Loving Lily(53)

“Oh, yeah, he’s been in New York, right?” she acknowledged, remembering how I had told her Drake had left for New York when I came to work with red-rimmed eyes. “I guess it’s a good thing to have some time apart from each other. It makes the heart grow fonder. “She gave me an encouraging smile before striding towards the office where she had to dive into numbers for the monthly accounting.

As much as I loved my best friend, when it came to my troubles with Drake, I tended to not to disclose much of it. I believed that, once you spilled the beans, the person you told would try to give their opinion, which could be a good or a bad thing. Besides, this was a critical point, and I couldn’t let anyone sway my decision. Maybe later on, when things settled, if they ever did, I might tell her. In the meantime, I rather liked the fact that everyone was oblivious to the problems that were drifting us apart.

Drake.

Where did I even begin with him? Well, since he had left, he and I hadn’t spoken. With each day that passed, my worry took another step farther, making me think the offer he had made me in his office was only a one-off or what people called goodbye sex these days. In my situation, it had been less sex and more of a goodbye.

It was not comforting to consider he most likely was preoccupied with someone else. My mind hadn’t drifted away from the subject. Endless nights of torment and tears hadn’t made me change my mind about wanting him back, yet the very image of him having sex with some unnamed stranger made me hurl.

In the five, long stretch of days, I had recently discovered I was starting to get obsessive with him again. I knew it wasn’t healthy, but what could I do? My feelings were spiraling out of control. It was as if the time I had put a cap on it made it all the worse. Because, the moment he had intimately touched me, all those pent-up feelings, frustrations, and broken dreams had all come to the surface, seeking their way out of my system. It was bizarre.

Although I didn’t want to admit to it, I had thought maybe it was sex that made me yearn for him once more. It had always been there, but the anger I had felt for him then was so profound it overrode everything good I had shared with him. Since that night, all I could think about was him—his touch and the way he made me feel. It was so amazing it left me in tears.

The sofa interlude might have been short, but even then, it was achingly beautiful. The feelings I had ignored, numbing myself from it all, had come back to me all at once.

Despite his previous faults, the moment he and I got together, he had never let me down. Deep down, I knew it was time for me to fight for him the way he had fought for me not so long ago.

Later that night, I spent a great amount of time pacing around the house, waiting and waiting in vain for Drake’s call or for him to show up, announcing he was back from his trip. However, when the clock struck one in the morning, I felt I had received a good wakeup call. He wasn’t coming.

Even though my heart was breaking, I reassured myself that it would take some time for him to come around. Maybe he still needed more time to let go of his hatred for me before he could see me as his wife again.

The waiting game lasted several nights, back to back, without a word from him. On the fourth night, I’d had enough of it and took the initiative myself by plucking my phone from its charger and dialing his number.

“Hey, Lily…” he drawled the moment he took the call, sending warm tingles all over my body.

“Hey,” I said before pausing, noting the loud background noise, making me wonder where the hell he was at the moment.

“If you need my services, I’ll make sure to try to see you tonight,” he said, while I was too caught up with the sounds in the background.

Drastically, I harshly demanded, “Where are you?”

Without much preamble, he nonchalantly replied, “Out … drinking.”

“With whom?” I was screeching into the phone when I felt my body stop functioning altogether.

As if on cue, I heard women—not a woman, but women. Plural.

Instantly, my body flashed hot then cold before I froze on the spot. How could he do this after he and I sort of had a moment of intimacy? I shouldn’t be feeling it, but I couldn’t stop my heart. His betrayal cut through me.

Robotically, I heard myself say in a rushed tone that I had to go before hanging up the call. I wasn’t sure anymore what had prompted me to call to begin with, but I sure as hell hadn’t expected to hear that.

That was gut wrenching, I sadly concluded as I numbly sat myself down, staring into space, seeing everything yet not a damn thing.

Well, it looked like I would be raising this child on my own.

Softly cupping the bump on my tummy, I whispered with tears in my eyes, “It’s just going to be you and me, kiddo.”