Love and History(23)

“You’re kidding? That fast? They must want you.” He carried a steaming dish to the table.

Spying the garlic bread cut up on a plate, she brought it along. “I don’t know about that, but they have published my others so it’s a good track record.”

“It’ll look good for tenure!” He handed her the spoon.

She set down the bread and dished out pasta. “It won’t hurt. You never wanted to talk about this before.”

“Not true. I wanted to talk about your tenure. I had to read the book first. Now I can make any sense of your paper.” He spooned out his own helping of pasta.

She paused as she was halfway to her chair. His confession hit her heart. “You read the book? You didn’t need to read it. I’d have given you the gist.”

He smiled. “I’m perfectly capable of reading it and talking about it intelligently. I didn’t want you to know I hadn’t.”

“Scott, you were making an effort. Now, you’ll have to wait to read the article when it’s in print.” Part of her felt bad making him cook on top of the new information, but she dug in and realized his jarred sauce wasn’t so terribly impressive. She’d cook from now on.

“I’m not a jerk.” He shrugged.

“I know. Thank you for making me dinner. How about a little pop quiz. Who was the funeral for?”

“You’re such a teacher. Hero.” He relaxed and ate.

“Correct. Who did Hero marry at the end?” Excitement bubbled in her that he did make that effort, at least to watch the movie. There was hope for them.

“Claudio. Don’t ask me to recite anything. I hate the old language. It’s like a foreign language.”

“You’re not the only one. I hear that plenty. Thank you,” she said.

He set down his fork. “I don’t want to lose you.”

That was a confession of feelings for him, and she heard it her way. “I love you, too. You won’t lose me if you trust me and just tell me the truth. I don’t want a Dom for a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend who I can fight with and share with and who is a Dom in the bedroom. I’m not perfect, and I don’t have to be. Neither of us needs to be anything but who we are.”

He nodded, but she worried she’d freaked him out.

“I know you’re right.” He looked her in the eyes. “I’ve had a relationship with a sub before but…”

“But? Don’t tell me I’ve got competition?” That hadn’t occurred to her, but it made her want to win him all the more.

“No. Definitely not. I was young. I’d just started at a club to learn the right way to dominate. Clubs do have their uses for new people to learn the ropes and especially for Doms to learn from more experienced Masters. I met a young woman, and I thought it was right.” He focused on his food.

Bridget wasn’t sure where this was going but wanted to reassure him. “You’re an amazing Dom. We all make mistakes when we’re learning. That time my skin was broken, I couldn’t hold still. I thought I could keep in position, but I should’ve been restrained.”

“Still the Dom’s fault for not being aware of your movements. I didn’t hurt her. I respected her limits even when she begged for more.”

“Limits can change. New people are always more conservative and nervous.” She’d heard that story tons of times. “Exploring something new is part of the play.”

He shook his head. “What she wanted, I couldn’t do. She’d been abused.”

“Oh. A rape fantasy isn’t that unusual. In a role-playing scene, it works for some people.” There wasn’t much she hadn’t heard her female sub friends confess to asking for.

Scott sat back and took a long drink of water. “She wanted to role play. Daddy stuff. Only it wasn’t exactly fantasy. More like replaying her childhood and going further. It was disturbing to hear her talk about it.”

Her fork fell to the plate. “Yuck. At least, that explains why you asked if I was abused.”

“Exactly, I wanted to help her get beyond it, but she wanted to relive it. It stopped me cold. I talked to a few Masters for advice. I needed to make sure I was right.”

“If you didn’t want to play that way you had to be honest. So you loved her then found out about her Daddy issues and abuse. Things fell apart?” She hated that he’d been hurt and so scarred as a young man, but he belonged with her.

“It was more complicated than that. I tried to find other things that worked. Newbies never want to give up when they find someone to play with. She started acting out to be punished and was never sorry. She’d misbehave, and when I’d ignore her, she’d ask to be beaten. I don’t do that. I walked away. I released her and left the club because I couldn’t stomach what she wanted. Later, I found out that another Dom took over for me.”