Let It Snow(85)

She felt his warm breath fan down her neck, sending a delicious chill down her spine. His lips brushed against her outer ear, causing a deep pull in her core as he whispered, “Are you ready?”

She was ready for something, but she didn’t really think it would be appropriate for outdoors.

“Yes,” she said as she nodded her head.

He removed his hands from her eyes and her breath caught in her throat as tears immediately filled her eyes. They were standing on her Gran’s porch. A brand-new swing was hanging from the rafters, and there were two insulated cups sitting beside the swing and a box of donuts.

“Oh my gosh!” Tessa flung her arms around Jake’s neck as tears poured down her face. “When did you do this?”

His arms came around her and he rubbed up and down her back. “I’ve had the new swing in the garage since the day we all worked on the house. I was just waiting for the first snow. I got up a few hours ago and hung it. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Tessa took in a shaky breath as she wiped her eyes. “You didn’t have to do that.”

He pulled back and looked down at her, his eyes and tone growing serious. “Yes. I did.”

As she stared up into Jake’s big brown eyes, she felt warmed from the inside out. It might have been thirty degrees outside, but when Jake looked at her like that, she was more than warm—she was hot.

“Come here.” He tugged her with him and they sat on the brand-new swing. He handed her a cup, and before the liquid even hit her mouth, she could smell that it was hot chocolate. And it might be a figment of her imagination but it smelled and tasted exactly the same as it had all those years ago.

Tessa looked out over the unobscured view of the face of the mountain and was momentarily paralyzed by its beauty. As snow fell on the majestic Sierra Nevadas, sprinkling it with white powder, it gave it an almost fairytale-like appearance.

She felt the swing move beneath her as Jake reached behind it. Tessa turned her head just in time to see him pulling out the very same patchwork comforter they’d snuggled underneath the first time they’d done this. It looked like it was in perfect condition. She’d asked her Gran for it when she’d first moved to Arizona and she’d told her that she didn’t have it anymore.

“Where did you…? How did you…?” Tessa couldn’t believe her eyes.

Jake didn’t answer as he draped it over her shoulders and wrapped her up in it like a burrito, only her hands wrapped around her mug sticking out. Turning towards her, he circled his arms around her and pulled her snugly to him, her back resting against his chest.

Tessa closed her eyes, so overwhelmed by…everything.

She couldn’t speak. She just sat against Jake’s solidness, sipping her hot chocolate as he rocked them slowly in the swing.

Everything in Tessa’s world, right at this moment, was…perfect.

“I’ve had this”—Jake’s hand grazed the comforter that was covering Tessa—“since the night that I came looking for you after I went back to the hospital and you weren’t there. I took it with me after I searched the whole house.”

Okay, maybe not perfect.

Tessa swallowed hard as her stomach dipped—and not from the motion of the swing. Sitting up, she placed the cup down on the small table that sat next to the hanging swing and turned back to face Jake. If they were going to talk about this, she needed to be looking at him.

“Why did you leave?” Jake asked. She saw moisture filling his eyes and her heart broke all over again.

She’d known this moment was coming. It was inevitable. Jake needed to hear the truth. The whole truth.

Taking a deep breath and reaching inside herself, she tried to stay calm as she spoke. “When we were in the truck, I only told you half of what the doctors told me—”

“What?!” Jake interrupted, “What do you mean?”

Tessa felt like she was going to throw up. This shouldn’t be that hard. They were both adults now. They’d moved on with their lives. They weren’t lovesick teens with idealistic views of what their futures held. But apparently her heart and body had not gotten that memo because they were both behaving as if that was exactly what they were.

Tessa shook her head a little, trying to pull it together as tears again fell unbidden down her cheeks. She sniffed. “They told me that I had been born with a congenital abnormality in my fallopian tubes. That alone would have made it difficult to conceive. But when I had the miscarriage, my fallopian tube burst and they said that in all likelihood I would never be able to conceive children.” Tears were pouring down her cheeks now, and she felt like her heart was being ripped out of her body as she said, “I can never have a baby.”