Love Survives(22)

“This is about your brother?” He inquired.

“No. I guess, maybe indirectly. It’s more about me, and something that I did years ago…with Kat.”

“Oh. Please don’t tell me that you…Brooks, how far did it go?”

I closed my eyes. This wasn’t like writing it in a letter and mailing it off. I could hear my father’s breathing change. I knew he was going to be repulsed that I’d done something so heinous under his roof. I was a disgrace, and he’d seen it that way. “Dad, you need to know it wasn’t planned.”

“When did it happen? How did your brother find out?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Kat didn’t know it was me.”

“How is that possible?”

“It was dark. She was crying. She thought I was Branch, and I didn’t tell her differently. She didn’t find out until after I’d left. Branch found a letter I’d left for her in the tree house. Look, it doesn’t even matter now. What’s important is knowing why I can’t come to that ceremony and stand up for him, not now, maybe not ever. I’m not a good brother. I’ve been in love with Kat my whole life. There’s no way I can watch her promising to love him forever, not when I’m wishing it was me instead.”

“Son, why are you telling me this? Did you call for advice because honestly, I don’t know what to say.”

“I guess I’m calling because I want you to tell me that it’s okay if I don’t come to the wedding. Say that someday you’ll forgive me. Tell me I’m not ruining the ceremony by showing my face.”

“I spoke to your brother this morning. He’s looking forward to seeing you. He picked up your tux already. Whatever happened in the past, he’s obviously either gotten over it, or he’s letting it go for the family. It would break your mother’s heart if you didn’t show up. Son, I can’t tell you how to feel, but you’ve got to suck it up, at least for the next two nights. We’re all excited about seeing you. Things have changed. They’re happy now. We’ve all made mistakes. It’s part of the learning process.”

“It’s not just that, Dad. I still care about, Kat. I still love her.”

“Brooks, you’re a grown man now. The choice is yours, but I do hope you make it for the right reason. I’ll be looking for you at the hotel, but if I don’t see you, at least know that your mom and I love you no matter what. It couldn’t have been easy being in the same room as them. I’ll never understand how she chose Branch, but that’s another story for a different time. Whatever you decide, I’ll be proud of you.”

“I appreciate that, sir.”

“We’ll be seeing you soon. I know you’ll make the right choice.”

When we hung up I looked at the double doors opening and closing as people entered and exited the airport. I was one flight way from seeing the love of my life again. Was I really going to be scared about my brother? What more could he throw at me that I hadn’t already experienced a million times before? He already had what I wanted. He’d won, I’d lost. The truth was sleeping next to him every night, wearing the ring that he’d saved up to buy. If he knew her any at all, he would have presented her with her mother’s ring, which she’d mentioned using again and again.

As much as Branch irked me, I recognized there was little I could do. My job was to stand by his side while he promised to love and cherish Kat. It was going to be the most important day of their lives, and they’d invited me to stand beside them. As a brother I understood I couldn’t let them down. As much as it was going to sting, it was paramount to all the guests, but mostly our parents. Kat was finally taking the Valentine name. I’d dreamed of the moment that she’d become my wife, I just never suspected she’d be his instead.

There was no right decision. In my eyes it was all wrong.

I made one more phone call before checking in for my flight. I didn’t know how he’d react to me contacting him, but I at least had to attempt to keep the peace.

“Hello, brother. Are you calling to tell me you’re not going to show?”

“Is that what you want to hear?”

“I don’t know, Brooks. In a way, yeah, it would make it less weird, but it’s not just my wedding. If I had it my way we would have eloped a long time ago. This ceremony is for Katy. It’s what she wants, and I promised to make sure it’s perfect.”

“That’s the reason for my call. Are you going to be okay if I’m there?”

“As long as you keep your hands off my soon-to-be wife, I don’t care. We’re still brothers even if I want to rip out your throat.”