Lost in Silence (The Lost Series Book 1)(24)

Fine! If he wanted to sleep on the couch, who was I to argue? I shrug and turn back towards the room. I throw him a look over my shoulder as I walk down the hall.

*****

Hudson

This woman is going to be the death of me. I can feel it deep down. The look she threw me after walking away from our first argument was the last thing I expected. It was nowhere on my radar but there it was all over her face and I liked it.

I hadn’t expected her to take my challenge but she had. It told me my instincts were right about her. Her lack of speech is based off of conditioning. Erik took it away, her ability to speak. It was serious shit too because she really did try to get the words out.

She’s beginning to trust me and she’s becoming more comfortable with me as we spend time in each other’s presence. I like it, a lot. It gives me hope. Hope she is going to break his spell. With each piece of trust she’s gives freely, she’s one step closer to taking her life back.

I carried her bag to the room soon after our argument and found her passed out on the bed, her shoes kicked off beside the bed. Happy to see her resting, I settle into my life at home. I don’t know how long I’ll be here but I always try to keep to some kind of routine when here. Only this time my routine wasn’t going to work, not with another person in the mix. That thought reminds me to speak with Missy about Alice. I need to have a plan in place for her in case I get a call to head back out to work.

A loud thump tears me from my thoughts and my ears strain to listen closer. The door to the bedroom opens, slamming into the wall behind it and Alice barrels down the hall like a freight train. She stops dead in her tracks when she sees me and her eyes go from wild to calm. I stand up from my chair, dropping the book in my hand and move towards her. I catch her as her legs give out and she crumbles to the ground.

Pulling her in close, I wrap both arms around her. She’s trembling violently and tears fall from her eyes. I hate seeing her cry, my gut clenches in agony.

“Hush, precious, you’re safe,” I can’t feel anything except the pain in my chest for her. My mind is only consumed with comforting her. She burrows deep into me, allowing me to tighten my hold around her. Her silent cries against my chest. “I’ve got you.”

She takes a deep breath, her trembles begin to subside and her tears dry but she doesn’t move. I feel a calmness settle over her, allowing my own breath to return to my chest.

“You’re safe with me precious, you’re always safe with me,” I whisper stroking her hair. I wanted to say more but I don’t.

Whatever has her spooked is still there but here in my arms she feels safe and that’s all that matters to me. She can stay here all day if she wants. I’ll gladly hold her. She feels good in my arms but I’m careful to remember just how boney and fragile she is. The thought makes me aware of just how tight I’m holding her and I loosen my hold on her. She grunts and objects, burrowing herself deeper into my chest.

“I’m afraid of hurting you,” I press my lips into her hair. She shakes her head, telling me I’m not. I still feel uncomfortable holding her this tight but I remain stoic. “Okay, I won’t let go.”

*****

Alice

I shouldn’t be here like this with him. This is dangerous. Not just for me but for him too. But I can’t push him away anymore than I can pull myself away. It feels right to be with him like this. I can sit here forever if he lets me. After everything my life has been about for the last six years, letting him hold me like this, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.

I thought Erik had broken every piece of me but I was wrong. At least where Hudson is concerned I’m wrong. When I think about the others, the ones Erik sold me to for the right price, I always feel disgust and pain. Nothing like what I feel with Hudson. I never wanted another man to touch me until Hudson. His touch does something to me, I don’t understand it but surprisingly I’m alright with it. Even though it thrills me, it frightens me just the same.

He makes me feel safe and protected. He makes me feel like I’m worth something. He’s slowly waking something deep inside me. Something I thought died years ago. Saving me from Erik, not once but twice, begging to keep me safe, bringing me here to his home, shielding me from his sister, giving up his bedroom to me, everything about him is just good. He’s more than I deserve.

I like feeling him this close to me. As much as I have fought it and pushed him away, I can’t do it anymore. I know I am no good for him and he deserves someone better, someone pure. Not someone like me, who’s used and disgusting.

The nightmare that woke me, the one that sent me into a wild frenzy is a reminder of why exactly I’m no good for him.