Love and History(19)

Chapter Five



A week and a day later, Scott sat at work and stared at his computer. He’d spent the night at Bridget’s that one Saturday, but not another time since. Being with her was too much like a relationship, and while it felt good, he couldn’t hurt her that way. Other Doms had tried to violate her limits. He wouldn’t break her heart so he’d left after the morning play. He hadn’t even stayed for breakfast. He felt like a jerk, but he hadn’t promised her anything yet.

The past week had been tense. They’d had two meet ups for sex that were amazing and were followed by watching that miniseries on the History Channel and pointless chitchat. Neither of them brought up anything about a relationship or dating. Nothing had changed except he wanted to be near her every second of the day.

Whatever they had was stalled because of him. Even sexually, he hadn’t pushed her beyond what they’d done nor had she disobeyed to make him get creative. Things were stalemated, but neither could give up the play.

He knew it was because she wanted a relationship.

Could she handle a Dom/sub relationship only? He hadn’t asked her that question yet, but it was the natural extension of things. Telling her his limits would ruin everything, and he couldn’t do that yet.

A knock on the door made him hope, but it was Nelson.

“Hi,” Scott said curtly.

“Hi? What? Did she dump you?” Nelson asked.

“No, not exactly, but things are in a lull.”

Nelson folded his arms. “Lull? You have to nudge her within the limits. Keep it interesting.”

“It’s not the sex. I think she wants a relationship.” Scott rubbed his temples.

“You don’t want a relationship with her?” Nelson shook his head. “She’s smart, attractive and into your kink. If I found my woman like that, I’d marry her now.”

Scott’s chest tightened. “It’s not that easy.”

“Dude, one sub left you for another Dom when you were young. I get that. It hurt. But that was years ago. Get over it. Tell her your past crap so she doesn’t think you’re a massive dick. Take it slow, but don’t let her get away.”

“I can’t. It’s not just that.”

Nelson folded his arms and shook his head.

“It’s not. I trust her. If I could give her what she wants, the proper boyfriend and Dom combo, she’d never leave me.” Admitting that almost scared him.

“Told you. I was matchmaker in a previous life. Master Yenta!”

Scott laughed. “You may be that good, but I’m not good enough for her.”

Nelson wagged a finger at his friend. “Lack of confidence in a Dom doesn’t work. Get that crap out of your head. It’s not hot, and it’s not healthy.”

“But the boyfriend can’t be an arrogant ass.” He’d never tried to combine romance with submission except that one sub who’d once been abused. All he’d wanted to do was make her safe, and she’d run off with a guy who would do darker things than her daddy had done to her. He shuddered at the memory of what she’s shared.

“Okay, so tell her you’re having trouble finding the line because you don’t normally do relationships and kink. Tell her so she doesn’t think you’re a jackass. Let her guide the dating thing while you rule in the bedroom. Even Steven.” Nelson nodded.

“I’m not sure I can cut the relationship thing.”

Nelson sighed. “Tell her that. If this is going to work, you don’t have to be the Dom all the time. That’s not what you signed on for. You get to buy the wrong peanut butter and forget her favorite wine. You get to be the boyfriend. In the bedroom, you’re in charge all the time. If she’s unable to handle that change, maybe she’s the problem?”

Deep down, Scott knew she wasn’t the problem, but he wasn’t going to talk about his family to Nelson. The only person who needed to know was Bridget, when the time was right.

“Okay, I’ll think about it.” He checked her online schedule. At least, she’d emailed that to him again this week. She had one early class and was free until a packed afternoon. “I should go see her. Don’t be a dick, right?”

“Right, that’s the spirit!” Nelson clapped his hands together. “I’ll get back to the computers. Have you seen the blog lately though? People are talking. It’s wonderful.”

“I’ll bet you’re leading things.” Scott smiled.

“Well, people need a little encouragement.” Nelson went one way down the hall, and Scott headed for the English Department.

A few moments later, he knocked on her door and waited for her response. Entering, he locked the door behind him. She looked so good he almost forgot what he was there for. A loosely knit purple sweater over a white blouse showed off her features well. Her hair was pulled up, and his hands itched to take it down.