Love Survives(11)

My only concern then would be to look her in the eyes and say goodbye, without the whole world seeing right through me.





Chapter 5

“Mom, Dad, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

My mom played with her hands while my dad sat back in his chair trying to figure me out. “Did you get a girl pregnant?” He asked.

I focused my gaze elsewhere and shook my head, wishing that were the case. “No. It’s not that.” I looked down at the tan carpet, unable to face their reactions. “I’ve enlisted in the Army.”

“You what?” My mother stood up, grabbing my attention immediately. Tears filled her eyes as she covered her mouth in a natural reaction. “Why?”

I shrugged. “For a lot of reasons. It doesn’t matter. It’s happening.”

“Brooks, you’re seventeen.” My father was already trying to find a loophole to get me out of it.

“By the time I go to boot camp I’ll be eighteen. This is what I want.” For the record it wasn’t what I’d always set out to do, but it was the only way I knew I’d be able to stay away from Kat. “Please don’t fight me on this. I need your support.” With tears in my eyes I watched both of my parents face the hard facts. They couldn’t change what was done. I was going away, taking myself out of the equation before I lost control.

After our chat, I had to give my brother the news. Honestly, he took it better than anyone, making me upset. His reaction only proved that he still felt threatened by my presence.

It wasn’t hard to deal with Branch until Kat entered the room. Then I could feel my heart being tugged in a different way.

“So, I told Mom and Dad earlier. They know I leave right after graduation.” It was the easiest way to break the ice with Kat; to get a feel of how she would take it.

“Where are you going?” Her curiosity made the hair on my arms stand up.

“He enlisted,” Branch announced.

“What? When?” Kat sat up and stared right into my eyes as if she was having a bad dream. I wasn’t certain, but I sensed more than a friendly concern on her face.

“Last week, like you care.” I’d been playing a video game with Branch while we talked, and unpaused the game to avoid looking at her for a long period of time. Besides, it made it easier to hide my emotions when I stayed occupied with something else.

She was quiet for a minute, but I refused to look in her direction. She couldn’t know how much it hurt me to imagine being away from her. She’d never know what it was like to be so close, but feel as if she were miles away. I couldn’t take the agonizing truth anymore. I had to free myself from this hell. It was the only way to stay sane. She was with Branch, who she obviously loved. She’d made her choice, so I had to make mine.

“We all care. What made you want to do that?”

“I want to be able to give back to our country, Kat. You’ve got until June to make amends with me,” I said with a snicker.

“Whether it’s June or next week, it wouldn’t change my opinion of you.”

I couldn’t handle the truth. Kat didn’t care if I left. She acted like she did, but it was obvious she and Branch wanted me out of their hair. I was holding them back, being the third wheel.

While standing just outside the room I listened to what they were saying. “That wasn’t nice, babe.” At least my brother had the decency to notice she’d been cold.

“I meant that we’d miss him the same.” Kat’s argument didn’t make me feel better.

“It wasn’t how it came out. All I heard was you telling him to get lost.”

“Well, I didn’t mean it that way. Maybe if he wasn’t being such a jerk lately he would have known.”

“Go apologize. Mom is already freaking out on him. He needs our support. I know he pissed you off last night, but maybe he’s scared and wants to occupy his time. He can’t be up our asses every second. Since we share the same DNA I’d say that he’s probably horny constantly.”

“Fine, I’ll go talk to him.”

I ran up the stairs after hearing her agree to come talk to me. The last thing I needed was her finding out I was still listening to the two of them talking.

When she came into my room I was tossing a ball against the wall. Even out of breath, I pretending to act annoyed when she spoke.

“Can we talk? I think you misunderstood me back there.”

“I didn’t misunderstand anything, Kat. I get that you want me out of the way. Trust me, I want to get the fuck away from you and my brother too.” It was important to push her away, so she wouldn’t hurt when I was gone. I didn’t want her to miss me because it would make me want to come home to comfort her.