Love Survives(9)

“Not tonight. I’ve got something I need to take care of.”

Seemingly confused, she climbed out of the car. I didn’t wait for her to get inside like a gentleman would do. Instead I pulled away as soon as the door slammed shut. There was someone I had to see.

When I entered the house I could hear the television on in the family room. I found Kat and Branch passed out on the couch, so I took the remote and started flipping through channels while avoiding watching how close they were.

From where I was sitting I noticed she’d sat up, leaving Branch to remain sleeping. Before I was able to react she was right up in my face, slapping me hard across the cheek. I didn’t waste any time scooping her up onto my lap and keeping her close. “What was that for?”

“Let me go,” she angrily whispered while squirming to free herself.

I chuckled, releasing my hold and watching as she sunk to the floor beneath me. “You look better down there anyway.” With my brother in the room I couldn’t react the way I wanted to. It was important to keep the peace even if hurting her was the only option.

Kat gave me a quick glare before standing and kicking me directly in the shin. A rush of pain overwhelmed me, so I reached down to sooth the area.

“What is wrong with you?” She asked.

“You wouldn’t understand even if I told you.” If I could only look her in those blue eyes and confess my love for her. If she only understood what it was like for me to live under the same roof as her, to see her loving on my twin as if I didn’t exist. How could all of our years being so close end up like this? I’d been the one to love her, to comfort, and protect her. Yet she’d picked my brother, the guy who only cared about himself. I’d had it with them.

“Is this about me and Branch?” Her inquiry was a day late and dollar short. I was done fighting.

I shrugged and let out an air-filled laugh. “Kat, why don’t you go back over there with your boyfriend, and stay out of my shit? You want to ask me if I’m jealous, but you’re the one that got all hot and bothered at the table, wishing it was your pussy my fingers were touching. Stop acting like it’s not true. I know you, and I can tell it got to you.”

She froze. I recognized the look and was fully aware I’d hit a nerve. Kat turned to look at Branch before responding to my rude comment. “I hate you!” Even as a whisper I could hear her loud and clear.

When she began to walk away I captured her arm. “Kat, wait. I was kidding.”

She did what anyone in her situation would have done. She walked over and woke my brother, before pulling him out of the room, leaving me to sulk in my own misery.

It took me a while to come to grips with what had just occurred between us. Snapping wasn’t exactly how I should have responded to her, yet the situation was something I could no longer take back. This wasn’t just a breaking point for me. Kat needed to hear me out, once and for all.

Entering her dark room was like walking in front of a locked and loaded firing squad. I knew she was angry, and possibly even hurt. The moment I closed the door behind me I rushed to her bedside. “Please don’t cry,” I took her hands, pulling her close to me, while my lips instantly pressed against her face. I could tell from the way she stayed still that she thought I was Branch. Her sobs quieted, and my next comment was only spoken to test the waters. “Don’t be upset because of that asshole.”

“I just want to forget about this whole day. Please, make me forget,” She begged.

I’d waited three hundred and sixty five days to be in this situation again. I had a whole year to kick myself for pretending to be my brother, but I couldn’t keep from touching her. Once again I was right back in this predicament, yearning to have what I knew I wasn’t allowed to grasp.

Kat made the next move, pulling me down on the mattress with her. Our kisses were in sync, and I couldn’t understand how perfect it felt to experience it again. I was patient, taking my time as I ventured over her skin with my gentle hands. Though I tried to fight my fears, I couldn’t deny that my shaking wasn’t from being scared. There were so many reasons I should have pulled away and walked out of the room. I was risking my family once more.

Restricting myself from this for the past year had only intensified my need. Nothing could have stopped me, not even Branch himself. The more she reacted, the less worrying I did. I’d succumb to the pleasure, and when it was over I’d come clean. I had to because I hated the terrible person that I’d let myself become.

After we’d made love for the second time, I held her close to me, kissing her on the head. My heart was beating rapidly, and I knew I couldn’t puss out. I’d been living with a lie for far too long. “I love you so much,” I whispered.