Master of the Desert(23)

His suspicions, already roused, grew. 'That's old news, Antonia. What's  really on your mind?' He knew the answer to that question the moment  Antonia's hands flashed across her stomach to protect it. Antonia was  pregnant? 'Are you pregnant?' he asked her quietly.

'And what if I am?' she said defensively.                       
       
           



       

'Are you pregnant with my baby?'

'Do you really think there's any doubt?'

'How do I know?' Antonia's continued defiance in the face of such  momentous news drove him to explode. 'For all I know, you're like your  mother in that respect too.'

If he'd thought the girl on his yacht a virago, this girl was a demon  possessed. She launched herself at him. He captured her, holding her  firmly in front of him. 'Think of the baby-if you can!' He was instantly  aware of how it felt to hold Antonia, and was immediately remorseful  for taking out his shock on the mother of his child. He let her go and  stood back as she cried, 'There have been no other men, Ra'id-how could  there be?'

This impassioned outburst revealed more than she wanted to say.  'Enough,' he told her softly. 'Do you want to upset yourself and the  baby?'

'Upset?' Hugging herself, she turned away. 'Do you care about me now?' she demanded with disbelief.

If only she knew. He'd always known that one day he would face this  dilemma: love or duty. But to him, with his father's history to draw on,  there was no choice to be made. 'Of course I care about the child you  carry. I have seen more grief than I care to think about brought down on  a child thanks to the selfishness of its parents.'

'Don't tar me with that brush, Ra'id,' she warned him.

But as she confronted Ra'id Antonia knew that this was not one of her  wild, romantic fantasies but a very dangerous situation. She had brought  her unborn child into a desert kingdom where that child's father  reigned supreme, and where its mother had no voice, no rights. She  doubted Ra'id would let her go now he knew she was carrying his royal  baby. What irony, Antonia thought as she stared up at the citadel's  forbidding walls. She really was following in her mother's footsteps  now. Would Ra'id make her a prisoner here like her mother before her?  The loss of her freedom was a nightmare beyond imagining, and the very  last thing she wanted for her child-but would Ra'id, a man driven so  relentlessly by duty, respect that?

Ra'id would always do what was right, she concluded, but it didn't  reassure her to know that he had accomplished many good things in  Sinnebar without once involving his feelings. Plus, he had lashed out  verbally at both their parents, whom Ra'id considered had failed his  stringent test. With all his wealth and privilege, would Ra'id be so  very different when it came to bringing up a child? For him, duty always  came first. The only certainty, Antonia decided, was that she would  never agree to be parted from her child, and neither duty nor  self-interest would change that.

'You're going to live here?' The effects of pregnancy were more telling  than he had realised, Ra'id concluded as Antonia stated her intention.  'Firstly, the place isn't habitable, and secondly, you would need my  permission.'

'I can't do this without your help, Ra'id.'

'I'm well aware of that. But first I would have to agree to you remaining in the country.'

'Don't you want to keep your child in Sinnebar?' It was a passionate  outburst in a last-ditch attempt to touch him. It was also the biggest  risk she had ever taken in her life.

'I have a country to consider.' And now a pregnant mistress, Ra'id acknowledged tensely.

'And I would be superfluous to your plans?' Antonia suggested with  biting accuracy. 'If you think for one moment you're going to part me  from my child … '

He only had to picture Antonia staying in Sinnebar to know he still  wanted her. And only had to think of his child to know he wouldn't let  her go. But she represented everything he had pledged to avoid. The  irony wasn't lost on him. Having shunned his late father's  self-indulgent lifestyle, it now appeared that he was following his  father's lead to the letter. Was he to lose everything he had fought  for? Was the country he loved to be plunged back into chaos? Could he  hide Antonia away as his father had hidden her mother? Just the thought  of it disgusted him.                       
       
           



       

Would he pay her off when the child was born … ?

Antonia might shun money now, but didn't they say everyone had their price? 'I won't part you from your child; I'll help you.'

'Thank you.' Her face softened and hope returned to her eyes.

'If only to ensure you do a proper job at the citadel.' His tone was  brusque and businesslike as he struggled to remain immune to the Antonia  effect.

'Oh, I will,' she assured him, her face transformed by happiness and wreathed in smiles. 'You have no idea how hard I'll work.'

'Not at the risk of your pregnancy,' he commanded.

'Of course not. I'll be sensible,' she promised him fervently.

'No more wild adventures.'

Only with you, flashed briefly across her eyes. 'None. I promise,' she  said. And then she flung herself at him, hugging his unresponsive body,  exclaiming, 'Thank you, thank you!'

There was such rapture on her face, and such vulnerability in her  expression, while his mind was full of the fact that he was going to  become a father-the very best of fathers-and he would be ruthless in  achieving that end.

Thanks to the narrow windows it was surprisingly cool inside the many  rooms, and far less threatening than Antonia had originally thought. In  fact, now she was inside the citadel, it seemed to welcome her, though  there would have to be some fairly major changes. During the renovations  she would ask the architects to find a way to bring in more light and  make the place seem more welcoming.

If only Ra'id could welcome her, Antonia thought wistfully as he  accompanied her on the tour. But, of course, Ra'id was only doing this  because she was expecting his baby. He probably wouldn't let her out of  his sight now-but not for the reasons she had hoped. He might be walking  at her side, but she was on her own-as her mother had been before her.  Antonia was looking for a very different resolution. Her mother had  wanted to escape, while Antonia was determined to stay. She wanted to  bloom where she was planted and make a go of things here.

They had looked inside many rooms, but when Ra'id stopped outside a  particular door she got the strangest feeling. 'This is my mother's  room, isn't it?' she said, not really needing Ra'id to confirm that it  was.

He said nothing as he opened the door onto what, at first sight, appeared to be yet another soulless, dusty room.

Antonia was determined to keep her emotions in check this time, but  there wasn't a part of her that wasn't aware of Ra'id or a fragment of  her heart that didn't yearn to have him close to her again. She missed  the easy camaraderie they'd come to share on the island, when it had  been just a girl called Tuesday and a man called Saif. But now there was  a king and a girl who was nobody, except for the fact that she was  expecting the king's child. She had value as the incubator of Ra'id's  child, Antonia acknowledged, but equally she was a liability to him.

So she must plan for the future.

She stared around walls that seemed to beg her to linger so she could  see the possibilities. 'I'd need some form of transport to get in and  out of town,' she murmured out loud, thinking of all the shopping she  would have to do to turn this place into a home.

He stared at her long and hard, and then he said briskly, 'A four-wheel  drive should suffice. It isn't far to the city-and, of course, you'll  have a full complement of staff. You can have a driver and a helicopter  at your disposal, if you think that's necessary. I'm sure we can come to  an accommodation that suits both of us equally.'

'An accommodation?' That sounded like a cold, soulless thing. And, as  for suiting them both equally, she doubted Ra'id knew much about  equality, and cared to learn about it even less. 'Will I be free to use  the resources on my land?' She was thinking local wildlife, the flora  and fauna, when Ra'id's expression darkened.

'Do you imagine you're going to find oil here?' he demanded.

'No, of course not, but I was hoping you might allow a number of  specialists to advise me on the best way to showcase local wildlife and  crafts.'                       
       
           



       

'I could make some enquiries when I return to the capital,' he conceded.

'When you return?' Antonia's courage dwindled to nothing, but then she  firmed her resolve. Ra'id had never pretended they would be living  anything other than separate lives; it was up to her to get used to it.