to file out of the gym doors, I got out of my car, not sure why I did it. The rain
was light -I ignored it as it slowly saturated my hair.
Did I want her to see me here? Did I hope she would come to speak to me? What was I doing?
I didn't move, though I tried to convince myself to get back in the car, knowing my behavior was
reprehensible. I kept my arms folded across my chest and breathed very shallowly as I watched her walk
slowly toward me, her mouth turning down at the corners. She didn't look at me. A few times she
glanced up at the clouds with a grimace, as if they offended her.
I was disappointed when she reached her car before she had to pass me. Would she have spoken to me?
Would I have spoken to her?
She got into a faded red Chevy truck, a rusted behemoth that was older than her father. I watched her
start the truck-the old engine roared louder than any other vehicle in the lot-and then hold her hands
out toward the heating vents. The cold was uncomfortable to her-she didn't like it. She combed her
fingers through her thick hair, pulling locks through the stream of hot air like she was trying to dry them.
I imagined what the cab of that truck would smell like, and then quickly drove out the thought.
She glanced around as she prepared to back out, and finally looked in my direction. She stared back at
me for only half a second, and all I could read in her eyes was surprise before she tore her eyes away
and jerked the truck into reverse. And then squealed to a stop again, the back end of the truck missing a
collision with Erin Teague's compact by mere inches.
She stared into her rearview mirror, her mouth hanging open with chagrin. When the other car had
pulled past her, she checked all her blind spots twice and then inched out the parking space so
cautiously that it made me grin. It was like she thought she was dangerous in her decrepit truck.
The thought of Bella Swan being dangerous to anyone, no matter what she was driving, had me laughing
while the girl drove past me, staring straight ahead.
3. Phenomenon
Truly, I was not thirsty, but I decided to hunt again that night. A small ounce of prevention, inadequate
though I knew it to be.
Carlisle came with me; we hadn't been alone together since I'd returned from Denali. As we ran through
the black forest, I heard him thinking about that hasty goodbye last week.
In his memory, I saw the way my features had been twisted in fierce despair. I felt his surprise and#p#分页标题#e#
sudden worry.
"Edward?"
"I have to go, Carlisle. I have to go now."
"What's happened?"
"Nothing. Yet. But it will, if I stay."
He'd reached for my arm. I felt how it had hurt him when I'd cringed away from his hand. "I don't
understand."
"Have you ever...has there ever been a time..." I watched myself take a deep breath, saw the wild light
in my eyes through the filter of his deep concern. "Has any one person ever smelled better to you than
the rest of them? Much better?"
"Oh."
When I'd known that he understood, my face had fallen with shame. He'd reached out to touch me,
ignoring it when I'd recoiled again, and left his hand on my shoulder.
"Do what you must to resist, son. I will miss you. Here, take my car. It's faster." He was wondering now if
he'd done the right thing then, sending me away. Wondering if he hadn't hurt me with his lack of trust.
"No," I whispered as I ran. "That was what I needed. I might so easily have betrayed that trust, if you'd
told me to stay."
"I'm sorry you're suffering, Edward. But you should do what you can to keep the Swan child alive. Even if
it means that you must leave us again."
"I know, I know."
"Why did you come back? You know how happy I am to have you here, but if this is too difficult..."
"I didn't like feeling a coward," I admitted. We'd slowed -we were barely jogging through the darkness
now.
"Better that than to put her in danger. She'll be gone in a year or two."
"You're right, I know that." Contrarily, though, his words only made me more anxious to stay. The girl
would be gone in a year or two... Carlisle stopped running and I stopped with him; he turned to examine
my expression.