Just a Little Crush(83)

Ryder came back in with both our suitcases. He set them down and glanced at me. “You sure you’re okay? You don’t look okay.”

“I’m just tired.”

“Maybe you need to talk with your mom. Like a real talk. When she’s sober.”

“I doubt it will help.”

Ryder leaned against the dresser and crossed his ankles. “Hmm. Okay.”

“What? Just say what you’re thinking. Be honest. I want your opinion.”

“I think you need to be honest. Even if it’s brutal. She needs to know how you really feel. She needs to hear the truth. All the hurtful things she’s said. The things you’ve seen. She needs to understand how bad it’s gotten in order for her to get better.”

“I don’t know. It seems harsh. And I’ll probably say the wrong things, like always.”

“You say you’re protecting her from herself but at what cost?” He stepped toward me, reached for my hand and held it against his chest. “It’s time to be honest with her. And with yourself. You aren’t protecting her. You’re shielding her from the truth while leaving yourself exposed. Please don’t take this the wrong way but what you call protecting, I see as enabling.”

I looked away.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

My lip trembled and I clamped it with my teeth. I shook my head. “It’s fine. I asked for your opinion.” And the truth was I’d thought the same thing. But it really sucked hearing it from someone else.

“Brin, I’m sorry. I should have kept my opinion to myself. I overstepped.”

“Stop apologizing,” I snapped. My shoulders sank. It wasn’t fair to take it out on him. “You’re right. It’s just hard to hear. I’m not mad about what you said, I’m mad at myself.”

With a gentle tug, he pulled me to his chest. “Next time, feel free to tell me to shut up.”

“I love your honesty. Always have.” And if I was honest with myself, I loved a whole lot more than his honesty.

I collapsed onto my old twin bed and stared at him. “This bed isn’t very big. You can sleep here if you’d like and I can sleep in Grandma’s.”

He stretched out on the bed and pulled me down. “Stay here with me.”

I rolled onto my side and stared into his eyes. “Thanks for driving me home.”

“Quit thanking me. I’d do anything for you. You know that, right?” He rubbed my cheek and smiled. “Get some rest and if you’re uncomfortable just give me a shove. At this point, I could sleep on the floor and wouldn’t care.”

I laughed. “I don’t plan to push you off, but no promises. Sometimes I toss and turn a lot.”

He kicked off his shoes then unbuttoned his cargo shorts. “Do you mind?”

“I don’t expect you to sleep fully clothed.” I forced myself up and dug around in my suitcase for something to sleep in.

We both changed then settled back into my old twin bed.

“Sorry,” I said with a yawn. “This bed is seriously tiny.”

“Gives me an excuse to grope you all night.”

I laughed.

“And if I wasn’t too exhausted to lift my hand, I would.”

With a smile, I tucked myself into his chest and glanced up. “Too bad, because I’m way too exhausted to object.”

“Damn.” He smiled back. Then ran his hand over my hair and kissed my forehead. “ ’Night.”

“ ’Night.” I nestled into his chest as he wrapped his arm around me.

Sleep settled over me, making everything leading up to this point feel like a dream. The phone call, the drive home, my mom. It didn’t seem real. But Ryder. Well, he was real. And the reality of what tomorrow might hold didn’t bother me, because in this moment I was happy. Bundled in his arms, nothing could touch me, and some part of me knew Ryder would never let anything hurt me again. Himself included.

—

The next morning, I woke before Ryder. He’d rolled onto his back but his arms remained around me. I’d shifted during the night and now lay with my leg draped over his, leaving us a tangle of arms and legs.

I should have gotten up and checked on Mom. But this was preferable. This was perfection.

Ryder’s fingers grazed up my arm then drifted back down.

Goosebumps prickled my skin. Warmth from his chiseled stomach radiated into my palm. I fought the urge to push my hand under his shirt. My fingers twitched, tempted to seek out the ridges of his abdomen. I shifted my hand down, slipped it under his shirt and glided my nails over his abs.

Ryder’s stomach tightened as he sucked in a breath. He held it as my hand drifted higher then exhaled slowly as I grazed my way back down. “Brinley?”