Loving Lily(57)

I couldn’t help laughing at his blissful face, studying the baby as if it was the most beautiful thing he had set his eyes upon. There was no doubt in my mind that he was going to be a very hands-on father. The fears that had erected before about my impending motherhood didn’t seem so terrifying any longer, because I had him by my side.

We were going to have a baby boy. I basked in the overwhelming fact that led my heart to skitter around my chest.

With Drake over the moon about the baby news, and with my mind occupied about anything and everything about the baby, the next impending months were going to be excitingly full of preparations and anticipating the birth of our child.

There was nothing better to unite a man and a woman than a baby. It wasn’t the mere fact alone, but I would admit having the baby helped out a great deal in slowly healing us both, gradually cementing our trust with each other.

Someday soon, I intended to speak to him and bare my heart, once and for all.

After the doctor’s visit, we went to have a light lunch on Ocean Drive. The breathtaking view of the sea while we discussed our baby made me feel much more connected to him, like we were beginning to be a family again.

“Have you thought about the nursery?” he asked distractedly before plucking freshly baked bread from the basket then splitting it in two.

The nursery…

The very thought of it brought a shadow to my face. “I was thinking of waiting, you know? Maybe when we only have a few months left. I want to wait until then, if you don’t mind.” I hadn’t anticipated that he would be interested in the nursery. However, after seeing his face earlier, I should have known better.

“Why?” He paused, giving me a scrutinizing look. “If you’re worried about how tedious it would be, well, worry no more. Like I said before, I’m here to help you in any way I can.”

“Thank you. I appreciate you telling me this whenever you get a chance, but seriously, I just want to wait until I’m past six to seven months.”

“But you’ll hardly be able to move then, Lil,” he stated before quickly adding, “Let’s face it, this pregnancy started with a slight complication, and as much as I hate saying this, we should be prepared in case you are put on bed rest again. One can never be too safe.”

He had a point. From what other mothers had told me, the later stage would mostly be spent in bed because my body would be too exhausted hauling the baby around. Still, I wasn’t ready for any of it.

“Drake, I get your point, but do you mind if I think about it later on?” I wasn’t about to ruin his day. Opening up about my fears could be done another day, maybe when we were alone.

He made a bright smile before reaching for my hand to caress it. “How about a compromise? Let’s walk around to do some window shopping and see if that would inspire you to go crazy with shopping for our son. You won’t have a spending limit; doesn’t that entice you even just a little?” he teased, obviously not willing to let it go just yet.

“Compromise … Okay, I’m good with that, as long as you give me your word that we won’t be purchasing anything.”

His eyes twinkled mischievously. “I promise.”

*

The twinkling of his eyes should have given me a clue that it was hard to take him for his word sometimes.

We were in the baby section of Nordstroms when he had the intense urge to buy a giraffe that was almost as big as I was.

“Look, isn’t he just adorable? Come on, he’s begging to be adopted to the House of Tatum.” He was toying with the ears, amused by the damn stuffed, life-sized animal. I couldn’t help gurgling a laugh at his childishness.

“Ugh! Fine, okay. Let’s buy the darn thing just to keep you happy.”

Lavishing on his tiny victory after paying for the plush toy, we strolled about with the massive thing next to us. It was so annoyingly stupid it was hilarious.

We set on color schemes and what we would like the nursery to look like, both agreeing baby blue would be too bland. However, when he elaborated that he had this vision about making it into a safari/jungle theme, I had to put a halt to his “vision.”

“We’re brainstorming here, so nothing definite yet. How about pastel green? That would be a nice, soothing color, don’t you think? We could accent it with brown and what not…”

“Green,” he reiterated. “I think I like that.”

“Then that’s settled! Can we go home now? My back is starting to hurt.” It wasn’t really painful, per say, but this weird, dull pain hadn’t left my back since this morning. As much as I didn’t want to think about it, fear was slowly working its way into me like a damn disease.